Please tell me What's wrong with me?

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--Lanie--

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Hi!
I really don't know what to do and what is wrong with me..
I don't have any friends. I talk to ppl at school and at work but none of them seem to want to hang out with me. Two and a half years ago i moved to this country. Back in my country i already had long established friendships made in kindergarten or primary school. (I didn't take intiative in meeting new people but having these old friends helped me: they would introduce me to new ones and take me to hang out with them and to parties) here however i don't have these long-established friendships. i tried to change and take the initiative but for some reason it doesn't seem to work out. None of the girls who i talk to at school want to hang out with me! Like for instance today i talked to my "friend".
she said
wow it's sucha beautiful day!" So i offered her to go for a walk or something but she immediately said "oh, actually i have so much work to do!" And this wasn't the first time. more like a hundredth.. i asked her if she wantedto go shopping she was like "well maybe sametime.."
Then i asked another girl to go shopping. (she seems to like shopping and dressing up and all this kind of stuff) She was like "oh, sure i'll call you tomorrow or the day after" and of course she did NOT call. By now i'm so used to everyone not calling back that i'm not even expecting anyone to call anymore really...
and yea, i used to be shy i thought this was my only problem and i was sure as soon as i started asking people out i'd stop being lonely but for some reason this still isn't working!!!
people say: you're such a beautiful girl you shouldn't be afraid to talk to people, offer them your friendship, ask them out, they'll be happy.. Well i'm not afraid anymore and i'm still beautiful and all that notwithstanding it's still not working out! The fact that i'm beautiful only means that many guys (much older ones too :( keep asking me out, and my relationships with other girls still suck!:( What should i do? What is my problem i really don't see what's wrong with me!! Ireally need your advice!
 
my advice would be to try and stay strong, i no thats hard espically on your own...trust me i no lol

but your gunna find better mates then those girls. not being shy helps your case a lot more then it would if u were shy and quiet.
aaaand never know, maybe one of those lasses did legitamatly forget to reshedule or maybe they will go out with u next time u ask.

also imma sorry to hear most guys try to flirt with you, but we kinda think with our dicks XD or most guys do :(


oh yeah just ntoiced that was your first post, so welcome to the forums as well :)
 
Greetings Lanie, and welcome!

People on this forum are going to start thinking I'm a broken record, but what are your hobbies? Do you know anybody with similar interests? The best friends I've ever had are people with whom I've shared recreational interests. It can take a bit of searching, but most communities are full of little sub-communities of like-minded people. It's just a matter of finding them.

Good luck!
 
yeah...most of my ex-gf had the same problem with finding female friends...becuase of thier looks.

So don't take it too personally or turn the rejections inward.
A lot of it is not you. So first and formost don't blame yourself.

They're probably afriad thier boyfriends might hit up on you....who knows.

Just keep reaching out ..or maybe befriend a good looking
girl.

It's actaully reverse for me...I have more female friends than
male friends...basically I get sick and tired of hearing guys
talking about T and A all the time...It's cool to hang with
the guys but as far as having a close male to male relationship,
is far and in between in my life. I'm trying harder to have
close relationships with guys...I have trust issues...:(
Some of my guys friend are always hitting on my GF behind
my back...

I've always had pultonic friendships. Yeah... I had a lot of good
looking girls as friends...yeah sometimes i want to get out of
the friendzone...but for the most part our freindship was more
important. Yes most of my pultonic gf had the sametype of
experince as you do in verious degree. NO I'm not gay...
Actaully i talk to my females friends about relationships
problems I have with my intimate GF....
Sometimes I'm cloeser to my plutonic gf than my imtimate GF...
A friend is a friend no matter how they look like on the outside or what sex.

Yes it cuase jealousy issues sometimes. My ex-wf looked like
a super model but she had some serious jealousy issues.
 
Wow you are experiancing the same thing I experiance!

Every time I ask someone to do something, they say they are too busy (99% of the time).

For the most part I dont ask people to do stuff with me.

I think you have to join a group that does activities and do activities with the group. Like say...join a dance team that goes to competitions.

This is the only way I've figured out how to make friends. Make friends by common interests...
 
Find a group who have the same interests with you.

If you like shopping and the other person like shopping,shopping connects you and her together.It will take time and a bit of effort but you will do fine.xD
 
Thanks for your advice!
I used to be on the running team of my school, i met a girl there, we talked during the practices and went to races together, but didn't really do anything outside that. But for me a friend is someone with whom you can go anywhere. Like in my country i had 3-4 ppl with each of whom i could go to the exam, to party and to a swimming pool too. And one of my "friends" here likes it when i accompany her on her way to the bus but whenever i ask her to go with me, anywhere, even just through a different exit just an extra staircase, she is like no, i have to hurry...
I think i'm just unimportant to them, like they have many "better" people to hang out with and i'm just the one who they can talk to when there's no one else to talk to or ask to go somewhere with them if they know that no "better" person will go..
Or maybe "better" should be changed to "the one who they know for a longer period of time"?.... actually i don't think so, some people come to new places and establish new friendships almost immidiately and it doesn't look as though others think them unimportant or anything, so others must be "better" and i must be "worse" for some other reason... again i've come to the same point: "what's wrong with me?"
 
i can somehow relate to you. I'm also an immigrant to united states. I moved to US in 2000 when I was thirteen. I had a lot of friends back then, people were everywhere so i didnt really learn how to "make new friends" because I had known them for years from primary schools.

But after I moved to US, I didn't know how to make new friends. i guess i never could fit in because everything was so different in the US. And I have trouble making these long friendships last. most of my friends ive only known maybe 3 or 2 years. I only know 2 guys that are more then 6 years, but we had some really bad blood. I ended up losing bunch of friends, mainly because people took advantage of me and i was too trusting. I still cant figure out how to make new friends sometime.
 

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