Death and its impact on others...

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BrokenDreams

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Hey, I'm 15 now but when I was younger, something terrible happened. My 3 year old brother died. This really messed up my life, and I think it is the reason I am the way I am today. You see, when I returned to school (I was in grade one), everyone treated me differently. I cried even more often, which made every other student afraid of me. I never had a true friend until like the fifth grade, but then I had to move to another school and was lonely again. I never stopped crying, still to this day, I cry so easily.

A few weeks ago, in religion class (I go to a Catholic school) we were reading a story about a couple who lost their son in a natural disaster. After the story, my teacher asked some questions to random students in the class. She asked me "If you were in this situation, would you have reacted like the couple. What would you do if you lost a son or daughter, or sister or brother?" The brother part really dawned on me. I tried to answer but my thoughts were all jambled up. I burst into tears and I ran out of the class. I felt like such a loser.

I guess I have a bunch of jumbled up feelings inside of me and I just wish for someone to be able to understand me. I'm hoping that someone on this site will since everyone here seems caring and kind.
 
i understand the pain, i have 3 girls but my last pregnancy i was carrying twins
they came early ,one died the other lived
i use to be able to tell myself i am blessed for my last child to have at least 1 survive
she made it thru and is healthy and not to be sad for the other but i often see her playing alone
talking to herself and she has a imaginary best friend as she has no others real ones staying home with me
and i wonder if she would have been happier with her twin sister
of course she would ,she is the only one of my 3 to have a imaginary friend
complete with name and everything ,is it my fault?
if i had gone to the hospital sooner things may have been different
so many things i think about,i cant have children anymore
it hurts , i am lonely ,but i know if i lost my 4 yearold ,she is my love my life my treasure i know i could not survive it
i feel so bad for you and your mother ,i hope your pain will heal as you are young
living life feeling so miserable is a very hard and lonely thing and doesnt get better as you get older try to get help now ,try and heal your heart before it runs your whole life
 
Aww! :( It must be so hard to lose a child. Thats pretty much one of the reasons why I don't want any, the other being that they really get on my nerves. Well, its good that your 4 year old child is still alive. :D And I hope that your pain heals. It must be a very difficult situation...
 
Reading about the death of your brother and your pain really stuck a chord with me. I have four children - my youngest who is 3. I am always deeply saddened by the death of a child. I never realized, though, that the real tragedy is how it can affect the other children in the family.
 
BrokenDreams said:
I guess I have a bunch of jumbled up feelings inside of me and I just wish for someone to be able to understand me. I'm hoping that someone on this site will since everyone here seems caring and kind.

i think that's the whole crux of being lonely - not having anyone who understands you. In that regard I know how you feel. I found that getting counselling/therapy helped because i then had someone who i could at least talk to about what i was feeling without risking of being rejected or called a loser. Maybe it will help you at least a little bit.
 
I think we can all relate..we all have alot of pain/loneliness in our lives for one reason or another. It may help to know your not alone in how you feel. I do hope things get better and you can work through the feelings your having.
 
Yeah, I'm trying to get counselling at school, but I'm not sure its really helping me.
Thanks for understanding, everyone. :)
 
i'm very sorry for your brother BrokenDreams; it must be very sad; i have a 5 year old brother and i kno wthat even though sometimes i get mad at him; i wouldn't be able to live witout him...when he was around three years old i started having this strange and horrible nightmares, where my brother always died, me, my sister and my parents all criesd around him...and just remembering it makes me feel so ...can't explain it fortunatelly now i don't have this kind of dreams...
i just wanted to say Broken Dreams, that you shouldn't feel a loser for crying in you rreligious class, it's a normal response and people should only try to help you in every possible way; to help you get over it...and be always near you...if you want write me!
 
Hi Broken Dreams,

I agree that it was normal to get emotional when the topic came to a sibling. I'm surprised your teacher wasn't more sensitive, I guess she didn't know?

Don't feel like a loser, obviously anyone in the class with a brain would realize that you lost someone close to you and that is why you got upset and walked out. Hopefully they will be kind and sympathetic to you about this. If they are not, they are total a-holes.
 

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