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average "poem"
#1
Hello everyone, I joined this forum because I was hoping to find a niche of some sort for my type of personality and this seems to be a great place Smile. I thought I'd share a "poem" that I wrote so that I might get constructive criticism to improve upon with on later poems or song lyrics


You need not feel sorry, they said

“You’re gifted situations of dread
Flickerings inside here and there

And declining states completely bared”

But it need not be, they say
“You’ll get by if you keep spirits high
And don’t scream and shout
Of things you know nothing about”

My movements seem fragile
I feel that I may unravel
But although I’m not on solid ground
Perhaps someday I’ll be found

You need not feel helpless, they said
"Just be brave and blend into the rest
You don’t want to be like this on down
And see yourself unexpressed"

“Don’t be so angry, stay in your place
Just fall in line, and don’t ask questions”
But I’m not half what I wish to be
Is this ultimately a mere sad story?

My movements seem fragile
I feel that I may unravel
But although I’m not on solid ground
Perhaps someday I’ll be found
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#2
That is beautiful🤗😺🐱
[Image: tenor.gif]
Reply
#3
I'll take that as a genuine compliment, however constructive criticism is also welcome Smile
Reply


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