Loneliness at home

I feel an intense loneliness at home, living with my mother. The problem is that...we hardly talk. I mean, we talk, but we don't TALK, if you know what I mean. Our conversations pretty much revolve around crap and I never feel like I'm appreciated. When the tv is on (which is all day and night) and her shows are on, my sister and I can't really open out mouths because we get told to be quiet.

That rejection causes such a sadness in my heart. I never feel like she wants to hear anything I have to say. She's quite an introvert; her life revolves around her tv shows for the most part (seriously, it gets ridiculous. Our coffee table is covered with VHS tapes- shows she's taped over the week. She just sits and catches up her shows, every single day). She never really sees friends (and she only really has one or two friends). I feel like her lifestyle is rubbing off on me, and I despise it. I do NOT want to be in constant seclusion. But I am. I hardly see my friends (and I myself don't have too many), and don't leave the house that much.

I feel like I'm in such a rut and that I'm wasting my life. I feel like it's never going to get better. And I just don't know what to do anymore...I mean, I'm TRYING to do more things (go for walks, go to the shops, etc) but I never feel like it's enough.

During the semester (Uni) I went to see a counselor every week or so, and I'm starting to miss talking to someone. He listened, and didn't tell me to shut up. I can't afford a therapist or anything, so I guess I'm going to have to wait until next year to see a Uni counselor again...

I just feel so lonely, unwanted, and secluded and it's such a burden. I never used to cry but these days, I'm crying quite a lot.

Why is it so hard to find somebody to talk to?

I think we all just need a listening friend.

A friend that is willing to hear us out so that we can feel more relaxed.

Are u an extrovert?

Yeah...Isolation sucks. i've been there and done that.

Yeah walking on eggshells at home totally sucks ass too...been there too.
That **** elephant in the living room ..keeping every one
at bay so the insanity continue or dsyfuntional gets past on to another generation.
Unhealthy living that's for sure. It's mental and emotional abuse.
Withholding love and effections...excuse my french but she's being a STONE COLD B.

You are well..or a part of you is figthin the sickness..that's why it's bothering you.
Or you feel you're getting sicker and sicker by the insanity.
Your pains or feelings are telling you ...."Something is WRONG", but you're mother is too deep
into her addiction to give a honeysuckle.
YOu know..you can't change her...but you can change or save yourself and maybe help your sister.
You have a chance to break the cycle of insanity and prevent the cycle from being pass to your children.

Family will make us...unfoutunately some of us has family that breaks us.
You can't say anything to her...obvivously...she will make you feel like honeysuckle or feel bad about yorself.
Perhaps..maybe drama or whatever argument that might arrise if you want to communicate with her.

I'm not sure where you live. You can going to Al-anon
or CoDA. Or you can try a local mental healty department.
Even the local Healty department will have a couselor you
can talk to or maybe a couselor will listen to you.

Your mother has typical alcoholicism triats.
Or her illness is escaping from life into TV..(her addiction of chioce.)

Al-anon or Al la-teen is a support group.
You can even try ACOA.
You can talk about your problems in a meeting...people will listen
to you. Poeple have gone through the samething you're going through
They will love you and care about you. They will help guide you.
You can even talk to someone after a meeting.
Attending these support groups had help me alot. It gets
me out of isolations and I've met people that can relate to
me in what I'm going through. Talking about it helps.
They can hear hear me....or listen and understand what i'm saying.

The meetings are FREE and are avalible in most communities
in the USA.

Thanks SilentThinker, I agree. It's nice to talk to someone...and feel wanted. And well, I consider myself an extroverted introvert (or an introverted extrovert, hah). I'm sorta mixed in between.

Lonesome Crow, I do think she has an addiction to tv which isn't healthy, but what am I going to do? She doesn't see it as harmful cause it's not a substance...but I see how it's sucked her in. I would say 90% of the time she brings up tv in conversation (to the family and to others) and when we're out, she complains that she's not back at home catching up her tv shows. And also she sometimes plans her day around her tv (I'll just watch ___ show, then go out and do ___, then I'll come back and catch up ___).

It's really, really sad...

And I live in Australia, so I'm not sure what type of programs we have running here but I looked into a Lifeline thing (supposedly free single/group counseling) but they're booked out for quite a while...so yeah :/

I do have situations that I am staying at home,and I am the so called "very introvert" type and my extrovert brother pleads to go out.

Spending too much time on tv is not really good.Maybe you can spend time out with your mother.

I know what you mean my mother isn't the greatest in having conversations she hardly says a thing and when I try to talk to her she acts as if I didn't say anything and doesn't give an opinion or advice. She's a good mother all in all just that's who she is, years ago she used to talk non stop I don't know what has happendso I've turned to the net to get my social interaction and I'm glad I did without it I would go crazy and insane and I've been in that space of time quite often. I'm just grateful that I have people around me now a few years back I was in a relationship and we owned a business so my partner was working nearly 7 days a week and on my days off I would be at home starving for some companionship but back then all I had was the television which is a poor substitute I swear it hurt my self esteem as all I could think about was the people who had friends and what they were doing. If I had known there were chat rooms things might have been different but I don't think so as it would have been hard for me to talk let alone trying to talk to someone else.

I basically live at home that's my sanctuary it's the only place I have known, I'm not the type to go out and do things like sports or hobbies which I really need to start doing but I don't have a job so financially that's hard. I've thought about when I have kids and what I am going to do with them I think I'll put them into a sport or a musical instrument anything to stop them from going down the road I did. I can't even be bothered window shopping what's the point can't buy anything and once you've seen it you've seen it all.

So to pass time all I have been doing is staying on the internet maybe I'll play a game or read but that's about that and I hate to say it "But what the hell am I doing with my life!". I've got another 40 years on this earth figure I will die in my 70's hopefully I don't live anymore years than that and now I have to sort out what I'm going to do with my life.

melleh said:

I feel an intense loneliness at home, living with my mother. The problem is that...we hardly talk. I mean, we talk, but we don't TALK, if you know what I mean. Our conversations pretty much revolve around crap and I never feel like I'm appreciated. When the tv is on (which is all day and night) and her shows are on, my sister and I can't really open out mouths because we get told to be quiet.

That rejection causes such a sadness in my heart.

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I grew up with a mom like this, too. It is hard. You wont be able to start healing until you get away from her. Every day you are confronted with her neglectful behavior, so of course you will not be able to heal living in that environment. try to move out as soon as you can.