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Tales of Adventure
#1
Well, y'all don't know me from Adam, and I couldn't care f#%ng less, lol, but I have some classic tales of adventure to share with youse heroes... starting with these PC numbers (just to get 'em outta the way, pffffffft). Here ya go, and welcome to the crazy world of trucking, lol... tales from the road are always classic. Cheers!!!

Monkey Business In Manhattan  

Here's another PC tale for the leftist trash, lol... I must admit, it was pretty funny, shaking hands with the full-blooded Jamaican dude under a bad@$$ full moon rising over the Western Slope, Arches, Canyonlands, etc. That sh!t doesn't happen every day in my life, I guaran-f#%ng-tee it, so I made the most of it here...

Affirmative Action On The San Rafael Swell 

Hmm, what else do we have? Better save all the kick@$$ sailing voyages for later, here's a short story on crazy bird action at the side of the goddam road, lol... another episode from 'THE TWILIGHT ZONE' back in the day, 10-4? Meh, I took care of those birds and saw 'em to safety, so f#% the bullsh!t, lol. Those goddam birds OWE me too...

For The Birds 

Since we're on the subject of winged critters, here's a story which involves killer bees, those sonsabitches did a f#%ng number on me when I climbed the bad@$$ thumb-shaped spire which dominates the northern half of the Mohawk Mountains, lol... the blasted varmints!!! But the trek was totally worth it, as you'll soon discover... great adventure in the desert, that's for sure.

Mohawk Mountain Madness 

BTW, you can see the panoramic view from the summit spire of the Mohawk Mountains in this link which I provided earlier in some other thread... lemme go ahead and post the link again so y'all can share the classic moment when I stood atop the spire. Scroll down to the 9th pic in the first set of photos, and you'll see the very same view I witnessed from that bad@$$ spire:

Random outdoor adventure shots...

That was a cool outdoor adventure, except for the part where the killer bees stung the f#% out of me, lol. That part wasn't so enjoyable, aye? But no worries, here's another classic tale of winged varmints (almost) getting the better of me. Damn... those pesky Salt Lake Skeeters are something else, lemme tell ya, lol. Bloodthirsty little b@stards, no doubt about it... 

Salt Lake Skeeter Saga 

Oh, wait, there IS one more tale of a freakin' winged varmint, this time a $300 gnat, lol... funny how that little b@stard got the last laugh on me. But the critter didn't cost me a cent, it all came out of the company fund for such damage, don'tcha know? Goddam pesky $300 gnat, pffffft... friggin' ridiculous when ya get right down to it. 

The $300 Gnat  

Okay, these are just everyday tales of adventure in my cheesy soap opera life, we have some BAD@$$ STORIES to share later, lol... especially the island voyages, y'all will like those. Wildlife galore in those island voyages, that's for damned sure. But so long for now, I'm ready to crash, I just gotta mack some leftovers and hit the f#%ng hay, ya know? 

CHEERS, YOUSE KNUCKLEHAIDS!!! DON'T SWEAT THE FIRST ROUND OF STORIES, I'M SAVING ALL THE GOOD LITERARY MATERIAL FOR LATER, LOL...   Wink

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#2
Uh-oh, looks like I was a bit drunk last time I visited, lol. Not the case today, I may have an interview and drug screen later so I'm being a good boy. Let's see, howzabout another glimpse or two into that separate reality known as OTR Truck Driving? OTR = Over-The-Road, for those who didn't already know, it's also called long-haul trucking but I used to simply refer to it as "paid tourism." When people asked me what my occupation was back in the day, I told them, "Turista Pagado"---that's "Paid Tourist" en espanol, lol. Guess we'll start with this story, I had a really good time on Memorial Day Weekend of 1999.

Triple Treat 

When that adventure occurred, Juarez was the murder capital of the North American continent, lol. Hmm, what else do we have? Ah, here's a story that captures a more serious side of trucking, driving in winter conditions that were downright dangerous. Winter & mountain driving, that's where trucking gets serious, though in good weather some of those grades were spectacular, whether I was pulling the grade or cruising down it. But here we focus upon winter driving with a slight grade thrown in for good measure, even the smallest grade can affect operation of a rig when there's ice on the road. Here we go:

Ice Storm 

Ah, yes, I don't miss driving in those cr@ppy conditions, lol. I've already done my share of it, and I'm not likely to go OTR again, not with these cats to look after here in AZ. No way they could go with me either, that's for sure. Some drivers take pets with 'em over the road, but I can't do that, it's unfair to the animals and the distraction would be too dangerous. When I drove a big rig, I took the job seriously, as it should be taken, so I was the only carbon-based life form aboard the truck. That's just the way it was... but the job had other compensations, like hanging out in cool wilderness venues and meeting fellow climbers, visiting show caves & skyscrapers, taking boat rides nationwide, etc. 

Vision Quest At Vedauwoo 

There were times when I actually climbed with folks I met, or I simply soloed routes within my capability, taking care not to tackle anything too difficult. Nothing worse than pulling some moves at the limit of your ability, only to discover the route gets thin above, and you now have to downclimb the same dicey holds. No future in that, which is why I was always cautious in choosing on-sight solos... if there was any question about the route getting thin, I moved on to the next likely route. Meh, my hard climbing days are over now, though I still like scrambling around on boulder outcrops and larger crags at the Stronghold. Here's an out-of-the-way adventure I had down in Texas...

Mysterious & Magical Mt. Livermore 

That was a pretty cool adventure, visiting Mt. Livermore in West Texas... so many folks think of Texas as being flat, they're unaware of the ranges in the western part of the state, mountains which rise between 8000' and 9000'. Not the tallest ranges in the country, but still quite respectable, and the quality of the rock is excellent too... Livermore had solid rock, very secure as far as climbing went, it's a little-known climber's paradise due to access issues, you understand. Oh, well, I enjoyed my visit, it was a pleasant excursion in perfect weather. Well, it's time for me to sign off, but I'll leave y'all with another glimpse into trucking, this time on a more comical note...

A Classic Footrace 

Talk about a separate reality... that place used to be crazy, I mean NOTHIN' like you'd ever experienced before, lol. Just bat$h!t crazy, no two ways about it... I took my best friend there on several occasions, and he couldn't believe the insanity, lol. But he liked the pretty chicken lights on all those decked-out rigs rolling off the fuel islands... those were just another aspect of the whole long-haul trucking scene, with some drivers really decking out their rigs and making 'em look good. You don't see this with city trucks on local routes, it's a long-haul trucking thing. Some drivers just take pride in their ride, and there's nothing wrong with that... I like chrome & chicken lights, lol. Cheers!!!   Rolleyes

P.S. You can use that "Random outdoor adventure shots..." link in the previous post to see photos from some of these adventures, the pics taken as I actually pulled these recons, aye? Shots of Guadalupe Peak, shots of Vedauwoo, shots of Mt. Livermore, etc.
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#3
Time for a boat ride to Los Coronados... for many years, decades even, these islands were my spiritual home. Jaded as I was---and still am in many ways---I found sanctuary on these islands, hanging out with the wildlife and contemplating nature. These first three voyages were made in '92 and '93, and my narrative of the initial voyage to Isla Sur was published in the San Diego Reader... it earned a lousy $500 at the time. My favorite story in this 'Island Trilogy' would have to be 'ISLA NORTE'---you'll know why once you read the story. That night under the stars was the best solo night of my life, hands down... I can remember it with perfect clarity. Same goes for my first visits to the other islands, those were primo voyages. Here ya go, take a little stroll down 'Memory Lane' with Sidewinder, lol...

Laserium 

Isla Norte 

Illusion Dweller 

Truth be told, I don't think a person could duplicate these voyages nowadays without getting into trouble with 'La Armada de Mexico' (The Mexican Navy), and possibly getting thrown into jail while having one's boat confiscated. Things were different when I made these early voyages, there wasn't so much tension between Mexico and the U.S. And once I learned that the troops were stationed on Isla Sur, I made a point of visiting the other islands on 'stealth voyages'---minimal impact, leaving no trace of my presence, and generally keeping a low profile in the wilderness. Those were the days, and the memories of these early voyages will remain with me until I'm in my grave. Hard to find that sort of solitude in San Diego, ya gotta travel to East County to do it, and even then you might not find it, lol. Here's a bonus story:

The Cult Of The Laser 

That story was butchered when it was published in the rag in '93, but it also earned $500. The personal skateboarding saga 'TRIX ARE FOR KIDS' earned $1000, I'll post that one later in this thread, it's pretty funny. A story on hitchhiking titled 'MEXICAN ADVENTURE' earned $750, I'll throw that one in later as well. The remaining published stories earned $500 each, these are just blog versions of the original manuscripts which were typed and mailed in to the Reader office. Old school method, kids nowadays wouldn't know what a typewriter is... or was, I'm not sure there are any left outside of museums, lol. Meh, the march of technology is relentless, I personally can't keep up with it. Anyway, let's round out this post with another nautical tale, this one kind of sums up how my home town went downhill:

Small Craft Sailing As A Zen Exercise 

Funny, I'd forgotten about that short story, and I see I used the Zen Buddhist proverb at the end, same proverb I shared with y'all earlier in a different thread. It's a good one, it has never let me down, lol. I suppose I should mention that whatever 'loneliness' I experience today stems directly from hostile antisocial tendencies formed in my youth... after my dad split, we were dirt poor in a town full of rich wanks, and it was a long hard slog, with skateboarding & small craft sailing my only outlets for spiritual expression. We were lucky too, since the Navy offered dependent families an annual sailing club membership for only $60, and our large military family really made use of that $60 membership. Otherwise, we never would have learned to sail... and sailing is sacred to me, it has broadened my horizons in many ways. 'BEDTIME FOR BONZO'---HASTA LUEGO, YOUSE NAUTICAL HEROES!!!

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#4
Hmm, time to throw down the skateboarding saga... for some reason, the staff botched this blog toward the end, shifting it into italic mode for a bit. Wasn't that way when I first typed it, but meh, these things happen.  

Trix Are For Kids  

So many years spent skating... so many cool memories. That double-grind in the VertiBowl is a good example, that was a timeless ride which I'll never forget. Nowadays kids do so many amazing things on skateboards, but we were pioneers, skating vertical before these kids were even born, lol. 
 
The Blue Angels Of Truck Driving 

Trucking & skateboarding are similar in certain ways, only your 'skateboard' weighs 40 tons, it is articulated, and it'll do triple digits in 'Mexican Overdrive' (Neutral) on those long 5% grades in central Utah, when no other traffic is around. Don't ask me how I know this, lol. Hey, that Deming incident was also the first time I heard the handle 'Sidewinder!' 

Internet Rambo!!! 

That last one's not really a story, just my humorous commentary on the 'CB Rambos' occasionally found in the transportation industry. This was first written before Vegas became the hellhole it is now, with zombie trolls as far as the eye can see in every direction. Wasn't always that way... and of course, it took political scumbags to ruin it.

Flyin' High  

Didn't I say I took trucking seriously? Damn... that story concerns the first & last time I ever smoked dope behind the wheel of a big truck. Gives the 'American Motoring Public' a nice secure feeling, lol... but the REALLY scary reality is the meth-heads out there, 10-4? And they're out there... believe me.

"And I'll Take Some To Go..." 

That last piece is just an essay on regional fare... that was always one cool aspect of trucking, being able to mix it up with the cuisine. Just thinking about those juicy Carolina peaches brings back good memories, lol. Well, time to go, gotta make breakfast and do the dishes... hot cereal with a little butter, brown sugar & milk. Cheers!!!
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#5
Wish I had some tales of adventures to share.
Any major dude with half a heart surely will tell you, my friend....any minor world that breaks apart, falls together again.
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