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#21
Mood: *Sigh*
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#22
Next time i'll just stay out of it, instead of getting a "fuck you" for trying.
[Image: 106799.jpg]
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#23
Hello Everyone! I'm lonely and bored out of my mind!!! Here's a picture of some pretty orchids.
[Image: purple_orchid_8x12.jpg]
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#24
Punisher Wrote:Next time i'll just stay out of it, instead of getting a "fuck you" for trying.

huh???
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#25
EveWasFramed Wrote:
Punisher Wrote:Next time i'll just stay out of it, instead of getting a "fuck you" for trying.

huh???

Lol, I wrote that a long time ago, and now i can't remember why Big Grin
[Image: 106799.jpg]
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#26
Oh, OK :p
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#27
I'm bummed. I've been single for over seven years now, and have had no luck finding a girl. Every time I try, something either gets in the way, or she's not interested, blah blah blah. I don't have the energy to even pursue dating anymore. Trying to get to know a girl, talking to her, building things up from there.... it's getting really old. What is going on here? Am I that incompatible? Am I just not what women are looking for?

Sigh. I don't know. Maybe some of you have some words of wisdom, or something... I'm exhausted. There is a void in me that has not been filled, and any hopes of it being filled have only been false.

Thank you.
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#28
I feel mega-lonely when I'm at work and have NOTHING to busy at!
and keep refreshing this site and end up with no new replies AT ALL...
Its not like I'm lonely cuz I prefer to be lonely,its cuz there s no way OUT rather than stick to my loneliness. otherwise I get afraid,I get worried,I get panicked,I get this weird feeling of somebody just turn me inside-out...
I don't know what is wrong with me...I am so much in need of somebody just to talk to..
A Belief is like a Guillotine, just as heavy, just as light.
---FRANZ KAFKA


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#29
(12-25-2009, 06:09 PM)The_Darkness Wrote: I'm bummed. I've been single for over seven years now, and have had no luck finding a girl. Every time I try, something either gets in the way, or she's not interested, blah blah blah. I don't have the energy to even pursue dating anymore. Trying to get to know a girl, talking to her, building things up from there.... it's getting really old. What is going on here? Am I that incompatible? Am I just not what women are looking for?

Sigh. I don't know. Maybe some of you have some words of wisdom, or something... I'm exhausted. There is a void in me that has not been filled, and any hopes of it being filled have only been false.

Thank you.

Let me see...How can I address this in a way that will help you, sir?

I find it difficult to write this post. I want to offer you something, some (hopefully) God-inspired tidbit that will prove helpful to you in your situation. Hopefully, something that I have experienced in my limited 23 years walking on this earth, or from my even more limited 16 years of experience walking with Jesus.

Terrible feeling, loneliness. Absolutely terrible. There seems to be no emotional experience worse, at least none that I have gone through seem to trump the feeling of complete isolation. It might be encouraging for you to think about the self-doubt that stems from loneliness. First of all, all men everywhere struggle with self-doubt. There are some of us who are more confident than others. There maybe some of us who are more successful in love relationships with women, capable of getting dates easily and without any sort of effort.

However, if any one of these guys tell you that they don't have a problem talking to women, or that they are completely comfortable with them, or that they have found a foolproof method for getting a woman to fall in love with them, the vast majority of them are simply lying. Most of what we as human beings present to other people are carefully formed masks, designed to keep others out and themselves safe. We are all vulnerable. We all have struggles. We all have moments of doubt. Every single one of us, and that goes for both guys and gals.

Second, it might help to think about loneliness and actually being alone. What you are going through is not unique. That does not at all mean that it isn't painful, that it isn't difficult, and that it isn't awful. This forum is proof of that. Women, even beautiful women, struggle with feeling this way, and it seems impossible, I know. You see a gorgeous young woman walk by and you (like most of us) probably assume that she has it all. Everything her heart can desire it seems she can have. Wherever she goes, she knows that she can have guys (especially old-fashioned guys like me) at her beck and call.

But even she can be lonely. She can be in a rotten relationship with a guy who just takes advantage of her all the time. Or, she can be so pretty that most guys won't even approach her, her beauty is that intimidating. And indeed it can be. So, you are not bearing this burden alone, and thinking that you are can hinder you in reaching out to others.

Lastly, consider this. Seven years now you have been single. I imagine that there is a lot fear in approaching women. I have been single for nearly two years now. Before that, I had never even been on a date. Back then, I had asked myself similar questions that you are asking yourself now, and that you have probably been asking for a long time. And since my break-up, I have asked myself those questions again. Where have you placed self-worth? Do you value yourself based on who you are and what you have done, or on what others, especially women, think of you? Or do you see yourself has having some intrinsic sort of worth, a value that is there and identifiable whether you are dating or not? Ask yourself that question and seek the answer honestly. If you need help, seek it. And remember Who it is that has created you, and that He values you very much.

I hope this is helpful. For me, combating negativity is a tricky business, I have had poor self-esteem since I was very young. What has been helpful for me is seeing a therapist, involving myself with others, being active in my church and in the collegiate ministry that I am a part of. I do know how it feels, I have been where you are at right now, and I am there with you right now, wondering the same things about myself, about women ,and about this world we all have to call home. I want to be married, I want to raise a family, I want a wife and kids to come home to in the evenings. Even though right now I do no see my dating situation changing any, I am hopeful that one day, when I least expect, she will come. It won't be perfect, it won't be all I have imagined it to be, but I fully believe God has plan for me and I am not yet willing to give up on it. You should not be either.
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#30
I'm wondering if the anger,sadness and bitter feelings will ever go away. I'm tired of feeling bitter toward people who are happy;whether they've found lost love,or lost love...I wish I were one of those people..I'm pissed off that sometimes the veterans of the forums say that they're bored with people like me,because we're single,and hurting. Well,shit...we are single and hurting and sometimes it's easier for others to ignore it and not give a shit from day to day,but for me and those other people,we're constantly reminded of how lonely we are,every day...I just want the triggers to stop and be positive and not wallow in my sadness. I've fucking felt like this for years and it hurts. I don't want to think that I'll never fucking find someone and this festering pain in my heart will never go away,or I'll do something stupid. I can't talk to my family,because they don't believe in medicine (for cultural reasons...),and think that it's as simple as just losing weight. I'm trying,and it's so hard. I know what I need to do to set the wheels in motion,but I..don't really care about myself. I feel worthless,I don't know what I'd be living for after I decide to lose all my weight. Maybe I'd find someone,but what if I don't? God. I need to sleep.
"Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go." - Herman Hesse
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