Shall I remain alone forever?

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Shadow

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The last time I was in a relationship was over two years ago. I met her through my friends. I've had a few problems with depression in the past, but when I met her and when I was with her, all my problems were gone. I'd never felt so happy. Having someone to hold, to love, the feeling was one that I had never experienced seeing as she was my first and to this day only. I miss being able to cuddle, to share affection. I cannot remember the last time I even had a hug.
It was her who asked me out, and had she not we would have never been together. I have asked out countless girls in the past, and it seems I always get the same answers. "I want to stay friends", "You're like a brother", "You're not my type" and the ever popular "No". I've heard them all. Each time my self-esteem lowers further and further. Each time my heart is broken into even more pieces. The pain of knowing someone doesn't feel for you what you feel for them. If you were friends with the person, then you ruin the friendship. I vowed to never ask out anyone ever again. I am tired of the pain.
Right now I only have a few close friends, non of which are girls. I don't talk to them anymore. Every time I see a girl pass by, I can only wish that I had the courage to talk to her. Every time I think to myself, I wonder what she is like? It is like I am invisible, cursed to only witness other relationships.
I am currently in college with plans of dropping out to dedicate more time to my art. The problem is, other than to be with my few friends, I will stay home. College/School is the main place where relationships are born. If I am not in college, how will I ever meet anyone? College was my last chance to meet a girl, and I failed. There is nothing I can do now. My self-esteem is too low and there is no where I can socialize with women. Shall I remain alone forever? Or will God hear my prayers and bring someone into my life.
 
The rejection doesn't do much for your self-esteem that is true. I can remember when I was a kid asking this girl if she would like a drink in a under 16 nightclub (nappy night) lol Anyway I would had been about 14 at the time and was not a shy kid. But obviously was bricking it by trying to chat a girl up. After all I was only 14. well she straight out turned round and told me to fresia of and that she wasn't getting of with no spake. I was gutted. Normally my feelings would not be bothered so much but on this occasion I was proper gutted and did not even go back at her. Thankfully my mate did and fro he's drink all over her :D Why have I not got mates like that now. what a guy.

Anyway I have a friend that is not good looking and he never has any problems when out. The reason is cos he is just not phased by rejection. He well go up to a girl and start talking and if she blows him out he walks off and just starts talking to another girl. I swear am better looking then him and of course I have a better personality lol Well maybe :D All let others be the judge of that. but ye he always gets off cos he has the attitude how can you not fancy me. He's tholoserthey is if you ask a 100 girls out then one is boned to say yes. And it works.
 
Rejection hurts. Period.

I'm sorry to hear you've been rejected :(

Keep trying.

DONT drop out of college. You'll regret it.
 
you forgot....."you're too good for me".lol
In business :...thank you sir, you're over qulified for the job. :(

How about ? " I'll get back to you".lol

Getting stood up..
Getting stood up cures the simple "NO"...rejection feeling. :(

Yeap...rejections sucks.
Yeah i vowed to never have anything to do with women oneday.

Girls I had relationships with after colllege

Michelle married me. It took a ***** like her to love a basturd like me.
Misty love to dance the night away...If you can dance, you can fresia.
Lori wanted to love me back to life, I should had married her instead.
Lois..is my phyco love #1. I was superman, she was my kryptonite.
Wendy is pretty woman....the Leaving Los Vegas version tho. She's like the wind.
Sheryl likes to negociate. Love is a game give and take.
Sherry is holier than thou. she's phyco love #2. She had me praying to god everyday day..."fucken help me."
Jenni is my angel, I can't get her out of my mind.

yeah...like Bluey say. It also applies when seraching for employment or biding out for a contract.
One of my jobs is to bid for contracts..(bascailly looking for work for my company).
It dosn't effect me as much at a personal emotion level...becuase it's just work or I don't own the business.
I'll bust my ass getting numbers, quotes, reserch...etc. Then submit bids.
If i get luckie...I'll get an inquerry from 1 out of 10-15 clients...Then go through a second phase of getting stood up
at the alter...per say.lol It stills effect me at some level becuase I'm proud of my work.
But...you keep on doing it ..until you get a contract.

In the mean time, i also had to do a lot of self esteem work or Loving myself first and foremost.
I get effected by rejections...so I get pro active with self-esteem to retain myself or rejuvenate myself again.
When serching for a partner...it's hard to not take it personal..becuase it is personal.
My attitude over the years is to not take it personal anymore..I take rejections as part of the territory
of the dating phase or trying to find that special girl.

If you read at lot of self help books or how to become sucessful.
Maybe stories of sucessful people.
All successful people experinced rejections up the wazooo.
 
I think that self esteem has to come from you. I know that's easier said than done but putting your self esteem in someone else's hands is never a good idea. Try to be the person that you like. I know it's depressing to like someone who doesn't like you back. I only asked for someone's number once and I was rejected. This was 2 years ago and I still feel horrible about it. Whenever I've been with someone,they have to make the first move or nothing happens. I could never go through that again. The thing is this man I asked strung me along and gave the impression he was interested but he was just using me for an ego boost.,which has made me very depressed. I try to avoid him now. He reels me in just so he can talk about other girls as it makes him feel important for me to feel bad and he wants me to be jealous. I've kind of given up trying to find someone now because I hate all these mind games. If someone isn't interested in someone they shouldn't make out that they are. It's best for you to watch out for these games and be careful of this because it feels horrible. Not everyone is like this but it's best to be aware of this. I'm sorry that I don't know the answer to your problem. Try to focus on other things maybe and perhaps someone will come along. I hope things improve. Are you getting your depression treated by a doctor as this may help?
 
Self esteem comes from confidence, which in turn results from positive life experiences. you cannot truly generate it on your own, unless you are a narcissist :p

That said, you have to continue to try despite failing and not give up, otherwise, self esteem will never grow.
 
jd7, I typed on 'view new posts'. I suppose I looked at the 'related posts' and assumed they were also new. Oh well, perhaps it will help someone.
 
greenapple271 said:
jd7, I typed on 'view new posts'. I suppose I looked at the 'related posts' and assumed they were also new. Oh well, perhaps it will help someone.

:) Tomorrow will be a better day.
 
ABrokenMan, sometimes trying when it doesn't come to anything makes self esteem worse. I know eventually you have to try things as the despair gets unbearable. I don't know what to do really. I just do my best. I go through stages of trying and giving up. You say self esteem comes from positive life experiences which I know is true to an extent but if you aren't getting positive life experiences you're going to feel bad. That's why it's good to rely on yourself at least to a degree.
 
ABrokenMan said:
Self esteem comes from confidence, which in turn results from positive life experiences. you cannot truly generate it on your own, unless you are a narcissist :p

That said, you have to continue to try despite failing and not give up, otherwise, self esteem will never grow.

Something my mother wouldn't understand. :p
 

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