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lonelycrying1

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I came to a point in my life where i thought i did everything to be happy but I realize that being happy means some bit sacrifice for our own happiness or sanity. In times of loneliness we are surrounded with torments ( people aroubd us and situation ) and the more we wanted to go away.
In my experience i basically find unhappiness or happiness for that matter surrounded with people or situation that are different from me ormine. Basically it comes from comparing ourselves to others. Comparing ourselves to others is probably innate in us all. Though some people claim they dont but still its inevital its like saying i dont look myself in the mirror.
Looking at others we find flaws in us whether we want it or not.
We starting disliking things about us. We start wanting things we dont have. Soon it creates poison in us and little by little starts making one unhappy.
 
Seeing differences in others and noticing flaws in ourselves doesn't have to be "comparing." Sometimes it's just noticing things and wanting to be more like someone else (depending on what it is, of course) isn't always a bad thing.
For example "I wish I was more outgoing like she is" isn't a bad thing. It's something that you want and identified so you can start working to get yourself where you want to be. It can simply be about self growth and improvement. We can grow and improve if we don't notice our flaws. And seeing something in others that we want to be more like isn't a bad thing, unless you make it a bad thing.

Every choice you make in life is exactly that. A choice. You decide. If you want to compare yourself to others and have the negative emotions that come with that, it's your choice. If you want to let it "poison" you, it's your choice.
 
TheRealCallie said:
Seeing differences in others and noticing flaws in ourselves doesn't have to be "comparing." Sometimes it's just noticing things and wanting to be more like someone else (depending on what it is, of course) isn't always a bad thing.
For example "I wish I was more outgoing like she is" isn't a bad thing. It's something that you want and identified so you can start working to get yourself where you want to be. It can simply be about self growth and improvement. We can grow and improve if we don't notice our flaws. And seeing something in others that we want to be more like isn't a bad thing, unless you make it a bad thing.

Every choice you make in life is exactly that. A choice. You decide. If you want to compare yourself to others and have the negative emotions that come with that, it's your choice. If you want to let it "poison" you, it's your choice.




Thanks. You are right.
And so be it.
 
I agree to a point. It's great to improve the stuff you can. Several times in my myself I was impressed with other's behaviors. This one guys was always professional at work even when angry. I admired that and told him so. He told me to think of someone else that always acts professional. Then when you something happens you ask yourself what would so and so do. Then you do that. It worked great for me and I ended up passing it on to someone else. The frustrating part is seeing others being rewarded for things you can't obtain no matter how hard you try while some of your best skills aren't considered valuable.
 
Finished said:
I agree to a point. It's great to improve the stuff you can. Several times in my myself I was impressed with other's behaviors. This one guys was always professional at work even when angry. I admired that and told him so. He told me to think of someone else that always acts professional. Then when you something happens you ask yourself what would so and so do. Then you do that. It worked great for me and I ended up passing it on to someone else. The frustrating part is seeing others being rewarded for things you can't obtain no matter how hard you try while some of your best skills aren't considered valuable.

For me, when i stop looking at others. How beautiful they are how accpmplishedthey are. How talented they are and so. And just focused on myself . Self belief and self love and self goal. And not to mentioned staying away from people who only make me unlove myself and all. I noticed my chaotic world became quiet and peaceful. A friend just sent me a phot of her at a party with all beautiful people on it and i thought chaos is starting to build in. Mind you i have undergone radical transformation medically and physically yet it was never enough. I am glad that at this point i have found some inner peace and self acceptance. By simply trying not to look at others.
 
^ Good. However, we can't "succeed" in life on our own. We work for others who judge us and evaluate us all the time. If we work for ourselves, I ran two small businesses, then we are judged and evaluated by our customers even more intensely. In order to meet people one really needs to belong to a group or several. The people in that group can make you seem better then you are. They also can introduce you via their connects and vouch for you. That's why jobs want references. So, in order to get the jobs, customers, and other things in life, you need to fit in with others. The way you do that is by listening to people judging you and then changing to fit in so they will accept you as part of the team.

Or, you can disconnect yourself and say F it. Some people are somewhat successful at it. I disconnected myself and I am doing okay. But, I'm not "succeeding." Most cannot just ignore others otherwise they will find themselves isolated, alone, lonely, and broke.
 
You see, happiness is also a cultural manifestation, for us, westerns, we are forced to be like a living mcdonalds propaganda in order to be called happy persons, and if you are not, you are a failure and need some help, is in our culture and (sorry if this is too extreme) in our genes

While in the east, the number one way of living is peace, just peace, not happy not sad, those feelings are considered ephemeral, peace is the only thing that matters, while you have it, nothing is wroing with you

is a ***** that we can just say "ok so im at peace now, no problem" and calle it a day, but with time you may get to value it more than superfitial happiness
 
Peace is boring! Give me the sex, drugs, and Rock N Roll. Well, unless you are talking about MJ:
[img=100x180]http://img.auctiva.com/imgdata/1/5/0/6/6/0/4/webimg/484894715_o.jpg[/img]
Peace is fine for poor people and others who have very little. But, after all of your basic needs are met you need more. That's where happiness comes in. Maybe life needs to be more difficult in the US so we can appreciate being able to eat every day and have basic necessities.
 

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