18 and seeking marriage. Your thoughts?

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ablounge24x7

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So I am 18 years old, and yet I wouldn't mind being married at all. I am very paranoid when it comes to anything, and sometimes I think being married/being in a serious relationship could solve most of those problems. 2 years ago, I ended up being in an awful relationship, where he abused me: physically and mentally. It was horrible. I even tried to kill myself a few times because of him. It got to a point where I had to transfer schools and start life all over again. Don't get me wrong, I like where I am now (sort of)...but I always feel this pang of loneliness and sadness, without having a man to tell you he loves you (dads don't count) or call you, or tell you how pretty you are or how much you mean to him. No one to brag about, no one to hang onto when you go out or when you're crying...none of that. No one to bring you roses after every show or to take you out when you deserve something. My point being, all you have is yourself- and sometimes that just isn't enough.
I know that I have a few years ahead of me, or that I'm to busy in this point in my life to even think something like this...but I am very lonely, and very confused.
After that guy I just mentioned, I tried to start talking to other guys. I think the number has risen to over 20 in the past 2 years. However, they ALL cut things off. The whole, "I don't want to be in a relationship right now" card; but then they turn round 2 months later and low and behold, they're dating some other chick. Sometimes I think that guys don't talk to me, not just because of my HORRIBLE insecurity problems, but because of my looks. There are days when I think that I am one of the prettiest persons on earth, and others when I could kill myself because I don't think I make the grade. I don't know how other girls my age, who are very pretty and skinny (I wear a size 10/12, generally), have very attractive boyfriends...and I don't. Is it because of my personality, or because of my size?

...I don't understand. I just want 1 guy to last me for the rest of my life. The whole "Prince Charming" ordeal; the man of my dreams. He must exist, right? With 6 billion people in the word, there must be. Right?

Am I crazy?
 
I'm 20, and I haven't minded for a few years now. I probably won't get married, but still, I wouldn't mind. I suppose sharing your life with someone would be awesome. So, no, you're not crazy. Your perfect person exists for you. :)
 
I got married when I was 19..My ex-wf was 18.
We both love each other very much.
Obviously it wasn't our intension to get a deviorced.

After the honey moon was over...i seldom saw my wife..
Our work and schooling sechdule did not help us at all.
We had extra responsiblities we brought upon ourselves.

I love my ex-wife very, very much...but a part of me
was still way too young. I struggle being a husband she
wanted me to be..I struggle at being a daddy to my daugther.
I think i needed 5-6 more years to mature and to know what it's really like to be a man.
 
marriage doesnt solve problems, It just makes hundreds more. being 18 and single, life is simple. dont complicate things lol.

I think pretty girls find it harder to find a nice guy, because the nice guys are usually too scared to approach a beautiful girl. And if your the quiet type, they may mistake that as a lack of interest. My advise is take advantage of your freedom now while you can :p
 
I'm really very sorry to hear how that pig treated you. I'm glad that you've come through it though. I, like you, believe in "the one" and look forward to the day of marriage. I have been with the same guy now for 4+ years, although it hasn't been easy, due to it being a long distance relationship (he lives in England, I live in the US) but I really feel that he is the one. I'm 21 right now, but before I met him (I was 17, like Van) I had given up all hope and thought no one would want me. I can so relate to not liking how I look one day then the next thinking "Huh, I'm actually rather pretty"; I still feel that way, and I'm a size 14/16. =\ I believe that eventually, once you stop seeking it out, it comes to you. I'm a hopeless romantic and can relate to you, so I really think that you will find him, just when the time is right. :)
 
A husband is not going to solve your problems, and you're too young to know how to have a lasting marriage.

Age at marriage for those who divorce in America (female):
Under 20 years old: 27.6%
20 to 24 years old: 36.6%
25 to 29 years old: 16.4%
30 to 34 years old: 8.5%
35 to 39 years old: 5.1%

Age at marriage for those who divorce in America (male):
Under 20 years old: 11.7%
20 to 24 years old: 38.8%
25 to 29 years old: 22.3%
30 to 34 years old: 11.6%
35 to 39 years old: 6.5%

This is top-secret information. Use it wisely.
 
I'd say society in general doesn't know how to have a lasting marriage (anymore). Not just young people.

I'm sorry for what you went through and I wish you the best. However, just because you partake in a formal binding ceremony doesn't mean somebody wouldn't abuse you or cheat on you. That would imply people actually stick to their vows or place sanctity on the union, which unfortunately, most don't. It's a person you have to look for, not a binding contract. Good luck finding him, he's out there and you deserve it.
 
you guys are awesome. your advice is genuine, and i can totally relate to hat you're all saying. thank you for being so amazing and helping me out.
 
Seems a little young to be looking for disappointment.

Also, you don't have a few years ahead of you. You have a LOT of years (Unless you are like, terminally ill or have access to a time machine where you foresee your own demise or something) ahead of you. A lot of long, tiresome years with which to make peace with yourself.

I wish I had more useful relationship advice, but frankly I don't think a relationship is going to somehow fix your personal issues with yourself.
 
I know this thread is from 5 years ago & I can't help but to wonder where you are now & how things have progressed since this thread... I personally don't think there's anything wrong with getting married at 18... Sometimes you just can't focus on negative things...
 

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