4
4sak3n
Guest
Greetings everyone
I am a 21 year old male who has never had any sort of a romantic relationship at all. I have never been on a date, never been kissed, never even held hands ... things which even the most awkward, socially inept teenagers regularly seem to achieve with minimal fuss.
In previous years, as it to be expected from a teenager, this lack manifested itself as sexual frustration. But lately I seem to feel this lack a a more acute loneliness. These days I find myself craving a simple hug, or a smile instead of more lustful cravings from the past. Many people overlook just how much it can mean to you to have someone who is happy to see you, who is glad that you are in their life.
My loneliness comes and goes. I find that if I keep myself busy that I don't notice this hole within me so much. I work as equipment officer at my local scuba club and it keeps me rushing about furiously most of the afternoon and evening but whenever I go home and read a book or watch something on TV it hits me just how lonely I feel and how much I wish I had a significant other to spend time with.
Of course the fact that I recognise this loneliness doesn't mean that I don't question this frustration all of the time. I often wonder whether I have in fact moved past my sexual frustration, whether or not this latest desire for personal warmth in the form of a hug or a smile is not just a mask, hiding my sexual side to make me feel better about myself. And all of this doubt does nothing whatsoever to make me feel less alone.
I also question just why it is I have never been able to start any sort of a relationship. Its not for lack of trying believe me! I think my main problem is that I am not a social person at all. I find any sort of social situation, whether it be speaking to one other person or a room full of other people, boring and uncomfortable. I'm much happier by myself reading or doing my own thing. Which is no longer as comforting as it once was because its when I am alone that I feel the loneliness (sounds elementary doesn't it? )
And any way that you look at it, just about the only way to get into any sort of a relationship involves being social. You can't go out with a person unless you talk to them first and get to know them. Or at least, you can't if you aren't supremely confident.
Anyway, I'm sure that many of you out there have boyfriends and girlfriends. Just how do you go about getting involved with someone if you aren't interested in social situations? It seems a bit hypocritical to want the benefits (finding a partner) without becoming actively involved geting to know other people.
I am a 21 year old male who has never had any sort of a romantic relationship at all. I have never been on a date, never been kissed, never even held hands ... things which even the most awkward, socially inept teenagers regularly seem to achieve with minimal fuss.
In previous years, as it to be expected from a teenager, this lack manifested itself as sexual frustration. But lately I seem to feel this lack a a more acute loneliness. These days I find myself craving a simple hug, or a smile instead of more lustful cravings from the past. Many people overlook just how much it can mean to you to have someone who is happy to see you, who is glad that you are in their life.
My loneliness comes and goes. I find that if I keep myself busy that I don't notice this hole within me so much. I work as equipment officer at my local scuba club and it keeps me rushing about furiously most of the afternoon and evening but whenever I go home and read a book or watch something on TV it hits me just how lonely I feel and how much I wish I had a significant other to spend time with.
Of course the fact that I recognise this loneliness doesn't mean that I don't question this frustration all of the time. I often wonder whether I have in fact moved past my sexual frustration, whether or not this latest desire for personal warmth in the form of a hug or a smile is not just a mask, hiding my sexual side to make me feel better about myself. And all of this doubt does nothing whatsoever to make me feel less alone.
I also question just why it is I have never been able to start any sort of a relationship. Its not for lack of trying believe me! I think my main problem is that I am not a social person at all. I find any sort of social situation, whether it be speaking to one other person or a room full of other people, boring and uncomfortable. I'm much happier by myself reading or doing my own thing. Which is no longer as comforting as it once was because its when I am alone that I feel the loneliness (sounds elementary doesn't it? )
And any way that you look at it, just about the only way to get into any sort of a relationship involves being social. You can't go out with a person unless you talk to them first and get to know them. Or at least, you can't if you aren't supremely confident.
Anyway, I'm sure that many of you out there have boyfriends and girlfriends. Just how do you go about getting involved with someone if you aren't interested in social situations? It seems a bit hypocritical to want the benefits (finding a partner) without becoming actively involved geting to know other people.