How we became lonely

Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.
F

Falco

Guest
I am not an expert by far in this arena of lifes problems. But like most all of you I ponder......how the hell did I end up like this. Well there are thousands of little variable in our llves that contributed to loneliness, each one of us has a different story and past. We are who we are because of our parents and their upbringing, sibliing interactions, all experiences as children good and bad, as well as past relationships with friends and/or love interests. These pivital events in our lives dictate "who we are" no way around it.
This true self of who we are, sets the stage our whole life in how we respond, react, associate with, and relate with other humans. As stated eveyone is so different as is their unique past and upbringing. We all are not crazy, whinning people wallowing in self pity. Someone who is totally ignorant (like the guy who posted WTF) of how and why these feelings manifest themselves in some people. They just do not understand the dynamics of it.
If some of us get hurt repeatedly by others, instead of lashing out for revenge,...we may withdrawl so not to risk further pain. If some of us for different reasons start to lose self-confidence others sense this, (trust me, they do) and may start to pull away feeding the cycle of less and less confidence and self worth. It is a downward spiral that leads to less and less contact with others. At some point we become exhausted (mentally) fighting and trying to rationalize why we are worthy to fit in and have friends. It becomes a type of status quo in our lives to shy away, stay self contained with shielded feeling or emotions around others. This exsistence becomes much easier and less painfull than the rejections, snubbings, and such and this will most always lead to the point of feeling alone in the world. Loneliness is when we feel we are alone and it is not by our choice.
It takes more than someone who cares for just a few days and a couple of lunch meetings to "get back" to what we or society may call normal. I was told "hey just get out there and mingle and make friends". Well spoken and sound advice. We should. But there is a profound, deep set, troubling reason why we haven't "got out there" over the past several years! If someone is compaining "hey I am in debt, have no money", why don't we pat him on the back and advise them to get out there start a huge business and make millions! Hey, Bill Gates did it, what is stopping you, quit whinning. Life and the human psyche does not work in a linear fashon as such. Nice if it did. No it will take time, a true effort on our part, a time where we are truly and surely fed up with living life without company. We force ourselves to suck it up and take the rejection as it bounces off of us. To look right at those who may hurt and snub us and get an attitude of hey you con't hurt me cause frankly I do not give a dam about the negatives you may think. Take control. do not give these abusive bores the time or power to knock you. Who are these people anyway that they dictate the worthiness of anyone. Get bold, get serious about your right to the good life. it will take time and I am working on this myself, just like all of you. It is so hard I do know. As far as suicide. Hell no!!! Do not let these ingrate bores win and push you out. I will make them deal with it.
I wish all on the forum to start making progress of a better, more enjoyable life. We deserve an enhanced life too right?

One very funny line I heard on the Simpson's one night. Chief Wiggins stated "hey we'd all like to have friends, but really what's the odds of that happening?"
Peace
Falco
 

Latest posts

Back
Top