So, I'm writing this post because a friend of who is not really rewarded well in his life. I am a friend of his, who is trying to help him. But I couldn't find any solution. First I am going to explain his situation, so he is a teenager at college and he has always dreamed of a gaming setup, even something that is not much expensive to buy, he tries to get a deal with his parents, but his parents are kind of ignoring what he wants. He has been waiting for so long, like 4-5 years. He has good grades at school, he is always doing good and whatever his parents say he does it. He waited holidays or Christmas or his birthday. But he didn't get nothing back in return... His parents always have excuses (not about money for sure but I didn't ask him) like "Their is time for everything" even I think he waited so long. Now he is not in a good mood, he thinks he never gets what he wants because, also, his parents is always doing false promises like "we are going to get you that" but like 2-3 months later he gets a "you can't get it finally" or like I said before, he hasn't done something wrong. Now I feel bad for him. He just wants to leave this world(if you know what I mean) because of not getting anything after those years of trying, he is not enjoying life anymore... We had a long discussion about it and still no solution. Then this is why I write this post, I want to get advices from you. Should he fight back about this ? What should I do to help him ? Should he leave the world (I don't want that by the way) ? I am asking what do you think about what should he do. Anyone that answers this thanks in advance
Not being rewarded well...
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Abstamyous
Well-known member
It's hard for parents to see the value in things, such as gaming setups, because they don't directly belong in the necessity category. Yes, they are nice to have. But a parent is going to see a million other things they wish they could do for their children, and the gaming setup will probably not be on that list.
Should he leave the world over it? No.
The thing about rewards in life, is we never know what they are until we receive them..and we don't get to decide what they are. By placing that amount of expectation on something, a person is already guaranteeing their own disappointment.
However, if it is of value to your friend, they can choose to start working towards it themselves. If it's not overly expensive, there is no reason your friend can't do the work to get the cash to make that purchase themselves. And it's likely they will feel more rewarded by their own independence.
Should he leave the world over it? No.
The thing about rewards in life, is we never know what they are until we receive them..and we don't get to decide what they are. By placing that amount of expectation on something, a person is already guaranteeing their own disappointment.
However, if it is of value to your friend, they can choose to start working towards it themselves. If it's not overly expensive, there is no reason your friend can't do the work to get the cash to make that purchase themselves. And it's likely they will feel more rewarded by their own independence.
TheRealCallie
Princess Pink Love
I agree, if it's that important to him, he should stop expecting someone to get it for him and start working towards getting it himself. He could offer to do little jobs for people for money or even get a job on weekends or something.
Wanting something doesn't always mean you will get it. My advice for you would be to redirect his focus away from getting something for free. There are so many things in life that are worth living for. Help him find those things.
Wanting something doesn't always mean you will get it. My advice for you would be to redirect his focus away from getting something for free. There are so many things in life that are worth living for. Help him find those things.
Just have SAFE sex with him and he'll forget all about the **** gaming system. He'll find an entirely new reason for living. Just ask all the older virgin gamers on this site.
ringwood
Well-known member
Finished said:
Can always count on you, Finished, to give great advice!
TheSkaFish
Jedi Guardian
He should definitely NOT "leave this world" over something like not getting a gaming system. Life is (hopefully) long, but gaming systems only stay current for a few years. It's likely that it won't be the best gaming system your friend will ever experience. It would be unwise, and tragic, to throw away your life - everything - over something so temporary.
I don't think he should fight about it either.
I think he's assuming a false correlation between doing everything you're asked to do, and getting something - which I know is frustrating and confusing when you see everyone else around you just getting stuff for having good grades, or for no reason at all. It makes you think that's how it works, and it makes you wonder why what works for them, doesn't work for you. It was kind of like that for me growing up too - it wasn't bad, but a lot of people around me seemed to be a little bit ahead of me, further ahead than I could catch up by working. Things seemed to come to them more easily. But there just wasn't anything I could do except forget it and wait until I could make things happen myself. I think it's best if he just tries to ignore the people that seem to be playing life on "easy mode" - easier said than done, and easier said looking back, than from the point of view of being a teenager. I know things look differently at that age. But I can't think of anything else.
Sometimes all you can do, is either work, or wait. And if it's been 4 or 5 years I don't think waiting will help either.
If it's really important to him but not that much money, like you were saying, he should work and get it himself.
If it's more money than he could earn and save on his own, then there's nothing he can do except wait until he can make enough money.
Have his parents totally forbidden him from getting the system, even if he works and buys it himself? That can happen sometimes too, which is frustrating. But still not something worth "leaving the world" over.
I don't think he should fight about it either.
I think he's assuming a false correlation between doing everything you're asked to do, and getting something - which I know is frustrating and confusing when you see everyone else around you just getting stuff for having good grades, or for no reason at all. It makes you think that's how it works, and it makes you wonder why what works for them, doesn't work for you. It was kind of like that for me growing up too - it wasn't bad, but a lot of people around me seemed to be a little bit ahead of me, further ahead than I could catch up by working. Things seemed to come to them more easily. But there just wasn't anything I could do except forget it and wait until I could make things happen myself. I think it's best if he just tries to ignore the people that seem to be playing life on "easy mode" - easier said than done, and easier said looking back, than from the point of view of being a teenager. I know things look differently at that age. But I can't think of anything else.
Sometimes all you can do, is either work, or wait. And if it's been 4 or 5 years I don't think waiting will help either.
If it's really important to him but not that much money, like you were saying, he should work and get it himself.
If it's more money than he could earn and save on his own, then there's nothing he can do except wait until he can make enough money.
Have his parents totally forbidden him from getting the system, even if he works and buys it himself? That can happen sometimes too, which is frustrating. But still not something worth "leaving the world" over.
ringwood said:Finished said:
Can always count on you, Finished, to give great advice!
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