"Too good" for unsavory people

This is very hard to describe, but I need to vent and I will do my best.

I am a man, one of the kinds who hasn't had a relationship and is already nearing the age of thirty. I am physically fit, I stay out of trouble, I have a well paying job and two degrees from respectable institutions in the USA. In spite of this, getting rejected by women is essentially a fact of life for me, and I have to re-accept it every time it happens to me. The reason that I am rejected is because I am "too good."

I recently had a female friend of mine who wanted to get into a relationship with me. She got my hopes up, and then all of a sudden pulled away, stating that I am too good. "Good" meaning that I don't steal, don't cheat, don't do drugs and a whole litany of other "bad" behaviors. She still wants to be my friend, because I "am very knowledgeable", but I just want her to ******* go away because she somehow managed to really hurt me.

This has happened to me countless times. What to do I need to do get women? Do I need to start out by abusing them immediately? I don't understand, why does following the rules make me undesirable? Do I need to join the ******* mafia?

From personal experience, I'm attracted to "bad boys". Not the drug-alcohol-women abusers, but there's a spark to them. A little pep in their step. Maybe you could possibly think about if you're "bragging" about who you are. The degrees from the respectable school, the well-paying job, the always being a good guy... She and other females might consider that bragging a bit. Or, she may have had her own reasons.

VanillaCreme said:

From personal experience, I'm attracted to "bad boys". Not the drug-alcohol-women abusers, but there's a spark to them. A little pep in their step. Maybe you could possibly think about if you're "bragging" about who you are. The degrees from the respectable school, the well-paying job, the always being a good guy... She and other females might consider that bragging a bit. Or, she may have had her own reasons.

Click to expand...

Well, maybe you're right about the bragging thing. I always thought that having credentials and things like that validates my own existence, but it doesn't.

Instead of the mafia, I could join a military contracting corporation and be an outlaw.

I'd also like a legitimate answer to this question. A practical one.

athousandleaves said:

This has happened to me countless times. What to do I need to do get women? Do I need to start out by abusing them immediately? I don't understand, why does following the rules make me undesirable? Do I need to join the ******* mafia?

Click to expand...

No you dont want go go and do that, your looking at the wrong type of woman, look beyond the bubble of bad and you will get what you want.(did that make sence?)
Wimmin who like the "bad boy" repeatedly get hurt over and over again, and the sad thing is, they put up with it and thats what ive never realy understood.
Maybe it is the thrill, the excitment of being with someone wild, maybe its an insecurity thing,but personaly someone treated me crappy again, id tell them to sling it as im worth more then that.
Dont be angry,that makes bitterness,but turn it into a positive learning curve.

That's becuase you're not cool...man
will...did you make her laugh ? Can she feel like she can breath
being around you . Or it's like trying to fit a elephant into a door
knob or walking egg shells. Sometimes you have to lighten up.
Don't make her feel like less of a human being just to be around you.
Have a pillow fight with her, jump on the bed, splatter confetti all over the house....etc.
Use her lipstick to write i love you on the mirror so she'll see it in the morning....stuff like that.
Have sex with her on the hood of the car or the washing machine...dude.

F- that honeysuckle...all work and no play. Make it fun to be around ya.

Seriously, I don't take myself too serious all the time.
Yeah..I'm a recoverying perfectionist too...lmao

So you're a lonely dude that has a job with a second degree and can't do no wrong eh ?

You'll only attrack people that about as sick or as well as you are..
Are you sure you're not the sick one ?..just joking.

I've heard some say it's not so much the 'bad boy' they're attracted to, it's more the 'fun and exciting' part that -comes- with the 'bad boy'.

Have you considered taking up some fun new hobbies? Working on your sense of humor if it's not very good? Tease her a little bit to make her laugh? Or howbout unexpected things...like just driving off in to the mountains for an evening, maybe even pack a dinner and do some stargazing? Things like that. You can do all that and not turn in to an ass

Lonesome Crow said:

That's becuase you're not cool...man
will...did you make her laugh ? Can she feel like she can breath
being around you . Or it's like trying to fit a elephant into a door
knob or walking egg shells. Sometimes you have to lighten up.
Don't make her feel like less of a human being just to be around you.
Have a pillow fight with her, jump on the bed, splatter confetti all over the house....etc.
Use her lipstick to write i love you on the mirror so she'll see it in the morning....stuff like that.
Have sex with her on the hood of the car or the washing machine...dude.

F- that honeysuckle...all work and no play. Make it fun to be around ya.

Seriously, I don't take myself too serious all the time.
Yeah..I'm a recoverying perfectionist too...lmao

So you're a lonely dude that has a job with a second degree and can't do no wrong eh ?

You'll only attack people that about as sick or as well as you are..
Are you sure you're not the sick one ?..just joking.

Click to expand...

I wouldn't say that I'm some kind of straight laced poker face guy. I am actually kind of funny and with his woman in question we do have a fun time together. Except she is looking for some one who she can cheat on and not feel guilty because the guy will cheat on her back. She didn't even ask if I was willing to treat her bad, she just kind of sensed that I was a softee. Her words were something like "I am going to sleep around and you're not bad enough to cheat on."

I don't look down on people, because I know that there are people who dropped out of high school and are way better off than I am (especially in this country, Japan). In general I try to encourage people, especially people who aren't in a good position, and I also tend to accept people regardless of what they are, good, bad, low, disabled or whatever, but I guess people don't do the same thing back to me. Instead I just get rejected because I'm "good".

I'm probably through with this one, she's the kind who is pretty one-sided and has her own way of doing things. It's pointless to beg someone to take me.

athousandleaves said:

Except she is looking for some one who she can cheat on and not feel guilty because the guy will cheat on her back. She didn't even ask if I was willing to treat her bad, she just kind of sensed that I was a softee. Her words were something like "I am going to sleep around and you're not bad enough to cheat on."

Click to expand...

Woah. Say what now?

You need to get a leather jacket, join a motorcycle gang, and grow a beard. Maybe then you will be bad enough for her Good luck man, I'll be in your situation a few years from now probably.

Gothmother: Thank you for your words. They made my day.

Brian: Essentially, I think she was telling me that she likes me (and I don't believe it), but she likes her way of life better which is sleeping around with people who are also sleeping around. She also told me that when she cheats on me, she would feel bad because I can't do anything to get back at her. She told me that she would prefer an even playing field. Yeah, it made me scratch my head for a while (after banging it against a wall)

Gothmother said:

athousandleaves said:

This has happened to me countless times. What to do I need to do get women? Do I need to start out by abusing them immediately? I don't understand, why does following the rules make me undesirable? Do I need to join the ******* mafia?

Click to expand...

No you dont want go go and do that, your looking at the wrong type of woman, look beyond the bubble of bad and you will get what you want.(did that make sence?)
Wimmin who like the "bad boy" repeatedly get hurt over and over again, and the sad thing is, they put up with it and thats what ive never realy understood.
Maybe it is the thrill, the excitment of being with someone wild, maybe its an insecurity thing,but personaly someone treated me crappy again, id tell them to sling it as im worth more then that.
Dont be angry,that makes bitterness,but turn it into a positive learning curve.

Click to expand...

Being attracted to the bad boy type doesn't always mean that. Some women get right along with the bad boy type, and for others, it's more difficult for them to understand what they are really like.

Caesium said:

You need to get a leather jacket, join a motorcycle gang, and grow a beard. Maybe then you will be bad enough for her Good luck man, I'll be in your situation a few years from now probably.

Click to expand...

I don't think it will be so hard for you. Especially with a leather jacket? You'll be cool dude.

athousandleaves said:

Lonesome Crow said:

That's becuase you're not cool...man
will...did you make her laugh ? Can she feel like she can breath
being around you . Or it's like trying to fit a elephant into a door
knob or walking egg shells. Sometimes you have to lighten up.
Don't make her feel like less of a human being just to be around you.
Have a pillow fight with her, jump on the bed, splatter confetti all over the house....etc.
Use her lipstick to write i love you on the mirror so she'll see it in the morning....stuff like that.
Have sex with her on the hood of the car or the washing machine...dude.

F- that honeysuckle...all work and no play. Make it fun to be around ya.

Seriously, I don't take myself too serious all the time.
Yeah..I'm a recoverying perfectionist too...lmao

So you're a lonely dude that has a job with a second degree and can't do no wrong eh ?

You'll only attack people that about as sick or as well as you are..
Are you sure you're not the sick one ?..just joking.

Click to expand...

I wouldn't say that I'm some kind of straight laced poker face guy. I am actually kind of funny and with his woman in question we do have a fun time together. Except she is looking for some one who she can cheat on and not feel guilty because the guy will cheat on her back. She didn't even ask if I was willing to treat her bad, she just kind of sensed that I was a softee. Her words were something like "I am going to sleep around and you're not bad enough to cheat on."

I don't look down on people, because I know that there are people who dropped out of high school and are way better off than I am (especially in this country, Japan). In general I try to encourage people, especially people who aren't in a good position, and I also tend to accept people regardless of what they are, good, bad, low, disabled or whatever, but I guess people don't do the same thing back to me. Instead I just get rejected because I'm "good".

I'm probably through with this one, she's the kind who is pretty one-sided and has her own way of doing things. It's pointless to beg someone to take me.

Click to expand...

sorry about that....

it's not that hard to figure out what a healty relationship should
be like.

I say...run like hell. She's a phyco *****, before you get sick.
Even though a break up is still going to hurt. I'm not sure how
long you have been with her.

It's already messing with ya...you're second guessing yourself.
You don't need that honeysuckle. Or you just want a fresia partner.
That's why....I hate women like that. fresia her hard like a ***** that she is.
Wear a full suit rubber though All you have to do is have sex with her less than every 72 hours.
Women get physically and emotionally attach to thier sex partners for 72 hours after sex.
Term it an open relationship just to justify her BS or whatever the heck way she's trying to justify it...miss porn star.lmao

sorry ladies.

I wouldn't say that I'm some kind of straight laced poker face guy. I am actually kind of funny and with his woman in question we do have a fun time together. Except she is looking for some one who she can cheat on and not feel guilty because the guy will cheat on her back. She didn't even ask if I was willing to treat her bad, she just kind of sensed that I was a softee. Her words were something like "I am going to sleep around and you're not bad enough to cheat on."


oh wow. well...you mustve touched a nerve in her...some bit of her concience to have her tell you that she couldnt hurt you. Its almost like saying "I dont deserve someone who will treat me as good as you will because I'm not a good person." She cant justify her bad behavior around you. Its...actually a good thing in a twisted sense. Shows she has some sort of concience.

i'd say let her go. At least she is being honest with you.

[/quote]sorry about that....

it's not that hard to figure out what a healty relationship should
be like.

I say...run like hell. She's a phyco *****, before you get sick.
Even though a break up is still going to hurt. I'm not sure how
long you have been with her.

It's already messing with ya...you're second guessing yourself.
You don't need that honeysuckle. Or you just want a fresia partner.
That's why....I hate women like that. fresia her hard like a ***** that she is.
Wear a full suit rubber though All you have to do is have sex with her less than every 72 hours.
Women get physically and emotionally attach to thier sex partners for 72 hours after sex.
Term it an open relationship just to justify her BS or whatever the heck way she's trying to justify it...miss porn star.lmao

sorry ladies.
[/quote]

uhhhh....

wow.

that...

just...
wow...

*feels vastly uncomfortable*

Revenge never works out and anger is pointless imo. Dont do the revenge bit. I doubt you will too.

"fresia her like the ***** she is???"

i'm sorry but that offends me. I dont care how bad the woman is. Dont sink to her level. Just let her go.

*shakes head*

sorry about that....
It's already messing with ya...you're second guessing yourself.
You don't need that honeysuckle. Or you just want a fresia partner.
That's why....I hate women like that. fresia her hard like a ***** that she is.
Wear a full suit rubber though All you have to do is have sex with her less than every 72 hours.
Women get physically and emotionally attach to thier sex partners for 72 hours after sex.
Term it an open relationship just to justify her BS or whatever the heck way she's trying to justify it...miss porn star.lmao

sorry ladies.
[/quote]

uhhhh....

wow.

that...

just...
wow...

*feels vastly uncomfortable*

Revenge never works out and anger is pointless imo. Dont do the revenge bit. I doubt you will too.

"fresia her like the ***** she is???"

i'm sorry but that offends me. I dont care how bad the woman is. Dont sink to her level. Just let her go.

*shakes head*
[/quote]

Yeah... when someone says something like that, it never fails to make me faintly sick. Would it put things in the perspective if I said about a man, for example, "Rip him off for what he's worth and ditch him like the lowly scum he is"..? Or some such.

Silvernight said:

sorry about that....
It's already messing with ya...you're second guessing yourself.
You don't need that honeysuckle. Or you just want a fresia partner.
That's why....I hate women like that. fresia her hard like a ***** that she is.
Wear a full suit rubber though All you have to do is have sex with her less than every 72 hours.
Women get physically and emotionally attach to thier sex partners for 72 hours after sex.
Term it an open relationship just to justify her BS or whatever the heck way she's trying to justify it...miss porn star.lmao

sorry ladies.

Click to expand...

uhhhh....

wow.

that...

just...
wow...

*feels vastly uncomfortable*

Revenge never works out and anger is pointless imo. Dont do the revenge bit. I doubt you will too.

"fresia her like the ***** she is???"

i'm sorry but that offends me. I dont care how bad the woman is. Dont sink to her level. Just let her go.

*shakes head*
[/quote]

Yeah... when someone says something like that, it never fails to make me faintly sick. Would it put things in the perspective if I said about a man, for example, "Rip him off for what he's worth and ditch him like the lowly scum he is"..? Or some such.
[/quote]

its still wrong even if its a guy you say that about imo. Just leave them to their own devices...and if you can, try to prevent others from getting hurt from this person.

so no i guess it doesnt...put things in perspective for me i mean. sorry. *shrug*

SophiaGrace said:

Silvernight said:

sorry about that....
It's already messing with ya...you're second guessing yourself.
You don't need that honeysuckle. Or you just want a fresia partner.
That's why....I hate women like that. fresia her hard like a ***** that she is.
Wear a full suit rubber though All you have to do is have sex with her less than every 72 hours.
Women get physically and emotionally attach to thier sex partners for 72 hours after sex.
Term it an open relationship just to justify her BS or whatever the heck way she's trying to justify it...miss porn star.lmao

sorry ladies.

Click to expand...

uhhhh....

wow.

that...

just...
wow...

*feels vastly uncomfortable*

Revenge never works out and anger is pointless imo. Dont do the revenge bit. I doubt you will too.

"fresia her like the ***** she is???"

i'm sorry but that offends me. I dont care how bad the woman is. Dont sink to her level. Just let her go.

*shakes head*

Click to expand...

Yeah... when someone says something like that, it never fails to make me faintly sick. Would it put things in the perspective if I said about a man, for example, "Rip him off for what he's worth and ditch him like the lowly scum he is"..? Or some such.
[/quote]

its still wrong even if its a guy you say that about imo. Just leave them to their own devices...and if you can, try to prevent others from getting hurt from this person.

so no i guess it doesnt...put things in perspective for me i mean. sorry. *shrug*
[/quote]

Hmm, I think we misunderstood each other. I was also referring to LC's words with an intention to say that they're rather offensive. I gave an example about a guy to reinforce the point. No one should be treated this way, obviously.

Silvernight said:

SophiaGrace said:

Silvernight said:

sorry about that....
It's already messing with ya...you're second guessing yourself.
You don't need that honeysuckle. Or you just want a fresia partner.
That's why....I hate women like that. fresia her hard like a ***** that she is.
Wear a full suit rubber though All you have to do is have sex with her less than every 72 hours.
Women get physically and emotionally attach to thier sex partners for 72 hours after sex.
Term it an open relationship just to justify her BS or whatever the heck way she's trying to justify it...miss porn star.lmao

sorry ladies.

Click to expand...

uhhhh....

wow.

that...

just...
wow...

*feels vastly uncomfortable*

Revenge never works out and anger is pointless imo. Dont do the revenge bit. I doubt you will too.

"fresia her like the ***** she is???"

i'm sorry but that offends me. I dont care how bad the woman is. Dont sink to her level. Just let her go.

*shakes head*

Click to expand...

Yeah... when someone says something like that, it never fails to make me faintly sick. Would it put things in the perspective if I said about a man, for example, "Rip him off for what he's worth and ditch him like the lowly scum he is"..? Or some such.

Click to expand...

its still wrong even if its a guy you say that about imo. Just leave them to their own devices...and if you can, try to prevent others from getting hurt from this person.

so no i guess it doesnt...put things in perspective for me i mean. sorry. *shrug*
[/quote]

Hmm, I think we misunderstood each other. I was also referring to LC's words with an intention to say that they're rather offensive. I gave an example about a guy to reinforce the point. No one should be treated this way, obviously.
[/quote]

ohhhhhhh. ok. XD i did misunderstand. ((Silver))