A life so serious

I feel like I stopped growing up (mentally) in my 20s. But life, and everyone else, carried on on.

Is it just me or does everything seem to get more serious as time goes on? I'm not depressed, or sad, I'm in my mid 30s, I have a decent job, home, car and partner. Yet I would jump at the chance to go back to my 20s. Everything seemed completely different back then, less complication, more social and less seriousness and stress. Perhaps this is psychological, and that I'm very nostalgic. But a lot of things now simply remind me of how great life was "back then". Weather it's a bit in a movie I'm watching, something that someone says, music I listen to, or the littlest inanimate thing.

The thing is I think that this mentality is holding me back, and I don't feel as though I belong in these times. Everything feels hard work and over complicated. From setting up council tax, to selling something on eBay, to booking a doctors appointment.. and many other mundane things anyone else wouldn't have a problem with. I just find myself having very minimal patience for.

This is probably comes across as cliche but everyone else I knew in my life from "back in the day" has moved on and done other things with their life, mostly got married, have a family, or a career and grew up. I just don't see anyone at the moment, sure I have friends but 99% are wrapped up in their own stuff. It's "just one of those things" that happens as you grow up but I can't ever imagine myself getting married at all, let alone having kids.

In fact I often think how I wouldn't want to bring a child up in these times. I think it's harder than ever to keep your kid on the straight and narrow and to mostly make the right choices in life. There's stimuli everywhere you go, everyone just stares at their phones even if it's for a second or two. I feel as though it's conditioning people and even something that gets passed down that shows in ways like ADD and hyperactivity. We live in a world where eating healthy costs more than junk food, in fact I've heard people say they don't have time to eat healthily. People are working longer hours now than ever, in fact my partner works 14 hour shifts for the NHS. And don't even get me started on the retirement age.

If you earn a bit of money there's always someone waiting to take it. There's a scammer around every corner and nobody does anything for free. Even when you watch shows like Dragons Den people go on with genuinely good ideas or intentions and they get shot down if they can't go global with it or if it's not single use for profit. There's so much focus on money nowadays that it makes people feel miserable not to have it, but don't worry there's plenty of credit to go around.

This post wasn't meant to be a rant or full of misery, but for some of the good you see around you I think it's more or a hassle than ever to live in these times. It's no wonder I'd go back if I could. Maybe I was ignorant back then but I never thought about these issues, but to be fair a lot weren't there. There certainly wasn't as much misinformation back then. Things like that have exploded in recent times, and I believe people where more genuine too. Everyone takes everyone else so serious all the time, you cannot be humorous, or god forbid say something in an angry manner. People complaining about stupid things and people like the government listen causing a knock-on effect so now it's like we've entered into a complaint culture.

I'm wondering if it's just me that's developed a negative view of the world, or if others feel the same. I've often thought I've become more like Victor Meldrew as I've got older, or maybe it's just because life has become more serious as time goes on.

^ No. You are thinking clearly. Things are more difficult to accomplish, even small tasks.

For example, I'm a veteran. I just found out that all veterans can now get a free annual national park pass. I was pretty happy about hearing that since I frequent them. I figured I could just go to any national park headquarters, show my DD-214 form, my valid driver's license, and get a card. That's they way things would have worked in the past. But, not any more. Nothing is considered valid unless some third party company says it is.

But, now I have to either register with Id.me, or another government site. I have to give them my drivers license information, SSN, DOB, Phone Number, Email Address, Home Address, and then it all gets verified just in order to be able to get login information for another government system in order to upload my DD-214. BTW, Id.me, really seems to be a scam. So, that only leaves that government site.

Then the DD-214 has to get verified, blaaa, blaaa, blaaa. However, my identification can't be verified because I locked my account on all the credit reporting agencies since I don't use credit for anything and the veteran's administration has already had several databases hacked including one with some of my information in it.

I called the VA benefits office and spoke to a real person. She was mainly interested in getting my information entered into the database she uses. I wouldn't do it though. They don't need that. Anyway, even without Covid I can't just show up in person with my DD-214 and get a pass.

She did say I could get a new travel ID and get a veteran endorsement on that, which would require giving DMV all my information as well. Oh yeah, I need certified copies, which I don't have. So, I would have to apply for those as well. Ha! ha! But, I'm not going to do that. Besides you have to setup an appointment with DMV. But I called their number just for fun. I tried four times. I never got through. It just kept saying to call back after going through all the stupid menus. Then it would disconnect the phone.

But, if I did get a new travel ID. Then I could go in person to select national park offices and get a free annual park pass, in theory, if they have any in stock. Now, that wasn't so complicated was it? fresia all that crap! That's completely stupid! I'd rather pay the $80 for the annual pass in order to keep my information safe. Better yet, I just won't go to the **** national parks any more! Thanks for another benefit that I can't use.

It's kind of what I'm talking about. There's so many hoops you gotta jump through to accomplish something that should be so simple. And I know that when it comes to certain benefits and entitlements it's just a hassle.

I remember trying to mail a parcel out a few months ago, I had to weigh it, and print the delivery details out via eBay to stick on the parcel. I didn't have a printer so I had to go elsewhere to print it out. I done all that got to the post office and they wouldn't take it because there was a discrepancy between the weights. They told me that Royal Mail office might be able to rectify it but they couldn't. So I then go all the way to the main Royal Mail office responsible for the entire town, waited for at least 45 minutes to be told they couldn't rectify it, they told me to print another one with the corrected weight. I asked them if they knew how amend the weight and reprint the same one so I didn't have to pay again and they basically said they didn't know.

Furious, I went to go home to look into it when I decided to swing by the main post office just for advice. I explained everything to them and they simply amended it there and then! I paid a little extra because of the weight discrepancy, she stuck something to the parcel then it was done. Why the hell couldn't they do that at the first hurdle?? Why was it so complicated just to mail something?

That was a frustrating morning, lol.

Ha! Ha! ****! That story sounds so familiar. I stopped selling crap on Ebay because things just got too **** complicated and with Ebay and Paypal fees it's just not worth it any more. So, now I just toss things into the garbage can. Hopefully I won't live long enough to be required to complete an online form, with full identification validation, in order to put stuff into the trash. I'm sure it's coming though. You'll need to write an explanation of why you are tossing out a reusable item. It'll have to be read by a third party company hired by the government, before approval, for a fee of course. Ha! ha!

Tell me about it! I got ripped off because I didn't read up before hand. But to be fair I never thought they'd charge 10% on each item, it's complete greed. And the worst thing I find is that they wait until the end of the month to charge you the "Final Selling Fees" so you got to pay it all in one lump sum.. and you get no notification until they're ready to take it. It's just not worth selling anything of decent value on eBay because they take as much as they can get.

I was thinking of selling some stuff on Ebay, now I'm not so sure. Try shipping internationally with UPS, it is so frustrating when you want one simple question answered and you keep getting transferred to someone who can help you...and they were the one you were transferred into the first place to help you. Then you get stuck on hold with a wait time of up to 8 minutes or more.

^ Blaaaaaaaaa. The original Ebay was GREAT! It was simply, clean, and easy to use. I loved it! I sold a ton of crap through it. I was shocked at how easily I was making money. I started putting in my seller adds that I do NOT ship internationally. Then Ebay, a few years ago, changed their policies to make it easier to ship internationally. Someone from another country ignored what I clearly wrote in my add and bought my item any way. I wouldn't send it to them. I then re-listed the item. The buyer complained. Ebay killed my new add without contacting me, they kept the fees, and the buyer was able to leave me negative feedback. I wanted to scream!

So, after a VERY long and frustrating process I finally got a person to read my add. They said, "Oh, well, our policies have changed. You have to unselect your willingness to ship internationally in your seller profile. I got my fees back. But, the negative feedback remained.

Ebay continually "updates" their policies which can make major changes to how buyers and sellers interact. You might think you are all good to go and then you get screwed because you didn't read the 32 pages of updated information and/or didn't understand it.

I've also gotten screwed as a buyer. Ebay will side with high volume sellers a lot of the time. If you as the buyer received just about anything and it has a tracking number then the seller performed their part of the deal. A few times I received stuff valued at significantly less then what the add was for. Ebay said it was close enough even though I showed them the difference in my response.

One even involved a mail carrier who was selling fake stuff via Ebay and sending it through USPS. That is mail fraud. I called the post master that was in charge of the area he worked. He didn't seem to care. So, I sent him a package which contained all the information to prove he was knowingly committing fraud. I called the post master again. He told me it wasn't my concern. I informed him that I was recording the conversation and will be sending it to the federal Internet Crimes Division for prosecution and including his remarks about the case. I sent it to them. But, I never heard another word about it. I'm sure it was a protect your own policy hard at work.

I would LOVE to have a real alternative to Ebay. But there isn't one. I was using AliExpress for awhile. I was receiving my packages within a month as described. Then Covid hit. AliExpress no longer processed payments via California, USA. Instead they switched to Great Britain. My credit / debit card companies refuse to process the payments unless I call up ahead of time and remove the block for up to three days. Also, AliExpress shipping became over two months long. So, I haven't used them since February.

The small volume sellers usual get Fd by Ebay because it's all about how much money you are or are not making them. So, if you do want to try selling stuff good luck!

I never sold anything internationally, but I had people messaging me asking if I would... along with ludacris counter offers. So something worth say £800 they'd offer £200.

Selling on eBay is so easy, but I find the financial part of it less transparent. All the information if there, but it's fragmented.

Finished said:

I would LOVE to have a real alternative to Ebay. But there isn't one. I was using AliExpress for awhile. I was receiving my packages within a month as described. Then Covid hit. AliExpress no longer processed payments via California, USA. Instead they switched to Great Britain. My credit / debit card companies refuse to process the payments unless I call up ahead of time and remove the block for up to three days. Also, AliExpress shipping became over two months long. So, I haven't used them since February.

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In terms of selling I don't think there's other platforms on par with eBay. But things like Facebook marketplace (although I don't have FB) and Craiglist are free. There's bound to be other platforms that doesn't rip you off as much, too.

I searched a few times. Nobody has the traffic that Ebay does. I still sell big ticket items on Craigslist. But, it can take awhile to find the right person and you have to deal with a lot of scum bags.

I have a similar history with Ebay - the early days were fantastic and I could not believe the money that I made selling things that I no longer wanted. Other people must have wanted it, because a few things even started bidding wars. Waking up to something that I had listed for $50 selling for $800 was quite the shock. But that only happened once.

Then I took a long break and returned to Ebay a year or so ago and found that myself fettered with so many fees that the old profits became whittled down to almost nothing - they even went negative in a few cases. The effort no longer seemed worth it. I still have things that I would like to sell, but I now find Ebay so deflating that I don't want to go near it. It's too bad. The internet also used to be a much more enjoyable, free and open place. But I knew that wouldn't last, either.

^ Yep! I used to be part of the freeware community. A bunch of programmers would collaborate on things that interested people. The product as well as the source code was freely shared. Others would then improve on it. It was great. The end products worked really well. Then people started hoarding the projects. Then they became shareware. Then they became products to only be sold. Now a lot of the software is crap and doesn't work properly because very few people are working on it with different platforms.

BTW, my Sprint 3G service, until they cancelled it without notice, was faster then the 4G LTE that I now have. Real 4G is fast but it was expensive to implement. So, instead, 4G LTE was creasted. But, the speed can be really slow. The providers quotes speeds up to. Not down to. And they don't quote minimum average speeds. They created a ranking system. So, some people get fast 4G LTE and some get nearly useless 4G. But, pay less. The service providers wont talk about that unless you really pressure them.

Everything is a **** fraud now.

I'm so exhausted I can't even add to any of all that; but, I agree, and think it all sucks too!!! lol

If any of you haven't seen the movie, 'Idiocracy,' I highly suggest you check it out; you will get a laugh and feel vindicated... As for me, I first saw it over a decade ago, and that makes me sad. I will be spending the rest of the night tending to my sadness...

^ Thanks for the suggestion. I don't think I've seen it.

I've been trying to pull money out of my retirement account for over four months. I've done all the steps needed several times. But, they keep emailing me, "Unfortunately we are unable to process your request at this time." So, I keep calling. Every time I have to give them all my private information to verify it's me. One time they miss understood what I said and locked me account. Then they sent me an ID verification from in the mail. WTF! I called again and that person verified all my information again and said it was not needed. That person suggested I set up a personal phone security information so I don't have to go through the entire verification process every time. I did that and was relieved. However, all that did was add an additional step after asking all the other ID verification steps. Unbelievable!

Every time I call the person on the line says, "You submitted everything we need. I'll send it to processing again." I asked if I needed to take them to court in order to get my money. They are acting like they are broke. It definitely seems like they are hiding something. I'm about ready to go down to the office and take out my decades of frustrations on them. Oh wait. Nobodies in the office any more. How nice. What a great system.