abandonment issues

Hello everyone its been awhile since I have been on here but I have been doing like most of us on here just trying to get through these days in the real world, dealing with the same old problems as usual but reccently I found that most of the issues I have been suffering from are all symtoms of a psychological term that I had heard of before but never really knew what it was but when I looked it up out of sheer curiosity I almost cried because it described most of the things that I have been dealing with most of my adult life and that is Abandonment Issues and now that I know, I feel like I'm lot closer to finding a solution to my behavior! I guess I just wanted to get that off my chest by sharing that with you guys and if anybody else is dealing with this I just wanna say please don't give up if you don't think nobody cares about you, just know here's atleast one person in this lonely life who does and as for me now that I have fully identified my problem I'm gonna try to get some help and I hope that anybody else that is going through this is succesful in getting help also because this truly is a heavy problem to deal with alone!

What are the symptoms?

Abandonment issues is the real deal. It's very painful and if I can say anything, it is to go through the fire. Don't avoid the pain because you'll never dull it away by ignoring it or trying to escape from it. Be brave and face the pain of abandonment and that is how you can heal yourself. Get help from a professional if you can or talk to some trusted people.
If you're all alone, try journaling...write out all your thoughts and pain into a journal. Get it out of your body.
Much later down the road of healing, you'll find the strength to forgive the people who abandoned you. I know it must seem impossible right now and that's OK. Forgiveness is the final release.
I wish you much luck.

I agree, work through these feelings - don't let them build up. I was sexually abused as a child and neglected by my mother and the neglect/abandonment reeked more havoc on my life than the sexual abuse - and to this day still has daily affects. Get all the help you can and talk talk talk.

AllAlone1 said:

Hello everyone its been awhile since I have been on here but I have been doing like most of us on here just trying to get through these days in the real world, dealing with the same old problems as usual but reccently I found that most of the issues I have been suffering from are all symtoms of a psychological term that I had heard of before but never really knew what it was but when I looked it up out of sheer curiosity I almost cried because it described most of the things that I have been dealing with most of my adult life and that is Abandonment Issues and now that I know, I feel like I'm lot closer to finding a solution to my behavior! I guess I just wanted to get that off my chest by sharing that with you guys and if anybody else is dealing with this I just wanna say please don't give up if you don't think nobody cares about you, just know here's atleast one person in this lonely life who does and as for me now that I have fully identified my problem I'm gonna try to get some help and I hope that anybody else that is going through this is succesful in getting help also because this truly is a heavy problem to deal with alone!

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I'm having to deal with this very same issue today....again.
My mother abandent me as a child.
I wrote extensively about my childhood years ago.
It was a painful process..I didn't want to re-open up old wounds.
I was able to talk to my mom about how I felt. It help healed me.

In my last long term relationship...The way my ex-gf is dealing
with the problem is she's pretending like I'm fucken dead.
She bascailly left my ass for dead. It re-triggered a lot of
old emotions on top of the current circumstance.

I recently allowed myself to love again...
IDk...it's just wierd. i went to work and came home
to a dear john letter...I've been feeling like honeysuckle for a while.

I saw my ex-gf tonight...she bascailly treats me like I'm
fucken dead. Like i don't fucken exist as if i did something
wrong to her. Will..i wasn't perfect but I was a far cry from
being a gardenia to her...I love her very much.

I don't have the feeling of abandentment with my ex-wf.
We went through a deviorced but she didn't abandent me.
She talked to me..even though we knew the marriage was
over...she talked to me. I was worth 1-2 hours of her time,
not a POS that she used...She didn't used me. I was able
to resolved whatever anger or pains i had of losing her.
It's not of abandentment.

With my ex-gf...it's a different story..I haven't been able
to resolve anything. I feel like I was just a POS she used
and just threw away. I've been carrying this inside of me
for over a year now...

I sat and cried in a meeting tonight. Just to process my feelings.
I felt better after i cried.
I'm not in a very good space at the moment.
I have a big headache. I feel a lot of pain at the moment.
I feel like crying as I'm writting this.
I break down and cry about once a month...
I can't get over it for some reasons.
It's not resovled...
No matter how much I want to let go and want the pains
removed from me...It hasn't gone away.
It gets retrigger everytime I see my ex.

I've prayed for her...
I swear up and down I've forgiven her.
I write in my journal I've forgiven her.
I swear up and down I've let her go.

Nothing...nothing works.
I don't obsess over it everyday.
I actaully seldom think about her...But I still have break downs
no matter what i do.

I swear to you...I'm not fucken dead.
It hurts like a son of a *****.

I talked to 2-3 different people...tonight.
Now I'm writting this...
Nothing...absolutely nothing removes the pains.
Now I'm just fucken crying..

That's rough. Giving/Accepting love in that sort of state is a really really, hard thing to do. And when that sort of foundation is built up and then warped like that, it leaves deep scars. I'm sorry.

AllAlone1 said:

I just wanna say please don't give up if you don't think nobody cares about you, just know here's atleast one person in this lonely life who does

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Thanks and don't you give up either.
Thanks for bringing up the 'abandonment' issue, because that's what it's all about in my life; relatives, former friends, the works.
That'll come up at my next session.
olg

Forgiveness is the ultimate release, the point in which closure may result. However, forgiveness is the hardest part. I have a hard time forgiving those who have hurt me, and an even harder time forgiving myself. But, I will persevere. I also agree that no words can describe the feeling of abandonment and depression. Some say that emotional pain is far greater than physical pain. In some cases, I think this may be true.

Hi,

I've been dealing with abandonment issues for a long time. Through therapy I gained a great understanding of the roots of it and the scars I have to show for it. However, I've noticed that every four years or so, I put myself in situations that bring those feelings right to the surface. I become that scared child again...go through grief and depression until I work through it only to face it again four or five years later! I guess I've managed to have a few years to recoup before it hits again so I should be grateful!

I'm here if anyone needs to talk.

XOXOXO