Which type of relationship is most special, a straight one or a gay one?

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AnonymousMe

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It’s just something that I wondered yesterday.  I consider myself Heteroflexible (which is like being 90% straight and 10% gay) and I’ve never had a girlfriend/boyfriend, so I consider them both special, but looking at the big picture, which one is more unique?

Gay ones are strange, because they’re simple and difficult at the same time.  You are dating someone of your own gender after all, so you know what to expect in terms of personality and physicality.  However, getting into one is no easy task, it’s like finding a needle in a haystack or winning the lottery; being in one is like winning in a game of luck.
Straight ones are, overall, more complex, because you’re dating the opposite gender, so it can be difficult to read between the lines of what your partner wants.  However, the experiences can be very rewarding, each one experiences things that only the opposite sex can offer.  The thing is, straight relationships are WAY more common, to the point where it is debatable as to if they should consider themselves fortunate of being in one in the first place.

This is just what I think, each one has their pros and cons, so I don’t think any one is above the other, unless if they’re under more exceptional circumstances (polyamory, for instance), but I just want to see what you all think?  Is one more special than the other or am I just full of honeysuckle for thinking about this?
 
Well, most guys are aholes. Even if I was attracted to guys I wouldn't want to deal with them. But, I'm also not a big alfa type guy either. I'm nice was nice to everybody. I've had several gay guys pursue me. Well, until I told that to back off! But, I haven't had any women pursue me. I just don't really like anything about guys. I do however, like women, well except when they are in the crazy zone. Ha! Ha! Two women together makes total sense to me. But, two guys don't. I try to have an open mind. I thought I could date a post op transsexual guy that acted and looked like a women. But, in the end that's pretty much just a woman. So, no to guys. Ha! ha!
 
A relationship is a relationship; I'd bet money on those odds. I contemplated, briefly, the prospect of a same sex relationship once, and within about 5 minutes or so, concluded it wouldn't be any different than any other relationship. Except for me, I greatly admire the female figure; so, I didn't really explore it any further.

Love is love. And it's always going to hurt, at some point..
 
Fundamentally they are the same. Some people have experience with both, most with just one, and some with neither. Being in that last category, I can assure you that my opinion is most trustworthy. :) Well, it's based on observing others over a long time, and all relationships I've seen "look" and "feel" the same to me, no matter what the genders.
 
AnonymousMe said:
o I consider them both special, but looking at the big picture, which one is more unique?

What do you mean by unique and how do you define special?

Gay ones are strange, because they’re simple and difficult at the same time.  You are dating someone of your own gender after all, so you know what to expect in terms of personality and physicality.

"Know what to expect in terms of physicality": Well you know that in a straight relationship too. It's not like your partner suddenly looks different after a month or after 10 years, 20 years. It's just their same body again and again, year after year. It's also not ike they're that likely to have something extremely rare about their naked body that you would not at all have expected compared to the other naked bodies you've seen.
"What to expect in terms of personality": I don't think you can generalise all men as having the same type of personality or all women as having the same type of personality. I'd just expect every individual to be  different. Of course, I believe for some people gender roles can serve a purpose in relationships. Like I had a boyfriend tell me all the time that I needed to understand that he's the man. That when we disagree about something that I must let him have the last word. Because he's the man. That's just how it is. There was a bunch of traditionally female tasks he wanted me to do, but it makes no sense to me because I don't want to spend my time that way and it wasn't like he was doing anything in return. To me it made no sense but when I thought about it, it can make sense. It can help to make a relationship, especially a bad one, appear more harmonious when both people know their place and roles. I think this is especially true for arranged marriages where 2 incompatible people come together. If they both know what is expected from them, what their role is, what their tasks are, what to expect from the other person, what their place is, then it's a way to reduce conflict.


 
However, getting into one is no easy task, it’s like finding a needle in a haystack or winning the lottery;
I've seen more gay couples in my life than lottery winners. There are less potential partners available but with apps like grindr and gay bars it shouldn't be impossible.


 
However, the experiences can be very rewarding, each one experiences things that only the opposite sex can offer. 
hmm I cannot think of anything, except straight sex, that only a man can offer me.
But looking at it from the gender stereotyping way you're looking at it: gay people don't crave what only the opposite gender can offer them in terms of gender role. They crave what they can get from the same gender.  Why should that be any more or less rewarding.

The thing is, straight relationships are WAY more common, to the point where it is debatable as to if they should consider themselves fortunate of being in one in the first place.
yeah in some cases I think they're quite unfortunate. They think they should do all that stuff like marrying, making babies etc. without questioning if they truly want that, or if they're just following the herd. Many gay people end up that way too. They get into straight marriages because they haven't even figured out that's not what they want. Years later they admit to themselves they're not even straight. People just do what they think they're expected from society to do.
 
Myra said:
Like I had a boyfriend tell me all the time that I needed to understand that he's the man. That when we disagree about something that I must let him have the last word. Because he's the man. That's just how it is. There was a bunch of traditionally female tasks he wanted me to do, but it makes no sense to me because I don't want to spend my time that way and it wasn't like he was doing anything in return.

What an oaf.  I hope his "last word" came as you were walking out the door.
 
The most special relationship is the one that has honesty, communication and trust. Doesn't matter if you are two guys, two girls or two donkeys. If you don't have those three things, you're essentially screwed. Love is also important, obviously, but love doesn't conquer all.
 
What is important is the person, not the gender. If it cares about you, I think is important
 
I've seen both types work and both types fail. Every circumstance came down to the people involved.
 
A relationship is special depending upon the feelings and loyalty between two people.  Doesn't matter what configuration it is.
 
I wonder, based on what you all responded, if I'm still too inexperienced with the world of if I'm ignoring what's round me or if the place I live in is different from the ones you're all in or if my loneliness has made me view everything differently.  Whatever it is, I hope I'm not f*cked up in the head, it's just something that I thought it was worth asking; my apologies if I wasted your time people.

Myra said:
What do you mean by unique and how do you define special?

I don't know at this point, it's just me and my stupid, autistic thoughts.
 
AnonymousMe said:
I wonder, based on what you all responded, if I'm still too inexperienced with the world of if I'm ignoring what's round me or if the place I live in is different from the ones you're all in or if my loneliness has made me view everything differently.  Whatever it is, I hope I'm not f*cked up in the head, it's just something that I thought it was worth asking; my apologies if I wasted your time people.

Myra said:
What do you mean by unique and how do you define special?

I don't know at this point, it's just me and my stupid, autistic thoughts.

If you gained something from what everyone responded, it's not a waste of time. 

And your thoughts aren't stupid :club:
 
AnonymousMe said:
I wonder, based on what you all responded, if I'm still too inexperienced with the world of if I'm ignoring what's round me or if the place I live in is different from the ones you're all in or if my loneliness has made me view everything differently.  Whatever it is, I hope I'm not f*cked up in the head, it's just something that I thought it was worth asking; my apologies if I wasted your time people.

Myra said:
What do you mean by unique and how do you define special?

I don't know at this point, it's just me and my stupid, autistic thoughts.
You didn't waste anyone's time and I'm sure the people who responded, myself included, enjoyed this interaction and felt interested in replying otherwise we wouldn't have done it.
 
It's a very interesting question, although it probably doesn't have an answer.

I'm a happily married straight guy, but I've often wondered what a gay relationship would be like. If anything it sounds a bit easier! Opposite sexes seem to be on different wavelengths on quite a few things, I wonder if same-sex couple are able to communicate and understand each other more easily.

Either way I think same-sex relationships are a great thing, both in themselves and for society.
 

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