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SlimShady

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Has anyone else gone through a stage in which every girl you talk to for awhile and find attractive you immediatly obsess about what a relationship would look like with them? Its really starting to bug me. I just want to be able to have female friends:( is something wrong with me?
 
Since the opposite sex is never the active party, it's very easy for a man to get infatuated with anyone who gives him time of day. Takes a certain amount of experience to distinguish friendliness from romantic interest. To state the obvious , you're living out these fantasy relationships as kind of proxy for the real thing.

Eventually things change. Crushes become a serious threat to your mental health as you age. The mind goes into a kind of self-preservation mode. Assuming you're not just a late bloomer eventually you'll get to that point where it become less frequent, less intense. My only advice is to develop more friendships with women and get used to being around them as acquaintances and friends.
 
ardour said:
Since the opposite sex is never the active party, it's very easy for a man to get infatuated with anyone who gives him time of day. Takes a certain amount of experience to distinguish friendliness from romantic interest. To state the obvious , you're living out these fantasy relationships as kind of proxy for the real thing.

Eventually things change. Crushes become a serious threat to your mental health as you age. The mind goes into a kind of self-preservation mode. Assuming you're not just a late bloomer eventually you'll get to that point where it become less frequent, less intense. My only advice is to develop more friendships with women and get used to being around them as acquaintances and friends.

Im still in school, learning the ropes of relationships haha. Thanks! Im a class clown outgoing person so i do get a lot of attention from people. As you said my trouble lies in distinguishing friendliness from romantic interest. I've messed up several friendships because of changing how i act around the person becst ause i overthink things...i just wish women were more straightforward with ther feelings!! Ugh!
 
ardour said:
Since the opposite sex is never the active party


Generalize much? :club:

I think it's pretty common for young guys to have trouble distinguishing because of...well, puberty.  You're still learning everything and how it all works (not physically. lol) and etc etc.  You'll get to where you can tell the difference...and there could always be times you just don't know.  Some women are notorious flirts, so it's difficult to tell.  And that happens well into adulthood.  
The girls are also still learning.  Not all of them know the ins and outs and what to do and what not to do, so it will take them a while too.  Just try to remember that girls aren't much different from men in most ways.  We are all traveling along trying to figure things out.  Also remember that most of what you are feeling is likely just lust.  Try to ignore that part and just get to know them.  It will pass.  And if it doesn't, ask them out.
 

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