I've been feeling very lonely lately

Hi, 

my name is Gabriel, I'm 30 and live in Sweden. 

Lately...the last 8-9 months I've been feeling very lonely and just don't know what to do. Nothing gives me joy anymore, nothing makes me mad....it's like i've love the ability to feel. I have people around me, friend and family, I guess I'm lucky that way, but I still feel extremely lonely all the time. 

I'm just looking for someone to talk to, someone that cares and someone that listens. I don't know what else to write...I never thought I'd find myself in this situation...where I would reach out to total strangers because the silence i live in is deafening...but here I am. 

So if you want to know anything else, or if you have any help to provide...don't be a stranger because I've had enough of those in my life. 

KR 
A guy that barely hangs on...

Welcome to the site! Please be patient as it takes a little time to get responses.

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Hi Gabriel,  I am new just like you and I have been chatting up a storm and its helping for I came under the same circumstances that I believe you can under sick of the people in our lives and we want new friends. Friends need to have something in common with you and if their life style is so very different from yours then it just won.t work and dissolve in the future---this I think is normal---"I think"... Heck I dropped three friends in the last year and I feel much lighter and have more of a lively step so don't despair and just continue this "game of life" and keep moving forward...Thanks for the post and I hope you like it here. And "that old finished" he is much younger than me and now I am playing with him listen to him between the words---lol lol..Welcome to the forum for lonely people...priscella..

Hi and welcome to the site

Many times a proper perspective can cure loneliness. I have been in Asia and seen families with nothing to eat, no running water, no job, and yet they are happy when they get a little something. You are in one of the best countries to be in, and I assume that you are not deprived of the comforts of life. Good food, health, house, job, transportation and entertainment … so much blessing. You can be surrounded by a crowd of friends and still be lonely. The fountain of joy must come from within. Maybe your loneliness can be filled only by knowing God. Why don’t you try and find him. I have seen many people with extreme loneliness overcome it when they started to learn about Jesus. I am one of them.

And also look for online videos on how poor people all over the world try to exist from day to day and you might get a better appreciation of your superior living conditions. You can watch sports or go to a mall and just start chatting with someone. Friends are drawn to people who have a healthy outlook in life. People on church are often like that. Why don’t you consider visiting one and you might find comfort and joy from these people. But the bottom line is, do not depend on others for your joy. It should bubble up from you whether you are all by yourself or with others. I do not mean that you should avoid making friends and talking to people but do not wait for someone to lift you up, all you need is yourself. Enjoy and appreciate life. There is so much to be thankful for.

Hi Gabriel,

I've got so much to say to you that I figure should probably just say one or two things and then you can tell me if you want any more advice 

First, everybody goes through periods of their life when they feel lonely. Everyone. And it can be really unexpected. I mean you expect it when kids go off to school, or children leave home, or when someone is isolated. But some people feel quite lonely when they're newlyweds, or after having a baby, or other times you'd never expect. So, feeling lonely isn't really about being alone, it's about feeling unconnected, just as you say. 

So, you reached out to make connections. That's the perfect action to take. And it almost has to be strangers, doesn't it? It would be really awkward to talk about feeling lonely to a friend or family member who is sitting right there! Even if they weren't offended, they'd probably remind you of all the people you do have around you, which isn't actually the problem, is it? 

I'm saying this: please don't judge yourself. Not for being lonely, not for reaching out. But, you do have to consider whether you might have depression. Not finding pleasure in anything is a warning for that. Especially if you've lost pleasure in things you used to enjoy. You can test it a bit, by seeking out lots of small things that you usually really like, anything from looking at a certain sight to playing with kittens  :shy: Just small things. If you still enjoy those, it could be a sign that you've simply not been doing enough enjoyable stuff! Maybe because you feel you don't have anyone to share them with, and don't know yet how to enjoy them alone. If you don't enjoy them, or can't even get motivated to look for small pleasures, then I'd recommend talking to your doctor or whatever support line you can find. I've not lived in Sweden for 10 years, so don't know what services there are right now. I do know that EVERYONE will tell you that exercise is the first step. So, if you're not exercising, get ready to hear that.....a lot 

Welcome to the forums

Minus said:

Welcome to the forums

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Thanks 

Lorelie said:

Minus said:

Welcome to the forums

Click to expand...

Thanks 

Click to expand...

I agree with Lorelie and welcome to the forum Gabriel...Do a little exercise and maybe get on some kind of a different food diet for believe it or not it seems to be working for me...Welcome to the forums...

I've had the lack of enjoyment lately, and it seems as if there isn't an end to it. Just one relentless day after another. It's not very fun because what is the point of life if all the fun is sucked from it? I just barely manage to get from day to day.

Hi Gabriel. I often find myself feeling similar emotions to the ones you've described, so if you'd like to talk, feel free to message me. I cant promise I'll be of any help, but I will be a "listening ear".

GabrielL said:

Hi, 

my name is Gabriel, I'm 30 and live in Sweden. 

Lately...the last 8-9 months I've been feeling very lonely and just don't know what to do. Nothing gives me joy anymore, nothing makes me mad....it's like i've love the ability to feel. I have people around me, friend and family, I guess I'm lucky that way, but I still feel extremely lonely all the time. 

I'm just looking for someone to talk to, someone that cares and someone that listens. I don't know what else to write...I never thought I'd find myself in this situation...where I would reach out to total strangers because the silence i live in is deafening...but here I am. 

So if you want to know anything else, or if you have any help to provide...don't be a stranger because I've had enough of those in my life. 

KR 
A guy that barely hangs on...

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Hello and Welcome! I hope this place helps you out some. I've felt like that in similar situations, so trust me your not alone. Feeling lonely when there's people around you is tough. Times are tough right now especially, so I am sure that can't help either. If you'd like to ever talk, drop me a message!