Oh crap told a girl I miss her on facebook bad idea?

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Innerpeace

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Okay heres the deal. I've been working with this girl I probably see once a week at work for over a year now, i'm in university, she is in her last year of highschool and just turned 18, i'm 23.

Anyways I've talked to her at work for a long time now and I kept on getting a feeling that she likes me and I also really like a lot, like had a big crush on her for a long time now.

Anyways I gave up on trying to eventually ask her out because she'd give me mixed signals. Some weeks she'd come around me a lot at work and we'd talk a lot and other weeks she'd pretend like she doesn't even care or not even come around me.

anyways I know she doesn't hate me but I don't know if she actually likes me more than thinking i'm just a nice guy which I am. She once was telling me at work about how she doesn't like some people at work and then told me how she likes me.

ok anyways I signed up for facebook the other day and the next day she added me as a friend (I didn't request it she added me). she probably just saw me in the field of people you may know form work etc and added me.

so I went to her wall and posted and said hey happy bday because it was her baday recently.

then I send her a private message lol. And now I'm not sure if I screwed up. I said hey blank how's it going. I haven't seen you at work for a while now you never work weekends anymore. And then I said I really miss seeing you at work..... and you should work weekends.

I also wrote it partly in german lol because I speak german and she is german but we only speak english at work. is that weird? I don't know why I wrote some german in there lol.

anyways I hadn't seen her for 2-3 weeks now because she hadn't worked weekends but I checked my work schedule and she works this weekend so I will see her on sunday......

when I see her this sunday she may feel uncomortable maybe when she first sees me after 3 weeks and I sent her a message saying that I missed seeing her at work?

Again i'm not sure if she actually likes me or not. she sent a lot of messages to me that she does like me and hinting she wants to date me I think. like once she sat next to me at lunch and discussed with her girlfriend about how she'd like to date an older guy in his 20s. would that be a hint she was trying to give me? I think so.

but then the week after at work I asked her if she wants to come to lunch with me and go for a drive to get food and she asked me ' do I have too?" and said no only if you want to and she said ok then I dont' want to.

so when I see her on sunday should I just try and stay relaxed and say "hey so got my message" or bring it up casually or not bring it up at all?

it's not like i told her that I love her or anything I just said I missed seeign her at work. but she knows I like her.

I dunno maybe I'm just overthinking this.

I really like this girl so I thought I should just tell her I missed seeing her at work which I did.

it's stupid that I should feel embarassed for sharing my feelings about her. is telling someone you miss them or like them something to feel embarassed about?

I don't think so but i"m still scared about seeing her for some reason.
 
I don't think you overstepped anything. The German might've been -kinda- weird, though. :p

When you see her just be like "Hey, long time no see!" or something. I think that'd be your best bet, play it cool. See how things go and suggest you go get lunch to catch up or something.
 
yeah over thinking it...

There's no telling what gose on inside a woman's mind.
Many, many men had tried to figure out how women thinks...
Many, many men went nucken futz in the process :p

Fears are natural to have...trying to figure out tommorrow or the unknown will general doubts and fear.
Fear of gettting rejected....

Yeah stay relax and in the moment...Lowering your expectations will give you a relax posture.
Or you can simply be straight up with her...and tell her you have a major crush on her.
Or try tapping her on her arms or slighthly tap her on her shoulder.
Body contacts or body talk. It's easier to read her body then her mind...:p
 
today I saw her and she smiled at me and I asked her so did you get my message and she smiled and say 'yeah'.

I talked a bit to her during break.

then the rest of the day for some reason she started ignoring me.... like obviously not talking to me and avoiding me......

she confuses me. she added me to facebook right when I signed up.. like the next day.

in the morning she smiled at me when she saw me and seemed cool.

then she basicly ignored me the rest of the day.

I went up to her once and she was like "huh" and didn't want to talk to me.

this is hurting me a lot because sometimes I thinks she likes me and then other times she just looks like she just doesn't give a crap at all about me....

this just hurts me a lot because I really really like her..... I feel like I keep on getting stabbed in the heart.

maybe I shouldn't have told her I miss seeing her on facebook.

she knows I like her so if she does this to me she must not care?

she does seem a bit shy but she can't be that shy.
 
I remembered that there was a time that I liked a girl very much.

Spent time with her but she chose to aviod me here and there.Maybe she tinking of making u only as a friend?
 
SilentThinker said:
I remembered that there was a time that I liked a girl very much.

Spent time with her but she chose to aviod me here and there.Maybe she tinking of making u only as a friend?

from an older woman's point of view, she's enjoying the attention from you hunny, i would cool it for a while or even ask someone else out. then i bet she'll find some way to come into contact with u again. if she dosen't then u gotta move on anyway & find someone else 2 take your mind off her. good luck babe xx
 
Nice tactics, taking things slowly. I once got a crush on a girl and I told my friend. My friend spread it all over the school. And everytime I tries to talk to her or even when sitting next to her, she avoids me, like moving her chair away from me. I feel shame pouring over me, why did I told my friend, why did I do that......should've talked to her first, since we aren't friends yet, we're like strangers back then. But..... turns out thing aren't that way. I added her on msn ages ago, but she never talked to me, some day after the news was spread, she start talking to me and we're going out really good. Its just that sometimes girls are really shy, talk to her in private, maybe that'll work. Complicated are girls. Good luck.
 
Indeed, perhaps she's just shy? I'm shy and I bet anything that I often come off as someone who "doesn't give a honeysuckle" even though it's just the opposite. I'm deeply annoyed by that myself.
 
you guys think so? there are so many contradictory signs that it has made me go crazy cus I have started to really like her for a long time. funny thing is I've worked with her for a year and a half now but I've only started liking her for about a year now. I started talking to her at work and now I can't stop thinking about her.

there is also an age diff she's 18 and graduating from highschool in a couple months and i'm 23 and 4th year in university. I don't think the age plays a role in this anyways.


I have thought it about it but there are so many contradcitory signs.

signs she might like me?

- times when she is not ignoring me, she gives me a big smile whenever I pass her at work. she'd stop and chat with me.
- I've caught her looking at me from a distance at work and then she turns away.
- again times when she is not ignoring me she comes and sits next to me during lunch, and when we are on lunch and her break is over she tells her friend they should stay a little longer.

- like a month ago she sat next to me at lunch and was talking with her friend about how she'd like to date an older guy like around 25. i'm not 25 but 23 but I don't see why else she'd sit next to me and tell her friend that. or maybe i'm wrong.

-last week she was ignoring me but she still sat next to me at lunch for a few minutes before leaving and we were watching a show about Africa and I said how i'd like to go to Africa one day and she said I want to go to and her friend said " maybe you guys should go together" and I jokingly turned to her and said "want me to take you to Africa?" she didn't say anything lol.

- Also the second day I signed up for facebook, she was the one that added me to facebook but that doesn't really mean anything. she must have seen my name on the people you may know from work and added me.

- sometimes I don't think she is she because when she is not ignoring me she will walk up to me and talk to me. and again telling her friend how she'd want to date an guy in his 20s. but at our work christmas party for example a lot of the girls were dancing and she never got up to dance, thought she must be shy.



okay signs she doesn't like me:

- sometimes it's obvious she's ignoring me, she walks by me not saying anything and not making eye contact, avoiding me at work, not coming around my work area.

-I asked her to come to lunch with me once at work and she said " do I have to?" and said no but if you want to come with me and she, in that case not really, and then she went to lunch with some guy younger than her. that day I thought she must not like me for sure.

-once I went up to her and wanted to talk to her and she just didn't want to talk to me or be around me she was like 'huh" like do i even know you. weird I thought.

seems like when I stop paying attention to her and making it obvious that I like her she'll come back to me.

fact is she obviously knows I like her but she's giving me signals of both liking me and also not.
 
Give her sauerkraut and schnitzel, then she will love you forever and ever.

I'm in a somewhat similar position, albeit with fewer signs that she likes me. She does stand awfully close to me at times though, but maybe that's just how she is.
 
Careful with the just-out-of-highschool girls. They never know what they want.
 
I see this girl only at work once a week if that sometimes I don't see her for 2-3 weeks as they won't give her a weekend shift and I won't see her then. It sucks.

this weekend I will see her on one day again last week I didn't see her.

she is still in highschool last year and graduating in the end of june. she was telling me she is thinking of going to university in another city 4 hours away because her friend wants to go there...... if she does go there I'll probably never see her again.

anyways this sucks. I wish I never got to like her cus now I still have hope of getting together with her every time I see her which isn't often and then i think about her all the rest of the time when I don't see her.

I can't just ask her out though now she is ignoring me at times then seems interested at other times, if i ask her out now it wouldn't work.

any girls want to chip in and try and interpret all those signs she's giving me, some of interest and some which seems like she's rejecting me.
 
Just go up to her, and ask her out on a date. For all you know, you might just be misreading her signs, and that maybe she doesn't like you at all, or at least, doesn't consider you 'dating material'. Be frank and honest with her. It's best to have a heart-to-heart discussion with her now, before it is too late, and she tears your heart out. The sooner you can be done with this woman, the sooner you can continue your pursuit for a woman who will actually want you and take notice of you. Good luck.
 
Caesium said:
Just go up to her, and ask her out on a date. For all you know, you might just be misreading her signs, and that maybe she doesn't like you at all, or at least, doesn't consider you 'dating material'. Be frank and honest with her. It's best to have a heart-to-heart discussion with her now, before it is too late, and she tears your heart out. The sooner you can be done with this woman, the sooner you can continue your pursuit for a woman who will actually want you and take notice of you. Good luck.

that's much easier said than done. like I said before, a couple months ago I just casually asked her to come to lunch with me , but I asked her to come with me on a drive to get some lunch from somehwere further down and her reply was "do I have to?" I was discouraged by that. I told her no you don't have to just wondering if you want to and said no not really.

so I don't know. it'd get pretty awkward at work if I go and ask her on a date and she says no.
 
no one said it well be easy.

just ask her a date, i believe its the right things to do before it is too late.

and we are here to support you man.

Good luck :]
 
~Z~ said:
no one said it well be easy.

just ask her a date, i believe its the right things to do before it is too late.

and we are here to support you man.

Good luck :]

yeah I really badly want to but I'm scared. I'm 23 and I've only asked one girl out before and that was much easier because we were classmates and I gave her rides home etc and had her phonenumber already and we already had spent time together at school etc.

this girl I just see at work and I bump into her at work and sometimes like recently she's ignoring me.

what do I do go and ask her out when she's obviously avoiding and ignoring me?

plus at work it's hard to get her alone to get to ask her out.

plus the thing is I really really like this girl so i'm going to turn into a mouse when I try to go and ask her out and if she says no it's going to crush me, I don't think I'll be able to work for the rest of the day at work.

everytime I know I'll see her at work like this sunday I get so anxious driving to work knowing I will see her and not knowing if she'll come around me that day or ignore me again.

the other only girl I ever asked out, I didn't have big feeilngs for her like I do for this girl so I asked her out not really caring much if she said no.

it's already been like a year now since I've started liking this girl at work and she also showed what I think are signs she might like me then signs she's rejecting me sometimes changing from one week to another.

it seems like when I pay a lot of attention to her at work like if I look at her too much or go and talk to her whenever I see her at work, she'll start ignoring me, but when I don't go around her and ignore her later on in the day she seems to come around me and talk to me and she smiles at me whenever she sees me then other times she'll walk past me and pretend like i'm not even there.

anyways you can tell i'm going insane.
 
seriously how would I go about asking her out at work when I just talk to her only a bit when I pass by her at work, she's a cashier and I do other things so I don't get to talk to her or see her my whole shift. I see her sometimes when we both take our breaks at the same time or when seh walks by where I work i'll say something to her or sometimes she'll come and talk to me for like a minute or 2 then leave (when she's not ignoring me like I said).

lunch if we both take it at the same time she'll come and sit by me sometimes but there are other people around I can't ask her out with other people around.

this is so difficult.
 
Don't take the word date. Ask her out for lunch like the same time you did last time. And when she asks you "do I have to?" , joke with her like "yes, because the lunch hall stinks as someone farted inside" or "no, but what a waste of free lunch" or just say the food there is so good. Same goes with if we answers stuff like "ummmmm.................."

I got an idea that might be/be not useful. Send her annonymously(recommended) or just give her the link to this post on this forum. This post might be kinda funny for her, but she'll get to know how much you care about her. You could add phrases like "......just want you to know someone's loving/caring about you from behind/within the mist" and add that link.

And when she talk to you about these threads, you could just say some friend of yours sent it. And after a few seconds of predicted silence, ask her out "so, you wanna go eat lunch with me?". You could also joke with her after having her seen this topic, joking with my sample jokes lol (puzzled).

Hope my advices help and wish you good luck.

p.s not offense but a bid or poll to see if you succeeds might be interesting
 
L. Lawliet said:
Don't take the word date. Ask her out for lunch like the same time you did last time. And when she asks you "do I have to?" , joke with her like "yes, because the lunch hall stinks as someone farted inside" or "no, but what a waste of free lunch" or just say the food there is so good. Same goes with if we answers stuff like "ummmmm.................."

I got an idea that might be/be not useful. Send her annonymously(recommended) or just give her the link to this post on this forum. This post might be kinda funny for her, but she'll get to know how much you care about her. You could add phrases like "......just want you to know someone's loving/caring about you from behind/within the mist" and add that link.

And when she talk to you about these threads, you could just say some friend of yours sent it. And after a few seconds of predicted silence, ask her out "so, you wanna go eat lunch with me?". You could also joke with her after having her seen this topic, joking with my sample jokes lol (puzzled).

Hope my advices help and wish you good luck.

p.s not offense but a bid or poll to see if you succeeds might be interesting

No offense, i think this a load of ***. This is making it much more complicated than it should be.

Innerpeace, in case you haven't done it yet, I'd suggest just going up to her sometime, taking her aside and straight up telling her "I really like you. Do you like me or not?" This will put her on the spot and she will not be able to sidestep. She'lleither say yes or no. My feeling is she'll say "no" since it seems like she's just seeking attention from the way she's behaving towards you. In that case, you'll have to move on- there're plenty of others out there. In the slim case that she says "yes", ask her why she has been behaving in such a contradictory fashion towards you and then if you still like her, ask her out. Straight and to-the-point.
 

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