My practical experience

So thanks to my annoying friends reminding me I had a relationship with a female I actually thought about it for the first time in years.  Since then for some reason it has eaten at the back of my mind.  So I guess I just need to write out some thoughts to finally get it out fo my life so I can slowly age in peace.  

It was a little over a decade ago that this relationship came to an end.  I have not had any new ones since, which I am proud of.  I met her on a forum, a rare meeting where you meet someone who happens to live near you.  I chose to ignore my instincts.  I was raised around females, my mom and two sisters, I know that there was nothing to be gained from actually seeing this female in person.  Yet for some reason I chose to ignore the red flag.  The only good thing that came out of this was my confirmation of what I already knew.  Casual, non-professional, in person, physical relationships with females are worthless.  I guess since I had one I can officially say that.  Back then it was all theory based on observation not actual experience.  So to her I say congratulations I am doing everything in my power to forget you ever existed, like you wanted.  Hell even my father and brothers think I have never had a female in my life.  I will keep up the lie because their shocked faces are just hilarious.  I can think back and see that our relationship was a net negative to my life.

I think back and realize how much time she spent trying to convince me to abuse her, emotionally and/or physically.  She would regularly ask what it would take for me to get angry enough to hit her.  She would often times tell me to not waste my time with the pretense of hanging out.  To just call her up and tell her to come over and have sex with me.  Thinking back right around the time she left she was spending time with another guy who would leave her in tears after every phone call she fielded at my place.  Guess I know why she left right?

so in the off event that she sees this post I want her to know that I just thinking about her makes me do everything in my power to make females hate me.  Not that I have to try to hard.  I have yet to meet another female who was as desperate for a relationship as her.  I am talking avoiding extinction levels of desperation.  Even if I did meet another female like her I would keep her at text length as simply typing is too much work let alone actually speaking.   I think if I stay this fat no one will ever want me.  I think if I do not comb my hair people will leave me alone.  I think if I do not shower females will be repulsed.  Thanks to her I can quietly die alone.  So I am grateful I really am.  If I could go back in time and change things that would be my first stop.  I would have never even replied to her PM.  Thankfully I am an ugly, fat, loser Just being seen is enough to keep such things away from me.  I will never have another relationship and I will die alone.  So my sole regret is letting her convince me that a relationship might be worth it.

I do not mind people being a lot overweight that is their choice of how they want to try to live their life and represent themselves but what I cannot stand in regard to this is being a slob and not caring about the job that they are charged with for I met one handyman person who actually swept the broom in the air and it picked up nothing and he was willing to let it go like this because he just did not care--even being paid good money--did not care nor did he care about body cleanliness and if the person doesn't care why should I..Also going up to my attic to get something I thought he was going to have a heart attack. On the other hand I have met wonderful overweight people and I judge them to be very very smart and caring and i suppose you will fall into that category.. I had one friend that got me a real large teddy bear for my birthday that I have till this day and there was a box of candy in it that I ate all up as well. I am sorry that you are alone now but with your wonderful explaining I think that life will bring in something special for you down the road---when you least expect it---hang in them and glad you joined this forum..Welcome..

You’ll find someone sooner or later but you’ll have to be active in looking. I’m plus size and I’ve had some problems with it with finding a boyfriend but there have been times when my dates didn’t mind. You just have to find someone who is open minded. My current (my second bf ever) and ex are very slim and I’ve always been ashamed about my weight but they always made me feel beautiful. Anyway, best of luck.

---

You know that not every plus size person is overweight by choice said:

I do not mind people being a lot overweight that is their choice of how they want to try to live their life and represent themselves but what I cannot stand in regard to this is being a slob and not caring about the job that they are charged with for I met one handyman person who actually swept the broom in the air and it picked up nothing and he was willing to let it go like this because he just did not care--even being paid good money--did not care nor did he care about body cleanliness and if the person doesn't care why should I..Also going up to my attic to get something I thought he was going to have a heart attack. On the other hand I have met wonderful overweight people and I judge them to be very very smart and caring and i suppose you will fall into that category.. I had one friend that got me a real large teddy bear for my birthday that I have till this day and there was a box of candy in it that I ate all up as well. I am sorry that you are alone now but with your wonderful explaining I think that life will bring in something special for you down the road---when you least expect it---hang in them and glad you joined this forum..Welcome..

Click to expand...

---

priscella said:

I do not mind people being a lot overweight that is their choice of how they want to try to live their life and represent themselves but what I cannot stand in regard to this is being a slob and not caring about the job that they are charged with for I met one handyman person who actually swept the broom in the air and it picked up nothing and he was willing to let it go like this because he just did not care--even being paid good money--did not care nor did he care about body cleanliness and if the person doesn't care why should I..Also going up to my attic to get something I thought he was going to have a heart attack. On the other hand I have met wonderful overweight people and I judge them to be very very smart and caring and i suppose you will fall into that category.. I had one friend that got me a real large teddy bear for my birthday that I have till this day and there was a box of candy in it that I ate all up as well. I am sorry that you are alone now but with your wonderful explaining I think that life will bring in something special for you down the road---when you least expect it---hang in them and glad you joined this forum..Welcome..

Click to expand...

You know that not every plus size person is overweight by choice, right? Medication and illnesses can be acause for weight gain. You’ve implied that being plus size is a lifestyle. That’s not it. It’s NOT a choice for all plus size people

correction and that is very true what you say some people do not have a choice at all about their weight...Thanks for correcting.. priscella

AFrozenSoul said:

Casual, non-professional, in person, physical relationships with females are worthless.  I guess since I had one I can officially say that. 

I think back and realize how much time she spent trying to convince me to abuse her, emotionally and/or physically. 

Thankfully I am an ugly, fat, loser Just being seen is enough to keep such things away from me.  I will never have another relationship and I will die alone.

Click to expand...

I too met someone through an online forum. After more then a year of sending emails back and fourth I drove to her place nearly 600 miles away, against my better judgement. I included it into a vacation trip to make it easier to justify. Nether of us were physically attracted to the other but we enjoyed writing each other. So, that's what we did until we grew apart several years later. She was no longer willing to debate disagreements. She was getting frustrated and angry. So, we stopped communicating. It was 99% her decision. I suppose I could be mad at her for many reasons. But, I choose to remember her in a positive way. I remember the joy and companionship she brought to me. I hope she does well with the rest of her life.

Yes, there are a lot of crazy people out there. I had two girlfriends that wanted me to "pretend" rape them, their words. I wouldn't do it though. They wanted to be controlled and dominated and would start arguments just for the sake of having conflict. I've always understood that women have been fighting against violence for decades. I have zero desire to harm a woman especially one that I care about. I guess it's problems from their pasts coming forward, previous abuse by a loved one, or a primordial need. I don't know. We are all just animals after all. But, I'm not going to judge all women based on those two. I've met several women that really impressed me with how together they were. They weren't interested in me though.

I plan to be alone for the rest of my life. It really is much easier. But, I don't need to be mad about it. I just accept it and work with what I have. BTW, I'm clean, comb my hair, shave, I'm responsible, and I'm in good healthy shape. But, I'm not attractive and appear skinny to others. I have found that many non-obese women do not like guys thinner then they are due to their own insecurities about their weight. Most women not only ignore me but actually avoid me altogether. So, you don't have to be extra large to repel people.

kuro said:

You know that not every plus size person is overweight by choice, right? Medication and illnesses can be acause for weight gain. You’ve implied that being plus size is a lifestyle. That’s not it. It’s NOT a choice for all plus size people

Click to expand...

Actually, most meds like that only cause increased appetite and the like, which means you still have a choice whether to continue eating or not. 
I'm on meds that can cause weight gain and I haven't gained a pound.  My son is on meds that can cause weight gain and he hasn't gained a pound...okay, yes he has, but he's still growing, so he will. lol 

There are some meds that can change how fat is stored, which can increase your weight and some that decrease your metabolism, but again, it's usually the person's choice whether they allow that to happen or not. 

Yes, there are exceptions, but IMO, the majority of people just don't do enough or anything to combat the side effects.  For the majority of people, they are looking for an excuse, whether it's depression or meds or anxiety or whatever and they use what they have instead of finding ways to bypass the problems.