My first post, guess im summing up my lonliness

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Kerouac_Addict

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I Love Kerouac and Coltrane. I hate desolation and lonliness, yet I see tremendous amounts of beauty in both of them. When I sit here at home and feel totally gone and alone, the feeling is wonderous, extravagant even. Even though this high is so wonderful, I still feel that huge gaping black hole swallow my soul and every stream of life getting near it. Its not that i cant find a girlfriend, but I dont want one thats anywhere near where live. They are all the same, but i have nothing in common with any of them. Another problem (NOT to sound conceited at ALL) but im very mature for my age (im 16). I have people who care about me, but (my grandparents and best friend aside) I dont really care for any of them at all. I usually miss my ex girlfriend, who was a horrible girlfriend usually, but then again, after having many after have, none of them ever came close to bringing me the joy she did, shes gone now though. My best friend and i both plan on going to collegve sooner or later....probably later. Before that we plan on leaving for California, living a Kerouac life in a world where its hard to be beat and you hafta search for the beatness in everyday life......which i hate. One reason were doing this, because we can get away and meet people, I myself, just hope to meet someone along the way who sees how i see. Sorry this is so long, i love you all.
 
Hi Kerouac_addict.
Your story sounds similar to mine. When I was in my 16 I used to feel like you feel.
I wish you good luck!
 

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