Having low self esteem

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Lost_N_Alone

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I know I suffer from low self esteem. I do my best to hide it though. People have called me arrogant and conceited in the past, but that's only because they don't know the real me. I've always viewed it as a weakness to admit to anyone that I hated myself and thought everyone else was better than me. I think it's just become ingrained in my thinking. I think shyness goes hand in hand with low self esteem. Because I was always so shy I always felt worse about myself, all the time acting like I didn't care. Can anyone relate or know how to improve self esteem?
 
Yeah, I'm having a hard time being myself when I talk to people I don't know very well. Since I really want to try to be social, I just pretend I AM social, but most of the time I really have no idea what I'm talking about. I really try to be nice and I really want to be nice, but most things I say seem to get the wrong reactions from people, no matter how carefully I choose my words.

It's funny, there's one guy at work which I know pretty well. I can be myself when i talk to him, and talking to him is SO easy compared to others. I don't have to think about stuff to say when I'm around him, and nothing I say feels wrong. I can really be myself. We both know eachother pretty well though, and we both have very similar taste, so I guess that makes it easier.

I guess the only way to improve is to practice. Never stop talking to people. Even though a conversation may feel awkward, you still get experience from it, and when you get better at talking, you might have an easier time being yourself when doing it. That's just a though ^^
 
Thanks for your response. Actually when I'm at work I'm pretty good at faking being sociable. That's because when I'm in a structured setting and I know what's expected of me and know what t do it's so much easier than being in a social setting.

I agree that practicing talking makes it easier to do it after awhile. It's just that when I'm in a social setting with people I don't know, I kind of freeze up. I have no idea what to say and when I try to say something I end up looking like a moron (which is how I feel anyway). That just makes me feel worse afterward makes me want to run away even more :(
 
Hi Lost,

That is how I feel, too. I'm terrified that when I'm in a social setting I talk too much, say too many personal things, or am too negative!
 
Hi Lonelygirl,

Do you usually end up not talking almost at all in social settings? That is what happens to me. After initial general talk I usually just have no clue what to say and even if I do, I'm too afraid to say it.
 
For me it depends how many people that's around. If there's only me and another one, I try to keep the conversation going, trying to squeeze words out of me, because I just can't stand the silence. If there's two or more, I tend to fall back and just listen, rarely speaking myself. That's so much easier.
 
Jeremi, that's what happens to me too in that I'll fall back in a group of people and end up just listening. The trouble is that I'm usually quickly forgotten about and as people start talking to each other I'm left walking away. Even if I end up saying nothing I'd much rather being in a group since then the burden is taken off me to try to keep the conversation going. If only talking were as easy as writing/typing for me.
 
Hi LNA,

I have such strong opinions and views (usually not the most popular, lol) so I can't stand to remain silent if I feel something very strongly. However, sometimes I just TRY to sit back and stay silent since I know my views may be unpopular and it's hard for me to take criticism in person for how I feel!
 
Lonelygirl, I wish I had the courage to let my views be known, especially if they're unpopular. More power to you for being able to express yourself!
 
I have low self esteem as well. I can socialize with people to an extent and air my views...that's not really a problem for me. I guess my problem is that lot of people who I meet end up not liking me. I'd say about 95% of people don't like me. They seem quick to pass judgment cause of physical features and perhaps because mostly I keep to myself. I only talk when spoken to and avoid rather lengthy answers. I avoid eye contact as well. Even my own cousins hate me (I can read through their actions of passive aggression)

When my first and only Fiancee left me it just aggravated my natural tendencies to just stop caring about what I feel...I decided to put it to rest. Heck, if nobody cares about MY feelings then why should I care about it? I just accepted the fact that I'm a doormat for all kinds of filth and injustice. I stopped making efforts to make myself attractive in any way. I'm not handsome, I'm not muscular, I'm not charming, I'm not that smart, I'm not talented and I'm not even nice (anymore) so to hell with it...I'm a damaged product and I couldn't care less. Only place for damaged products is the garbage in a section labeled "Non-recyclables"
 
Hi Lost, the problem is that I am ostracized by others. I feel things very passionately. Often when I am on a message board and share my strong opinions lots of people enjoy jumping on me, virtually! It does hurt my self esteem more but they can kiss my butt!
 
I am lonely and have developed low self esteem to a point that one time i thought of ending my life. I moved into the United States about a year and a half back after i married my then boy friend and now husband. In my home country i used to a successful tech writer, very vibrant, very lively and had plenty of friends. This new country is beginning to convince me that whatever i believed i was, thought was good at is all wrong. Since, i don't work here, i have no friends other than my husband's, he tries his best to keep me company, but then i am lonely at most times. Nobody seems to be willing to accept me, to make me a part of them however hard i try.
 
My self-esteem is also very low. I can sometimes annoy my friends and others because I am always thinking about negative things in my life like my bad qualities or how I can't seem to do anything right or how I'll die alone. I am also really shy and I have a very hard time talking to others I don't know.
 
Wow you sound excatly how I am I tend to come off as cocky or bragging but its just because I always feel I have to tell people the good things about me or instresting things. I also seem to do alright at work while there but never able to really talk to anyone just pretty much not be anti-social like I am everywhere else.
 
I am lonely and have developed low self esteem to a point that one time i thought of ending my life. I moved into the United States about a year and a half back after i married my then boy friend and now husband. In my home country i used to a successful tech writer, very vibrant, very lively and had plenty of friends. This new country is beginning to convince me that whatever i believed i was, thought was good at is all wrong. Since, i don't work here, i have no friends other than my husband's, he tries his best to keep me company, but then i am lonely at most times. Nobody seems to be willing to accept me, to make me a part of them however hard i try.

Aunk I'm so sorry to hear that you feel that way.  I know it's hard but you have to try to still believe in yourself, even when others don't.  It must be incredibly hard adjusting to life in a new country and not having any friends other than your husband.  give yourself credit where credit is due.  If that were me, there'd be no way I could adjust.
 
Hey guys,

I wish that my views weren't so unpopular. I'm a bit of a conspiracy theorist I suppose. I'm also pretty bitter since I hate the way the government does so many things.
 
Hi Lonelygirl, I don't like the way the government does a lot of things either. I don't really think I'm a conspiracy theorist though. I don't think that's really something to be bitter over though. Just my opinion.
 
I hope you had cured, lostandlone 📣

 ..."I hated myself and thought everyone else was better than me..." 


lonelygirl said:
Hey guys,

I wish that my views weren't so unpopular. I'm a bit of a conspiracy theorist I suppose. I'm also pretty bitter since I hate the way the government does so many things.

Hmm! Although I'm not fatalist, I've seen those theories aren't too far from being close to be true.

If i lived another life, I hope haman race never had the type of issues we currently have.

Twitter serve me to drain 🚽 or flush those feelings.


lonelygirl said:
Hey guys,

I wish that my views weren't so unpopular. I'm a bit of a conspiracy theorist I suppose. I'm also pretty bitter since I hate the way the government does so many things.

Hmm! Although I'm not fatalist, I've seen those theories aren't too far from being close to be true.

If i lived another life, I hope haman race never had the type of issues we currently have.

Twitter serve me to drain 🚽 or flush those feelings.
 

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