How do you make friends if you're too scared to approach anyone???

So I really want to make friends but the more I stay at home the harder I find it to sum up the courage to get out and meet people. I imagine having all these really awesome conversations with people and then I look out the window at all my neighbors chit chattin and I feel like a stupid wuss cause I can't sum up the courage to get out there and chat with them. And the more I stay home the worse it gets. Does anyone get that too?

And then when I do get out I find that the conversations just don't go the way I imagined...I find I can't really find anything interesting to talk to these people about...why???

It can be very difficult. I find that conversation is like any developable skill; you have to practice it to do it well.

So don't give up, keep on plugging, and good luck!

I hear all and see all my neighbors talking. I think most of the time there not talking about such interesting things has you might think. I do talk to them has well. Am not shy. But when I have took the time to talk to them there mostly just gossiping about other ppl.

Most of the time when I see a neighbor the convo gows something like this. Nice weather where having. Yes, Bot time we had some sun. yea never seems to do anything but rain LMAO. In true Brit fashion when you got nothing to talk about then talk about the weather. lol

I think its easier to make friends when you already have friends. You ever just sit in a pub on your own? I have when a friends gone to the toilet or something. You drink much faster on your own. Thing is you never really start talking to other ppl when on your own but for some reason when with another person it just seems easier.

It can be heard if you feel awkward around ppl you don't know that well. Try saying little things to start with like if am washing my car you guarantee someone well always say you can do mine after. I always have the same response for that. Smile and say hah I don't thinks so. what else can you say to that? It dose kinder break the ice though. Don't worry about saying anything stupid. ppl say stupid things all the time lol Just makes things moor fun.

For me..i had to take baby steps.

I isolate myself for a year. I hardly went outside of my house except when i really needed to go to the store.
Being around people gave me the creeps. Life in general gave me the creeps.
I was having a major, major break down...I didn't want to be touched by anyone.
I felt dirty...i felt life and everyone and everything in it was dirty.

I wasn't totally stair crazy...I saw my parents everyday...for 5 mins.
But i was close...lmao

Just signing on this site took a lot of desperations. It took me a week to figure out how
to use the chat room...lol
I started inneracting with poeple in there...

Eventaully I was able to talk to someone....eventaully that someone convienced me to go outside
everyday. It didn't happened over nite..It took me a couple of weeks for me to get up enough strenght
to just leave my house and go for a walk in the park. It took another week for me to be able to
force myyself to sit at the park for a couple of hours....yet i let no one near me.
Sunlight...freaken cutted my skin.

Eventaully i was well enough to return to work. I knew my co-workers for many years....even then
my skin crawled being around people. I felt sick as if I ran a fever being around people.
The first couple of weeks was terriable. I always wanted to be left alone or come home.

Eventaully I was able to return to my support group meetings.
This one cute lady kept telling me to keep on trying and keep coming back to the meetings.
She told me she can sort of identify with me...She used to isolate herself too.
I bascailly sat facing the walls and looked at no one...but the lady sat next to me.
She also kind of felt I was hanging on byy a thread because I felt very uncomfortible being around
people and wasn't feeling too well about life in general.

Acatully...it's only been 4 months since I started attending meetings again.
I came a long ways considering that state I was in. My support groups
gave me alot of practice of being able to inneract with people face to face.

Heck i even had to go work in Mexico for a little while.It was a total culture shock for me.
I was scared shitless for over a week.
At the sametime it help me..It was a big city with lots and lots of people everywhere.
I didn't even know any spanish...It was a totally insane experince for me...put I took it as a challenge.


Maybe there's a club in your aera you can join. Maybe take up an art class or photagraphy class..
Something to get you out of the house...A club gives you a common interest to talk over.
Then you can use that as practice tools to be around people and innertact with people.

(hug)

i agree, it is a practiceable skill.
i guess - just - start. don't worry about what happens. i mean - the folks that will like you will do so anyway, and those who won't - just won't

(hug)

packyourbags said:

i agree, it is a practiceable skill.

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This is very true. I used to believe that I was not able to talk to people normally until I actually done it a few times. Sometimes they start off good and other times they start or in the middle part becomes awkward, but in the end they did not go as bad as I imagined it to be. Just don't believe or think that once you have one good conversation that person you talked with will want to be your friend right away. Take your time and be cool with it. Try not to seem too timid or that you are trying too hard to be friendly. I can go on and on, but you just have to go for it when the time comes and learn what is best for yourself to interact with people comfortably. Talk about anything. Even if it is about the weather, don't be shy.

I used to try and script conversations in my head. This, I have found, is a bad idea. Nobody ever followed the script! When I stopped trying to envision a conversation beforehand, when I just started going where the conversation took me, I found myself becoming more and more comfortable conversing with people outside of my imagination.