depression since I was 11

hey guys, I am new but I thought that I should share a little while I'm here. I been suffering from depression since I was 11 at first I thought that I was just going through a faze in my life, but then I started to get really sick by this I mean crying in the bathroom for no reason and basically isolating myself from the rest of the world. all I could remember was that I was missing a big chunk out of my life and I don't know where it is or how to get it back, I told a friend and she said I was crazy and she basically stop talking and playing with me from that point on I learned to live a double life I would be class clown at school and calm cool around my friends and family then I would cry like crazy and not get out of bed when I got home.
long story short I told my mother and asked her to give me medication she said no and when I asked why she simply stated that she won't have a crazy daughter in her house at this point I left it alone and in a couple of weeks I started to cut myself over and over again after two years I realized that I wasn't the enemy this sickness was and without knowing it I slowly but surely have been isolating myself from everyone. in my mind I think that they think I'm crazy which by the way I wouldn't disagree, I have no real friends, no real life and I spend 99.9% of my days in my room with no idea how to get out into the world which sucks because I feel like I am a great person, but I just don't know how to communicate that to the rest of world.

Everyone on here either thinks I'm crazy or horny...
mmmm...to be honest...I don't know what people thinks of me....

I don't take any medications...but I attention support groups..


Yeap...I isolate myself really bad this last time.
For a years I didn't leave my house ..yeap I stayed mostly in my room.

Yeap...beig around people made my skin crawled. i felt sick being around people.
yeap...I had to force myself to go outside...
I had to take baby steps...

I don't have hard time understanding you...

Please keep reach out.

Lonesome, I don't think you're crazy. Horny, maybe...I'm just screwing with you man. Well, you know, not literally screwing. OK, I gotta stop.

Cubatown, how old are you these days? It's hard when you're depressed at such a young age (I was very happy when I was 11), so I sympathize, but it's a good thing that you've realized you're not the enemy. Cutting yourself isn't the solution and understanding that is the first step in getting out of this situation. So you're certainly headed in the right direction.

Just put your cool face on and get out of your room.

I couldn't agree more with the fact that when you have fallen into depression you always have to wear a mask when you're interacting with other people. Especially during those years as a teenager. Your family and your (former) friends are denying your suffering, and it makes it far worse. If you can't get help from anyone you know, then you'd better find it yourself: talk to your doctor, call the medical institution who could help you. You're right to ask for medication. You already made a step by posting here.

cubatown88 said:

hey guys, I am new but I thought that I should share a little while I'm here. I been suffering from depression since I was 11 at first I thought that I was just going through a faze in my life, but then I started to get really sick by this I mean crying in the bathroom for no reason and basically isolating myself from the rest of the world. all I could remember was that I was missing a big chunk out of my life and I don't know where it is or how to get it back, I told a friend and she said I was crazy and she basically stop talking and playing with me from that point on I learned to live a double life I would be class clown at school and calm cool around my friends and family then I would cry like crazy and not get out of bed when I got home.
long story short I told my mother and asked her to give me medication she said no and when I asked why she simply stated that she won't have a crazy daughter in her house at this point I left it alone and in a couple of weeks I started to cut myself over and over again after two years I realized that I wasn't the enemy this sickness was and without knowing it I slowly but surely have been isolating myself from everyone. in my mind I think that they think I'm crazy which by the way I wouldn't disagree, I have no real friends, no real life and I spend 99.9% of my days in my room with no idea how to get out into the world which sucks because I feel like I am a great person, but I just don't know how to communicate that to the rest of world.

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Now that you are of age, you certainly have more options available to you, none of which your parent (s) need to know about. Medicine is a good idea, along with therapy, if needed. In most areas, help is available at reduced, or not cost at all, depending on your income level. Depression is an illness - it certainly does NOT mean you're crazy.
I have listed a website below, that may be helpful for you. However, I would suggest calling your local health department to find out specific information on your local mental health care facility as soon as possible.

On this site, look to the LEFT to move from topic to topic, such as definition, causes, symptons, etc. This is a very helpful site.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/depression/DS00175

Good luck!

Hey Cuba, I understand how you feel.

I too have been feeling depressed since I was around 10-11 years old. I never told anyone around me and I pent it all up inside. I cut myself once, more of because it was on impulse but I got a shock and never did it again. Now, I just cry in my room most of the time.

I isolated myself from everyone when I was around 13-14. (I'm 20 now btw) I wore long sleeves all the time because I didn't like any human contact. Now I wish I knew why I'm depressed because I have good family members, great friends, yet I still cry. Hopeless I may be but I just want you to know, you're not alone.

Cutting yourself isn't the solution and understanding that is the first step in getting out of this situation. So you're certainly headed in the right direction.
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trust me that wasn't easy to learn but at least I've learned it.
I am 21 now

blue_azure said:

Hey Cuba, I understand how you feel.

I too have been feeling depressed since I was around 10-11 years old. I never told anyone around me and I pent it all up inside. I cut myself once, more of because it was on impulse but I got a shock and never did it again. Now, I just cry in my room most of the time.

I isolated myself from everyone when I was around 13-14. (I'm 20 now btw) I wore long sleeves all the time because I didn't like any human contact. Now I wish I knew why I'm depressed because I have good family members, great friends, yet I still cry. Hopeless I may be but I just want you to know, you're not alone.

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thanks for that message it feels good to know that I am not the only one going through this or that has went through this.
I also have a great family but not many of them understand thats why I came here.

Hey Cuba. Yeah i've been there. It was a long way out of that hell hole but it was worth it. Medication helped me get to the point where I could think more clearly, so I could figure things out.

therapy can be helpful too. And honestly it does not mean your crazy. Being able to regognize when you need assistance is a nessisary skill in life. Lots of people don't have it, and don't understand the concept when they see anyone else employing it. (like your parents or your friend)

I still wear long sleves to cover my scars but they're years old now.

Having voices that criticized me, and screamed at me for everything I did helped me see how very important forgiving yourself is. Not only for the big things but for the small things and even for who you are. Forgive yourself for not being enough, forgive yourself for being weak. And learn what respect every human being (even yourself) deserves.

Once I learned this I allowed myself to eat, to sleep, to smile if I could, to stop punishing myself. My life is sooo much better now.

These are the tools you will need to survive human interaction. Everything you say opens you up to criticism. If you're inclined to agree with the insults instead of recognizing that no one should be treated that way, you will be angry and hate yourself. And hating yourself is an agonizing way to live.

Sorry for the preaching there I was really just talking to myself. It's just what i've learned and I hope that putting it out there will help someone.

Anyway...