Women, do good ones exist? Are relationships worth it?

I've been thinking a lot lately and I am still not sure about all this.

A bit of background. Been out with a fair number of girls in my life, but only had one serious girlfriend who I was with for two years. Things didn't work out with her for a number of reasons and after that I decided to take a break from females to sort of re-evaluate my life, focus on some things I wanted to do and generally figure things out.

It's been about a year now, and I've been out with a couple of girls very casually but that's about it. The problem is, even though there are some fun girls around there don't seem to be any who I would consider having a relationship with. I admit I am scared of getting hurt, and I see how most girls treat their guys and how their relationships go and well .... I don't want to put my time and energy into a girl who will get bored of me in a few months as soon as I start developing feelings and move onto the next guy as if I never existed. This seems to be the pattern most girls take, no break between relationships, no time to get over things, no emotional attachment just .... On your bike, don't like you anymore .... NEXT PLEASE!

I'm not the kind of guy who gets attached to girls quickly or easily, I do like to spend a bit of time getting to know someone before asking them out and try not to freak anyone out by being either too clingy or too sexual too soon, largely because what I really would like is someone who has some morals and is going to care about me. Basically, I just be myself and try to keep it all laid back and see how it goes even though at times my mind races ahead of me trying to figure out what women are thinking and second guess where things are going.

So seriously, is it worth trying to find a decent girl or should I just write women off as mindless amusements and aim to bed them all with no regard for emotions or love or anything like that? I don't think this would come naturally to me, but I would rather that than play a game with the odds stacked completely against me.

Sure. I'm good (feel a bit goofy, couldn't pass it )

What? And I am meant to take you at your word without any evidence, discussion or well ... anything?

Oh well, at least you are goofy. The world needs more goofy girls because god **** they are cute.

There are good women out there. I think the reason there are women who seem to like casual relationships now a days is because either they are tired of being the ones hurt or they are just focusing on other things that they feel are of more value. Yes, I do think you should aleast try you may run through a couple of bad apples that don't suit who you are as a person. Try at least there isn't anything wrong with that. The best method I find complimenting is when you can become friends with opposite sex for a couple of months or years and then you select out of them. You'll find that the girl who is like your side kick or your partner in crime could be the one for you. However its different for many people.

Also, pick out what is ideal for you before you try looking for someone if its based on beauty or personality or status start there and then just think of what you want. You may not find someone who is what you put as your ideal however you still have that as you base and you can always grow from there.

Like mine is : guys with dark eyes , dark hair, I like deep voices, i like guys who are my height or taller. I like guys who are driven, funny, knows when its ok to be laid back, someone who is realistic to balance out my day dreaming, someone who dosen't need me every minute of his day but maybe once in a good while during the week. Someone who can learn how to appreciate everything in life even if its not what he likes, someone who dosen't get mad easily if i say something that i had no idea would hurt him, someone who can teach things that i never knew about, someone who can show me different music, movies, ideas, places to go, ways of living and then someone who can except my music, movies, ideas, places to go, ways of living with out having to get all huffy and puffy about it.

Anyways, i'm sorry my point is... have an idea of who want and work it out that way don't shut off the women if they don't fit you that first date you have to at least try and get to know the person before you can truely make the decision wheather or not this person is for you. So, the conclusion is yes if you want to find the person for you yes you will have except the fact you have to work for it. Nothing come easy.

I hope there's decent women in this world.
There's over 3 billion females on this planet.
There's even beautiful babes on this site that just wants to be loved and charrish.

I havn't been with a lot of women aside from the dating stages of between long term
relationships. Four seriouse relationships in my life time and end result left me pretty
**** devestated or heart broken each time. The **** narely emotional roller coasters after
a hard break up to rub it in even more.

I mean each time. I think or tell myself ..this is it...this is the person I'll
spend the rest of my life with.

It's not as if I want to be a chick magnet or a stud..
Dating or wanting to try to love again it a trip every fucken time.
At first I'll hate dating becuase of what comes with the territory.


Of course I always feel or say to myself I'll never fine love again right after a break up.
Then i spend time alone to sort things out....It's what suggest you do..6 month -1 years.
So i follow those **** instructions. Yeah it's a trip everytime.

yeah..i get those **** questions running through my thoughts everytime too.
Such as are relationships overrated and stuff like that.
Or I'll think to myself...F-it...I'm going to break some fucken hearts too.
Nice guys comes in last and that good stuff.
yeah...the thoughts of women are just objects and crap like that too.
yeah...like I'll think...f-it, I'll go into the mountains and trun into a god **** monk or some crap.lol

Like that **** country song....I'll be fast as you...lmao

How I got to this piont is a little different then just a regular break up ..my last gf passed away.
But i still go through the same mind trip or experinces after a hard break up.
Letting go , moving forward and still wanting to belive in love.

The way I feel today...I'm at the stage of I'm starting to feel okay for being single.
So, I'm just rolling with the wind of changes ...i guess.
It's been like a crazy fucken nightmare or strom for the past 6 months just to ge to this piont.

I know there's decent women available. When I'm ready. I 'll try again.
I wish it's easy said then done though.

I dunno...The journey of life or the human dramma...it's a trip either way.
When I look back at my life....i can truely say.
My life had been full.
It's been full of happiness.
It's been full of pain
It's been full of love
It's been full of loneliness
It's been full of questions
it's been full of answers.
it's been full of meanings
It's been full of emptiness.

There are good women out there. Look no further than to your mom. Anywayz, one problem with dudes is that they always tend to think any relationship with a girl should be a romantic and sexual ones. I think we guys should change our attitude...and soon enough, we find ourselves with many good female friends....and girls do make good friends, better than guys i would say.

I agree that in my experience girls do make better friends than most males. Why? I'm not so sure. Maybe it is because there's not too much of an urge among a group to compete with and one up each other as much as there would be among males.

That all said, I am a man after all and it is a bit frustrating that for some reason, perhaps many, I can not make that jump from friend to a relationship with a girl.

I guess being friends first is just not the right thing to do.

Girls do make better friends.

Everyone is different. I'm sorry your experiences with women have not been the best, but I assure you there are girls out there who find long, serious relationships appealing and will appreciate you taking the time to get to know them.

I've never liked "casual" relationships. I mean sure, they start out casual, but I'm only going to get together with someone who I see myself being serious about. As for the fading feelings, that's never been a problem with me or a lot of my friends. Many of them stay in and prefer long-term over casual flings, and when it comes to my relationship, my feelings have never faded for my boyfriend of a few years.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't give up just because of a few bad experiences. You'll find someone out there who wants something serious and isn't going to toss you aside because they loose interest. It all just depends on the types of people you meet, obviously.

yai said:

Everyone is different. I'm sorry your experiences with women have not been the best, but I assure you there are girls out there who find long, serious relationships appealing and will appreciate you taking the time to get to know them.

I've never liked "casual" relationships. I mean sure, they start out casual, but I'm only going to get together with someone who I see myself being serious about. As for the fading feelings, that's never been a problem with me or a lot of my friends. Many of them stay in and prefer long-term over casual flings, and when it comes to my relationship, my feelings have never faded for my boyfriend of a few years.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't give up just because of a few bad experiences. You'll find someone out there who wants something serious and isn't going to toss you aside because they loose interest. It all just depends on the types of people you meet, obviously.

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If I find someone I want it do be for good.

Hijacc said:

yai said:

Everyone is different. I'm sorry your experiences with women have not been the best, but I assure you there are girls out there who find long, serious relationships appealing and will appreciate you taking the time to get to know them.

I've never liked "casual" relationships. I mean sure, they start out casual, but I'm only going to get together with someone who I see myself being serious about. As for the fading feelings, that's never been a problem with me or a lot of my friends. Many of them stay in and prefer long-term over casual flings, and when it comes to my relationship, my feelings have never faded for my boyfriend of a few years.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't give up just because of a few bad experiences. You'll find someone out there who wants something serious and isn't going to toss you aside because they loose interest. It all just depends on the types of people you meet, obviously.

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If I find someone I want it do be for good.

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But wouldn't that permanent feeling come from being with them for quite awhile? If I find someone I can see myself being with for a long time, I probably wouldn't develop the "I want this to last forever" feelings until the relationship has become long-term. I just suppose that can be translated into moving a bit too fast, though ideally it would be amazing if whenever you found yourself serious about someone they ended up being "the one" for you.

I got into my relationship at a young age, and I grew attached to my SO fairly easily and had the idea of wanting to stay together with him for good, but that only caused a lot of heartache and problems with me personally when I started discovering who he really was, his flaws, and how our relationship worked (or well, didn't work).

i used to think this.. that good guys dont exist.
then i met a guy on this site who surprised me... and he continues to surprise me.

he's good.

Good to hear you've found someone Jales. Though, seriously .... of course good guys exist. It's the women who are the problem

Interesting comments from you guys on a number of levels. Surprised to see so many of you think females make better friends, I've often found the opposite. Even though I would probably prefer female friends, Guys are usually easier to get along with, don't get offended too easily and there is not the risk of sexual tension or awkwardness like that cropping up. Only problem with male friends is that you can kind of grow apart after a while, or get bored of hanging out doing the same stuff with them too much.

Nothing against female friends, I just find that in general women are nowhere near as reliable or honest. I guess that is one of my problems, I just think a lot of women in general are fickle, selfish and that we have a generation of spoiled princesses on our hands. I know not everyone is like that, but at times it feels that way.

No, good women don't exist.........I think you should turn gay.
Just kidding.
:-D LOL

somedude said:

Good to hear you've found someone Jales. Though, seriously .... of course good guys exist. It's the women who are the problem

Interesting comments from you guys on a number of levels. Surprised to see so many of you think females make better friends, I've often found the opposite. Even though I would probably prefer female friends, Guys are usually easier to get along with, don't get offended too easily and there is not the risk of sexual tension or awkwardness like that cropping up. Only problem with male friends is that you can kind of grow apart after a while, or get bored of hanging out doing the same stuff with them too much.

Nothing against female friends, I just find that in general women are nowhere near as reliable or honest. I guess that is one of my problems, I just think a lot of women in general are fickle, selfish and that we have a generation of spoiled princesses on our hands. I know not everyone is like that, but at times it feels that way.

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A lot of women just expect to be treated with respect, consideration and understanding. Especially in relationships. What I wouldn't give for my boyfriend to just be like "I'm sorry I'm upsetting you" and have the issue be done (because I'm that easy to please, just an apology is enough for me) instead of screaming or yelling about how irrational and ridiculous I'm being by getting upset at whatever.

I think that's where the whole "spoiled" thing might come from. I just expect my SO to understand and be a bit considerate of my feelings from time to time, but that could easily be translated in "just do whatever I say and never get mad at me". :\

Yai that probably comes from the basic differences in men and women and the way we see things. As a man, i have no problem saying sorry when I understand what I have done wrong but don't like being blamed or having someone get pissed off at me for trivial things, nor do I feel any need to say sorry to someone who creates drama for no good reason. Women tend to notice the small things a lot more I guess, whereas men might be a little blind to the small stuff at times because we are trying to focus on the bigger picture.


And actually the spoiled thing as I see it is well ... women expect a lot more than they offer and due to the world being full of stupid men, a lot of the time they can get it too so if I am not interested in playing that game they can almost always find someone else who is.

somedude said:

Yai that probably comes from the basic differences in men and women and the way we see things. As a man, i have no problem saying sorry when I understand what I have done wrong but don't like being blamed or having someone get pissed off at me for trivial things, nor do I feel any need to say sorry to someone who creates drama for no good reason. Women tend to notice the small things a lot more I guess, whereas men might be a little blind to the small stuff at times because we are trying to focus on the bigger picture.


And actually the spoiled thing as I see it is well ... women expect a lot more than they offer and due to the world being full of stupid men, a lot of the time they can get it too so if I am not interested in playing that game they can almost always find someone else who is.

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Well that's the difference - trivial to you, important to whoever you might be dating at the time. And if it IS that important to the person you love and care about, then trying to understand the situation should be just as important to you.

I suppose I'm just weird. If I upset my boyfriend in any way, even if it's because of something seemingly trivial to ME, I'm still sorry I upset him. I might not be sorry for what I did if I don't understand why it made him angry, but I am genuinely sorry for upsetting someone I care about, and that's where the "I'm sorry" should come into play vise versa, IMO.

Also depends on relationships. Distorted views and such. My boyfriend thinks me being upset at him for lying is "trivial" and "ridiculous" - when of course, I don't think it is at all. It all just depends.

I do say though, if you're not willing to be there for someone who you love and loves you back, even through trivial matters, then you might not have a pleasant relationship ahead of you. But most likely, at least from my experience, girls tend to not get so upset over small things if they feel safe and secure and loved to begin with, but either way I think all people in relationships should attempt at understanding each other in a calm, polite manner instead of jumping on the "it's trivial bullshit" wagon.

I agree with you Yai. I think the "It's trivial bullshit" bandwagon doesn't roll into town until there are some other problems going on, maybe people start to lose patience with each other after a while.

I know the best relationship I had started off great, we cared about each other and honestly even though I got my heart broken in the end I would not trade that time for anything. But pressure, stress, all sorts of things start to grind people down.

I don't know ... maybe it's hard for two people to both compromise for the sake of harmony in a lot of cases. If your man would be sorry for the small stuff and try to avoid doing it, and if you would try to not get upset so much or maybe keep quiet when you are upset then who knows. Sorry to use you guys as an example, I just know from personal experience that it's sad when two people who care about each other can't get on the same page to make things work.

Hmmm, I'm back towards my women are full of honeysuckle thinking now.

Yep. As soon as I start to think maybe there are some decent ones around THAT is when they ******* mess with you.

Like with some men, some wimmin are shits.
Like with some Wimmin, some men are shits,
It goes both ways
So do relashionships.
Treat your loves like you want to be loved.