I
Invisibleguy
Guest
I've always struggled with loneliness and getting lost in the background; it's always been a part of me for as long as I can remember. Even when I was in middle school, I remember just feeling lost but I had a quite few friends but I became a full blown loner when my parents moved to a different town and started high school.
After high school, I had an absurd idea to leave the whole country for higher education and to "reinvent" myself and it failed horribly. Even when I moved, I was still the same. I just failed miserably and ended spending majority of my time in my bedroom gaming, eagerly waiting for the years to go by so I can go back and live with my family. I had zero friends and no one ever entertained the idea of hanging out with me, and I seriously despised the idea of being a burden to people so I just accepted it. During my last year, I still remember the day my mom called me and she told me that she and my father were retiring abroad. I was so gutted, she told me she'd help me find a new place if I went back but I kindly declined and took a job in that country (still live here up until today haha).
Still, years have gone by and I feel like I just exist in the background and I still have zero friends. There was a time, when I unironically thought I stood a chance in the dating world and boy, was I in for a rude awakening haha. I've never been on a date or ever had a woman ever romantically interested me. Of course, I'm invisible to women as well, I have an unfortunate looking face; just quite ugly. I think they call it "A face that only a mother could love" lol. But, I did attempt going to speed dating events and try dating apps a while ago to no avail. It's really hard, knowing you're unloveable for things beyond your control but I guess, I'm slowly slowly getting over it. Actually, it still hurts, who am I kidding haha
Thank you for reading if you did, I look foward to getting to know you all. Yes, it's quite a lengthy post, I'm quite a talkative person on the internet lol
After high school, I had an absurd idea to leave the whole country for higher education and to "reinvent" myself and it failed horribly. Even when I moved, I was still the same. I just failed miserably and ended spending majority of my time in my bedroom gaming, eagerly waiting for the years to go by so I can go back and live with my family. I had zero friends and no one ever entertained the idea of hanging out with me, and I seriously despised the idea of being a burden to people so I just accepted it. During my last year, I still remember the day my mom called me and she told me that she and my father were retiring abroad. I was so gutted, she told me she'd help me find a new place if I went back but I kindly declined and took a job in that country (still live here up until today haha).
Still, years have gone by and I feel like I just exist in the background and I still have zero friends. There was a time, when I unironically thought I stood a chance in the dating world and boy, was I in for a rude awakening haha. I've never been on a date or ever had a woman ever romantically interested me. Of course, I'm invisible to women as well, I have an unfortunate looking face; just quite ugly. I think they call it "A face that only a mother could love" lol. But, I did attempt going to speed dating events and try dating apps a while ago to no avail. It's really hard, knowing you're unloveable for things beyond your control but I guess, I'm slowly slowly getting over it. Actually, it still hurts, who am I kidding haha
Thank you for reading if you did, I look foward to getting to know you all. Yes, it's quite a lengthy post, I'm quite a talkative person on the internet lol