What to do when you have feelings for someone on the other side of the world........

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ragingbull17

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who you've never even met.

Here's the situation. I'm a 21 year old male from England who has never had anything to do with girls whatsoever. I've been sending daily messages to this 25 year old girl who lives in Australia for nearly 2 years and we tell each other pretty much everything. She's never had a boyfriend and I know we're just perfect for each other and the thing is, I'm developing real intense feelings for her. She's the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning and the last thing I think about before I go to bed. I'm falling in love with a woman who I have two photos of, have never met and lives on the other side of the world to me. Any suggestions are welcome because I feel as if I'm going absolutely crazy.

Thanks.
 
Take things slow. Before you make any life changing decisions, get together. Meet in person a couple time for as long a period as you can. I've made a couple moves for women now and I ...... well, that's where the advice comes from.
 
Has she ever been to England? Why don't you invite her to visit, offer to show her around. Its a great opportunity to get to know eachother better. Its a nice gesture, whether she takes you up on it or not won't matter, she will appreciate the thought. And if she really likes you and is feeling a bit adventurous she just might do it.
 
If this were to ever happen to me, I would hope that the person would move to where I am, seeing how I can't really move for certain reasons in my life. I think I'm starting to like someone who's halfway around the world myself, and I can't help it. =/
 
That's a toughie... while feelings are totally real, you've got to look at practicality and expense. I might totally fall in love with someone in Russia, but getting there would be more than my poor salary could accommodate.

That leaves options such as hijacking cruise ships, paying pilots to divert from the scheduled course, and the ever popular hitch-hike across the atlantic.

On a real note, however, it's going to be tricky, and you should use the phone/letters as often as possible until your bank account gets in line with your heart!
 
Ask her if she would like to meet you.
Whether you go to Australia or she goes to England should be all the same,
the important thing is that you ask if she's interested in meeting you,
and if she says yes then you two figure out who visits who first.

I agree with aFIREinside80, it's important to talk on the phone and maybe send letters until one of you can afford to visit.
Webcam and microphone sessions are great, lots of photos, phonecalls, emails, mobile texts - There's lots of ways to communicate.
If you want to call her on her house phone for only 0.5p (half a pence) you just dial 0844 200 4040 and her number when told :)
I used this type of service loads to call Norway cheaply when I lived in London.
You can check it out here - International CallChecker
Select country and scroll down to see numbers and price.
Only go for green coloured providers. Easy :)

If you meet up it's important that you get to know how the other one is like in real life.
I would suggest getting a nice meal together, doing some sightseeing
and a fun activity/game to loosen things up and enjoy each others company.
Communication is key, as I'm sure you know ;)

If you both at some point end up falling head over heels in love it will mean one of you will have to move to the other side of the globe.
Whoever moves must be sure they are doing the right thing for themselves, and not regret whatever they leave behind in their home country.
For example, if a person is very attached to their family they have to be sure that they'll be able to live on the other side of the globe from them, and only see them a couple of times a year or so.

ANYway, that's not for you to think of yet :)
Ask her to meet first, and take it from there.

There are several people here on the forum who are in long-distance relationships, myself included.
With large distances I would personally say that it can work for a certain amount of time,
but the best thing when you know you've found the love of your life is without a doubt to live together, not apart.

Wish you all the best!! =D

*Hugs*
 
You know, it's always a tough situation and it usually turns out one of two ways. My dad, he met his current wife online. She lived halfway across the country...but they've been together 6 or 7 years now. They've had their moments, but they're very happy together.

Mine is a different story.

I met a really awesome girl playing Everquest. Gorgeous, smart, interesting...we could talk for hours. I felt like I had fallen in love with her. She seemed like everything I could hope for. When I met her in person, it was a different story. She was kinda shy, I was kinda shy. Didn't really talk. Very awkward. We already 'knew' one another because we'd talked so much...but we weren't used to eachother's presence, if that makes sense. And there were no 'small talk' topics left to break the ice.

Needless to say we aren't 'together' anymore. She's got a boyfriend now and all I have is a few pictures and an empty feeling that likes to manifest as a vivid dream to torture me every now and then.


My advice is to meet her, but be aware of this special obstacle of knowing eachother without physical presence. I highly advise talking on the phone to hear eachothers voices until arrangements can be made, and see from there.
 
Unacceptance said:

This :)

Go visit. If nothing else you get to see a bit of the world and even if she is nothing like you hope when you meat then you learn about yourself. What is the worst that can happen? You end up with no place to stay.

Be a good story to tell in later life how you went to the other side of the world in the name of love. Just do it man.

Nothing venchard nothing gained.
 
Thanks. I don't know how she'd feel about me calling her on the phone. She's very shy and nervous like myself. I only know I need to do something or I'll end up exploding. Particular thanks to Oceanmist23 for being such a great help, but thanks to everyone.
 
ragingbull17 said:
Thanks. I don't know how she'd feel about me calling her on the phone. She's very shy and nervous like myself. I only know I need to do something or I'll end up exploding. Particular thanks to Oceanmist23 for being such a great help, but thanks to everyone.

I'm not one with good advice, but all I got to say is to ragingbull17 is "go get her tiger"!
 
I would say be careful. Obviously I don’t know your situation anymore than what you have said in your post and only you will know how you really feel about this person deep down. It’s just when you meet someone online and get to know them through words only it’s very easy to portray them in your mind as something more than they actually are. Which then opens you up for disappointment when you finally meet and it’s not quite what you imagined.
I would say definitely do webcam and phone calls before you or her go flying halfway round the world to meet up because if it doesn’t work out that’s a very expensive way of finding out! But if you get on well talking over webcam and phone and you’re still interested then you can decide if she’s worth visiting. You said that you're both shy so it could be much better to face each over webcam first before meeting up as if things are getting awkward you can have an “oops my computer crashed” moment to think what to say before facing her again!
Just go slowly and make sure you’re certain about what you want before doing anything. Whatever you do though, good luck!
 

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