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sweetviki

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I feel like I will never find the one for me and just feel like giving up.

My first bf it was great in the beginning until he told be out of the blue that we should break up. It was like something just tore my hear tight out of my body. So we broke up but we continued seeing each other b/c our parents were friends. I gues me and him just had weak will power b/c it turned into this friends with benefits thing. He was my first, well alot of firsts .There would be times when it seemed ok but then he would change and act like o complete ******* to me. I was so lost and emotional confused. In the end we had a realy big fight that hurt me so much and then he left to Europe . It left a very deep hole inside me that took along tim to heal

After a while I started dating someone else and in the beggining he was nice to me though he did have alot of issues in his life but I was determined to be there for him. After we have been dating for a while I decided this guy cares about me we should take the next step. After that evrything was a okay for a little bit but it changed over time. All he seem to care about is sex. He stopped caring what I though didnt try to take me out or anything and bragged to his friends about oh how he messed a model ( I want to model and agency wants to give me a contract) Then once my periosn was late and so I thought th worst and my mom saw how stressed out I seem and confronted me about it and I told her. I wasnt pregnant just stress but my mom from now on has dificuly trusting me to this day. Me and him broke it off.

I've dated this other guy after that and he was realy sweet to me we connected he treated me well. unfortunenty he also had a substance abuse problem and got caught and went to jail for a little bit then to rehab. After he came out he asked me to help him stay off drugs and be there for him and I said I would. But his mom wont let him speak to anyone I called his house phone and she basicaly told me to loose the number and never call again. this was yesterday so thats that.

Yesterday I talked to my first bf in Europe online and he apoligised to me for everything . He said that he was being an ******* because he found out he was gonna leave so he wanted to push me away. He said it was wrong of him and he realised how much of an effect it had on me. So we started talking more and he told me he has a gf and how happy he is . It was liek something just brought the old pain from the past and I started to cry. WE continued on talking and telling me that I'm a wownderful person and was a great gf and will deff find someone for me soon but I just kept on crying near my labtop. I though I put it all behing me but I guess not.

And now here I am after everything just seeing eveyone find someone special in their lives and I'm alone with alot of the old pain boiling at the surface. i just needed to talk to someone that would give me advice or something . I dont know if I will ever find someone or feel like I dont deserve it sometimes.
 
It's a shame that (too) many people these days are just after sex. Unless you know that person's sex history, not too much can be done. Personally I find it unfair that your first bf who you have had many firsts with would break up with you out of the blue without even explaining why. Even up to this day, you should be able to know why, unless you don't want to know.

Your story about the guy who had the substance abuse was sad. I could never tell you to not date him because not everyone's bad but my general advice is that even if you are lonely, you still have the right to set your standards as high as you would like and sometimes, a loved one's help is not the same as getting professional help.

I can't blame you for crying from talking to your first bf again because he was your first (and the first person you're worth should be special) and he wasn't treating you the way you deserved yet he's the one happy now and having a new gf and I'm sure that a part of you will always continue to love him and even though you could have him around as a friend if you wanted, it's not the same and deep down many of us would want our ex's to want the best for us and sometimes to be around to comfort us. When you think about everything, it reminds you of how much you want to have someone to fall in love with and to make you happy.
 
Girl, it's tough out there for a woman (and a man) these days! The womens' revolution did many great things for us females, but it also made it possible for women to just spread their thighs to anyone socially acceptable. Therefore, it's harder to find a man if you are not promiscuous. If you are promiscuous, it's hard to know the man's true intentions since he may be just using you.
 
Lonelygirl's right.

Me, I also feel like everyone I know is finding someone special. I think that happens especially around a certain age.

I might be able to give some advice, send me a pm :) I have experience with 1 serious "all firsts" girl like you...
 
Aww! Well, you are at least lucky to find a guy who would possibly date you. I'm 15 years old and I have never had a boyfriend, or any guy have a crush on me. All the guys I know etiher hate me, like someone else, or wouldn't go out with me if I was the last girl on earth. Right now is not the best time for me to have a relationship since I really need to bring up my marks, especially in math, but I guess I just would like to know that one guy in this world would actually date me. *sigh* Why must guys be so shallow and only like girls who are attractive looking?
 
Why must you be so shallow and only like guys who are attractive looking?

Answer: because nobody wants to be with a visually unpleasant person.

The same reason why you don't have a boyfriend yet, there are actually plenty of guys without a girlfriend, but they are either ugly, or fat, or very shy and don't speak, so you don't want any of them.
 
sweetviki said:
I dont know if I will ever find someone or feel like I dont deserve it sometimes.

You should not feel like you don't deserve to have a good boyfriend. No matter what happens you should have value in yourself. Some people (like your first boyfriend) think that after a period of time dating someone, that they loose their value. Like just throwing something away because it is used up or obsolete. This is how people treat other people, as if their primary value depreciates over time like a used car. Look at the divorce rate for example.

We are all lonely, our beauty will fade, we all make mistakes, bad things will happen too us, we have personality flaws, and all of us will die. If you meet a guy whose ego isn't big enough to cast a shadow over these truths, and many more nobler ones, that is the guy for you. You may have to lower your expectations as far as looks, salary, and popularity, but if you look, you will find him and he will have value for you, more than anything else he sees.

P.S. you wont find theses guys on the internet or at bars or at clubs
P.S.S. this is just my opinion, so dont limit yourself

P.S.S.S. I believe that if you want to enough, you will find a great guy!
 
BrokenDreams said:
*sigh* Why must guys be so shallow and only like girls who are attractive looking?

Broken, this is not true. When I was 15 I was too afraid to talk to any girl (beyond "hi", "yeah", "ok" and other monosyllables), let alone attractive ones. This is probably true with most of the guys you go to school with
 
Tocktwd said:
BrokenDreams said:
*sigh* Why must guys be so shallow and only like girls who are attractive looking?

Broken, this is not true.  When I was 15 I was too afraid to talk to any girl (beyond "hi", "yeah", "ok" and other monosyllables), let alone attractive ones.  This is probably true with most of the guys you go to school with

Yeah, I can't talk to guys. Except the one guy I sit beside in religion class, but thats mostly asking for help. Besides, he likes someone else anyways...

I'm just too shy to talk to any guys...
 
at least you had a bf. at least you had the experience of someone loving you. i never had any really girlfriend. never really did anything. im real romantically challenged too. i have a question tho is it easier for girls sometimes? i always wonder girls can just sit there and wait for some guy to like them. but guys always have to make the first move or the guy end up being the "friend" of the girl. i didnt make the move and she ended up being a friend... it was shittiest thing ever. and im sure BrokenDreams will find someone great in the future. someone will find BrokenDreams attractive in many ways not just physical. i love it when some girl that sits next to me just want to talk. dont be shy.
 
I watch my friends get girls, dance with their girlfriends at parties... and I know they are all after sex basically.
I seem to be like the only guy who just wants a close relationship with someone yet the only one who is single.

I have met the nicest girls throughout my life, true friends and all that. But even these nice honest people are attracted to boys that fresia around with their girl friends and are conceited twats.

I don't get it, do girls WANT to get hurt? I would treat anybody that way, I want to be nice, have talks about life... so nobody is attracted to me. I don't F*king get it!
 
mimizu said:
Why must you be so shallow and only like guys who are attractive looking?

Answer: because nobody wants to be with a visually unpleasant person.

The same reason why you don't have a boyfriend yet, there are actually plenty of guys without a girlfriend, but they are either ugly, or fat, or very shy and don't speak, so you don't want any of them.

actually the only guys i really do like are fat ones
i always found fat guys to be so sweet they will do anything to hold onto thier girls problem is they usually like the pretty lil sweet young ones too ,heavy guys want what they dont get ,a pretty girl.
yep,fat,ugly,handicapped,blind,nerdy,bald,old any or all of the above are very attractive to me just in percentage factors that they are less likely to screw you over so badly as they fear being alone too.
plus young or pretty guys are stressful they always look good and you try so hard to look good but they look better with ease,they look at girls and girls look back ,jealousy gets out of control
being big the only type of guy i keep away from is very small or skinny as i feel like i am overwhelming them ,i dont get the emotional boost i need that i am being taken care of.everyone else has a good chance with me as long as they are serious and not interested in hook ups only
 
SighX99 said:
i have a question tho is it easier for girls sometimes? i always wonder girls can just sit there and wait for some guy to like them. but guys always have to make the first move or the guy end up being the "friend" of the girl.


I don't think it's any easier for girls. I know I would prefer to be approached by a guy, but that's never happened, so when I meet a guy a like, I try to approach him. And I've never had any luck doing that, so I don't think it's any easier for girls to get a guy than it is for guys to get a girl.
 
I always meet people, then theyd give hints even tell me they like me. But once i bite on their bait, theyd leave me hangin..
I dont think ill ever meet someone who'd be there and will stay.
 
Just dont think about it.

Look at pictures of Prince Harry or David Hasselhoff... or just any goddamn guy on this earth.

Jerk off to him.

Worked for me. I ridded myself of the pain for craving for women after they destroyed my heart and soul. :) Porn and escorts for me if I want sexual contact. Otherwise, a woman is just a friend. No crossing the DMZ lol.

If men and women are equal, this might work. Get yourself a giggolo or some gay porn (all the big muscled good looking naked men are there)...
 
Sweetviki, since You already seem like the dreamgirl, and i don't mean physcially (which might be true as well, being a model candidate); caring, loving and intelligent, all at the same time, and are one of thos poor souls who've been faced with the three kind of people i want to perform a headshot on, my only advice to You is to start using some online service.

I'm not saying that You aren't ever gonna find the man of Your dreams by meeting them in places like bars or whatever, but i think You have had just about enough of crap from the scum of the earth already. By creating a profile on a match-making service online You can easily find the person You're looking for by simply reading his profile and message this person online for as long as You want before You'd want to meet. The most of the people who are active at websites like these are the one's who truly want to find a lifepartner.

BrokenDreams said:
I'm 15 years old and I have never had a boyfriend, or any guy have a crush on me. Why must guys be so shallow and only like girls who are attractive looking?

You sound just like the typical girl of Your age. BD, being 15 years old doesn't mean that You got to have a boyfriend. There's a very low percentage of the people that meet someone in Your age who don't regret that they ever did it. They just do it because "everybody else does" and end up being alone again after jumping from guy to guy/ girl to girl. Sure it would be good to have some experience before You went going for real, but it' definitely not necessary. You ever heard the saying "Girls mature faster than boys" ? When it comes to love, that couldn't more true; most guys in Your age are way out sailing when it comes to follow their hearts. It's the unloved, bullied guys who mature and realise the important things in life faster than the others boys.

Everyone, and especially guys, grow more handsome by the years and hopefully You'll see one day, soon, that the wishes of the heart tend to take over when they grow stronger. You wouldn't want the most good looking guys around You; they are the one's that take their looks to advantage when using others to get what they want. Both You and them are too young to start getting serious with relationships. Don't worry! You'll get there too! We are all so impatient to grow up when we're as young as You are but You shouldn't spoil it by doing like those stupid other one's do.

And just for the sake of it, since sex is a part of most relationships, the vast majority of the people who lost their virginity during their younger years regret that they didn't wait. You should be proud of Yourself in general for not acting unthoughtful like so many others do in Your age! Keep up the great spirit for improving Your grades and You'll thank Yourself in a few years!

Tocktwd said:
P.S. you wont find theses guys on the internet or at bars or at clubs

Let's see, not on the internet, and not in the bars or the clubs. So where do You find them? In the sea? Where You look has nothing to do with if You're going to find the right one or not; the chances of doing so just differs. Online services are considered the most likely and fastest way, since You can get to see the personal side of a person much quicker; find out who he/she really is before You meet.

SighX99 said:
at least you had a bf. at least you had the experience of someone loving you. i never had any really girlfriend. never really did anything. im real romantically challenged too. i have a question tho is it easier for girls sometimes? i always wonder girls can just sit there and wait for some guy to like them. but guys always have to make the first move or the guy end up being the "friend" of the girl. i didnt make the move and she ended up being a friend... it was shittiest thing ever. and im sure BrokenDreams will find someone great in the future. someone will find BrokenDreams attractive in many ways not just physical. i love it when some girl that sits next to me just want to talk. dont be shy.

You really remind me of myself when i was younger. If You love a girl who You currently "only" are a friend with i would say it's the perfect chance to show her Your true feelings for her. It's the third time i write this today; women love attention. You got to show her that You have feelings for her if You want to know if she have feelings for You, it's the only fair way. But, like i already said, if You don't feel like it's a good idea, You have a lot of time left to figure out a good way to tell a women that You love her. Do You want to talk more about this, X99? You could send me a Personal Message and i'll gladly help You.

And i'ts very sweet of You to write so dearly about BD. I think You're right about that, X99! You seem like a real gentleman, too. You're gonna make a girl very happy one day, You know.
 

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