Why life is so hard and bad?

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Iontu

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Nothing good happenned to me for a long time. I basicly consider my life over, as I had bad luck almost all life. It's hard to see other children my age living their lives, and I staying single, sad, and full of bad luck. It's hard to see others with boy/girlfriends and I never had a partener, and fearing that I will stay single all my life. Also, I have 2 exams in June, which grades decide where I'll go to HS(Kind of, but based on grades, hard to explain), but I don't know almost nothing, and it's hard to learn. I don't have motivation for anything, just for phone, as this is the last thing which make me happy(and even sometimes i'm becoming sad on it). I had hope before, but that hope is going fast. I think the future will be as bad as now, even horrible. I was forgotten even by known people.i feel like trash, like nothing, like no one wants me nearby. I want this to end. I feel like others are privilleged, and I have just bad luck. 14M
 
I'm sorry you are having such a rough time. Middle school and high school are hard, even for a lot of those that you wouldn't think.
Do you have any hobbies? Are there any clubs you could join? I know you think you've had bad luck and you didn't go into much detail, but you are young and it can get better. Everyone hates when this gets said, but you have have to put yourself out there and you have to try to overcome the negative vibe you are likely sending out because that pushes people away.
As for the exams, have you considered getting a tutor or asking your teacher for help?
 
TheRealCallie said:
I'm sorry you are having such a rough time.  Middle school and high school are hard, even for a lot of those that you wouldn't think. 
Do you have any hobbies?  Are there any clubs you could join?  I know you think you've had bad luck and you didn't go into much detail, but you are young and it can get better.  Everyone hates when this gets said, but you have have to put yourself out there and you have to try to overcome the negative vibe you are likely sending out because that pushes people away.
As for the exams, have you considered getting a tutor or asking your teacher for help?
In a little city there is nothing beside going outside. Also, at the exams, basicly you have to learn the subject from4 grades. I have a tutor at math, fortunately
 
I know all about small towns. I grew up in one myself, so I know the struggle. I don't know where you live, but if you're in America, you'll be getting your license in a few years and that will help you branch out a little more. I don't know how driving works in other countries. It's good you have a tutor in math. If you need help in other subjects, there are chat rooms and websites you can go to and get help. Since you like your phone and the internet, that might work out well for you. Though, I would recommend trying to do everything in person with people where you are because that will help you get yourself out there.

What about sports? Do you have any interest in those? Does your school offer them?
 
TheRealCallie said:
I know all about small towns.  I grew up in one myself, so I know the struggle.  I don't know where you live, but if you're in America, you'll be getting your license in a few years and that will help you branch out a little more.  I don't know how driving works in other countries.  It's good you have a tutor in math.  If you need help in other subjects, there are chat rooms and websites you can go to and get help.  Since you like your phone and the internet, that might work out well for you.  Though, I would recommend trying to do everything in person with people where you are because that will help you get yourself out there.

What about sports?  Do you have any interest in those?  Does your school offer them?
It's different here in Romania. Also, I haven't interrest in sports, as I never know a sport(even football)
 
"I basicly consider my life over, as I had bad luck almost all life."

Unless you're planning to commit suicide soon, have an accident, or are inflicted with a terminal disease, you're only in the early stage of life - being so young, with so much ahead of you.  To judge the destiny of your next 50+ years based upon the past 15 or so years is entirely unwarranted.  Let me explain, based upon my own life experiences.

Middle School was tough for me too, with few friends, struggles with learning, and bullies to fear.  High School was entirely different though, with a new environment, good friends, fun times, and easier learning.  First year of college was tough again, with me moving to a big city and struggling with classes, uncomfortable roommate situations, and loneliness - to the point of being put on probation and nearly dropping out.  A new dorm the next year though changed everything.  I learned how to study right, made some great friends, and enjoyed the best social time of my life for the next 3 years.  My 35 year work career followed the same up and down path, with 6 locations each giving me completely different environments, relationships, and experiences.  In all, I can look back and see that my life has gone through 9 eras, with each one offering unique, interesting living experiences - some good and some bad. 
 
So, while TheRealCallie tries to suggest ways to help you through the present, I wish to change your perspective for the future.  Your past or present struggles are NOT a prediction for the future unless you choose to embrace them.  When you get into High School, the new environment and people will provide an opportunity for things to change.  And since High School can also be tough these days for kids, don't judge your entire life on that short phase of your life either.  You've got many eras of life to pursue, with new places, changing environments, and interesting experiences to look forward to.

Through easy or hard times, your identity, self worth, purpose, and success in life should not be determined by your circumstances.  Consider that there are numerous rich, famous, attractive people around that are miserable failures in life - with many becoming drug addicts, alcoholics, and suicide victims.  At the same time there are poor, simple, unattractive people who have made incredible lives for themselves or others - people with peace, joy, and love enriching their lives.  Both types can be found in any nation, I assume even in yours, so the outcome must be tied to one's beliefs, values, and mind set, not location or inherited privileges.

"I feel like trash, like nothing, like no one wants me nearby. I want this to end. I feel like others are privileged, and I have just bad luck."

Iontu, I sympathise with your stated feeling and problems, but I don't think resolving all of these current issues will straighten out your life. You see, you're going to have various problems throughout your whole life.  And though our mindset and choices can certainly help minimize these problems, its ultimately our character, and God's guidance if we allow it, that helps us through them.  Understand that life is a process of you going through experiences that shape your character, and God's more interested in your character than your comfort. So what do you do?

First, I'd suggest you realize that your self worth and infinite value comes from God and his love for you, not from others.  Here's a song to remind you of that.



[size=small]Second, I'd suggest you pray daily for God to change your heart, your mind, and your attitude.  Although he does steer us around many of life's challenges when we ask, he also helps us walk through and face them, which strengthens us in many ways.  Here's a real nice song to help you with that - worth hearing through a good set of headphones.


[size=small]
 
Soon your life will be totally in your own control. You have so much knowledge available at your finger tips. You will be able to accomplish much of whatever you want to do with your life within reason. I'm old now and well established. But, I'll gladly trade places with you knowing what I know now.
 
Now, I think i have bad luck. Basicly, when something good happens to me, something bad will happen later. Also, I feel like others have better luck then me, like theya are priviledged
 
Iontu said:
Now, I think i have bad luck. Basicly, when something good happens to me, something bad will happen later. Also, I feel like others have better luck then me, like theya are priviledged

There definitely are privileged people. Make no mistake about that. There seems to be some people where everything just works for them no matter what they do or the dumb decisions they make. They must have made a deal with the devil. But, most people have good and bad times. Some, the well likely and attractive, definitely have it much easier as do wealthy people. For the less fortunate people life is much tougher. That's just how it is. Try not to compare yourself to others. This is your life. A smart old black man who had life kick the honeysuckle out of him once told me that you have to know your place and work within it. It's basically the same as, "knowing thyself." If you continually get honeysuckle on in some arena then switch to another arena until you find something that works with you. Some people remain in a job, an area, a relationship, etc, etc, etc that works against them. It becomes a real drain for them. You're still young so keep that in mind so it doesn't happen to you.
 
Some of those wealthy people started out poor and had life kick the honeysuckle out of them before they became wealthy.

Honestly, it doesn't matter what other people do and don't have. You can compare yourself to others day in and day out, but fact of the matter is, you are in charge of your life. Your decisions and choices shape who you will be and what path your life will take. Stop worrying so much about other people and start focusing on what you can do for yourself to get you where you want to be. Stop looking at it as bad luck and start seeing them as the lessons they are. Learn from whatever happens and find the way to get back where you want to be.
 
TheRealCallie said:
You can compare yourself to others day in and day out, but fact of the matter is, you are in charge of your life. 

Not as much as you think. But, the more affluent one becomes the more in charge of their own life they become. Government dictates much of how we must behave and the actions we must take. Then our bosses, co-workers, neighbors, and family dictates even more. However, most can usually eat whatever they want as long as it's government approved, available, and one has the money to buy it. The only time you are really in charge of you of life is when you blow off all the rules, regulations, and conditions by stepping outside of the game. But, then it's just a matter of time before your life is totally controlled or ended. Real freedom is a pipe dream.
 
TheRealCallie said:
Some of those wealthy people started out poor and had life kick the honeysuckle out of them before they became wealthy. 

Honestly, it doesn't matter what other people do and don't have.  You can compare yourself to others day in and day out, but fact of the matter is, you are in charge of your life.  Your decisions and choices shape who you will be and what path your life will take.  Stop worrying so much about other people and start focusing on what you can do for yourself to get you where you want to be.  Stop looking at it as bad luck and start seeing them as the lessons they are.  Learn from whatever happens and find the way to get back where you want to be.

I really like this outlook, as I'm big on accountability.  Certainly, people can be faced with daunting circumstances beyond their control.  But I'd hate to think I wasn't doing everything I possibly could to defy such circumstances.
 
yea. but sometimes even if all your basic needs are met, you can still make life harder for yourself.

like Paris Hilton for example, she's a very rich person but did you know she tried to commit suicide? a lot of the younger generation take their life for granted and all they see in life is the rain no sunshine. I'm like that sometimes.
 
^ That's true. It's really hard to see "successful" people take their own lives. It's like WTF! You got to where all of the rest of us are trying to get to. If it still sucks then why bother!
 

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