never had a girlfriend

ive never had a girlfriend, and frankly, it has not really bothered me, until of late.
I always thought that, if you had good friends, you could last. But now im out of touch with my friends, and feeling the need for a compatible partner, and i havent the faintest idea what to do?

I do believe that its whats inside a human's soul that matters, as opposed to the body, and that i would make a decent partner, but ill admit that im not the most good looking of boys a girl could ever wish for, but im not open enough for other people to see the type of person i am.

What should i do?

Maybe you could get with Abi.

bear said:

ive never had a girlfriend, and frankly, it has not really bothered me, until of late.
I always thought that, if you had good friends, you could last. But now im out of touch with my friends, and feeling the need for a compatible partner, and i havent the faintest idea what to do?

I do believe that its whats inside a human's soul that matters, as opposed to the body, and that i would make a decent partner, but ill admit that im not the most good looking of boys a girl could ever wish for, but im not open enough for other people to see the type of person i am.

What should i do?

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Wow, I feel the same way. All the guys at my school are jerks. I feel like such a loser since all of my friends etiher have a boyfriend, or at least had one. Dating these days is so materialistic. It seems like you can only find a date if you are attractive.

mimizu said:

Maybe you could get with Abi.

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Hehe, I dont even know if he is in my area. But hey once i grad from school I am free I need to get my career started and see where I am next yr.

BrokenDreams said:

bear said:

ive never had a girlfriend, and frankly, it has not really bothered me, until of late.
I always thought that, if you had good friends, you could last. But now im out of touch with my friends, and feeling the need for a compatible partner, and i havent the faintest idea what to do?

I do believe that its whats inside a human's soul that matters, as opposed to the body, and that i would make a decent partner, but ill admit that im not the most good looking of boys a girl could ever wish for, but im not open enough for other people to see the type of person i am.

What should i do?

Click to expand...

Wow, I feel the same way. All the guys at my school are jerks. I feel like such a loser since all of my friends etiher have a boyfriend, or at least had one. Dating these days is so materialistic. It seems like you can only find a date if you are attractive.

Click to expand...

That's usually how it is for the guy's side of the spectrum; you work your way from cheerleader to model to playboy bunny, so to say. The guys you'll find with morals usually don't care about that; it's about personality (yea yea, horribly overused and mostly said by guys trying to be players).

The one guy that is actually my "friend" and the one guy I know who actually has morals likes someone else anyways. Even if he didn't, I could never date him. I'm not his type since my marks are not high enough.

Marks in school? That is no way to judge how good you will be for a person. A relationship is built upon trust, not love. School doesn't teach you to do either; sure, it helps with the friendships you build, to grow to trust those friends, but school does not separate who you can and cannot date; school marks are about how well you studied the material and not how well you look or your compatibility for someone.

downgrade said:

Marks in school? That is no way to judge how good you will be for a person. A relationship is built upon trust, not love. School doesn't teach you to do either; sure, it helps with the friendships you build, to grow to trust those friends, but school does not separate who you can and cannot date; school marks are about how well you studied the material and not how well you look or your compatibility for someone.

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Well my marks are low, and I'm not the most smart sounding person anyways. So that makes alot of guys hate me since I'm such a brainless moron.

You don't sound like a moron, you're just being harsh on yourself.
Your marks are probably low because of depression.

mimizu said:

You don't sound like a moron, you're just being harsh on yourself.
Your marks are probably low because of depression.

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I guess it could be true, but I've been called stupid, a moron, a retard and many other harsh names like that by people many times. I try my hardest in school, but I still can't seem to get decent marks, nevermind actually pass math this year.

Also, speaking of schools... If I was in charge of a school, I would make sure no kids feel excluded. I would develop a special program for "social adjustment"... there would be clubs on various interests (that the students choose themselves), and lonely/friendless children would be aggressively saught for and attached into clubs with other friendly children, and guided to make friends... there would even be a program to make sure those kids visit each other and spend some time together after school... some people are just socially "slack"... like I used to be.

I wasn't bullied, but I didn't make any effort to know people... as a result I ended up being completely isolated because I made 0 friends in school and I have a very small family, just mom and dad. No uncles, no cousins, no visits to other families.

I wish somebody would have helped me back when I was 10... and already began to be socially isolated.

I think... Just like education is mandatory, because otherwise most people would be illiterate, social education should be mandatory too...

Schools exist to make children develop the skills necessary to survive in society.. aren't social skills also needed?

Maybe it might do more bad than good, I don't know.. but I think such a program would have helped me as a child...

BrokenDreams said:

mimizu said:

You don't sound like a moron, you're just being harsh on yourself.
Your marks are probably low because of depression.

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I guess it could be true, but I've been called stupid, a moron, a retard and many other harsh names like that by people many times. I try my hardest in school, but I still can't seem to get decent marks, nevermind actually pass math this year.

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School is hard, no doubt. But (pending on what level of school you are in), people usually try to pick on others to make themselves seem cooler or make themselves feel better. Just let it go through one ear and out the other (which I know is harder to do than say, I've had to put up with it before as well). And for some, tests aren't made for them. I know many of my friends that know school material, but yet they fail the tests (my French class for example; I know the material outside of taking the test, but I usually make barely passing if even that on all tests). Just don't give up.

Edit: Mimizu, that might not be a good idea. I know that as I was young, my childhood influenced me to the extent that I cannot trust (and to an extent, be friends with them) anyone unless they share similar experiences. Sometimes it gets to the extent that I will cease relations with close friends because I feel like I cannot trust them anymore.

As I was growing up through elementary and middle school, I loved being in isolation. I still do, almost a year after I've been with the love of my life (to an extent, the isolation will also make you more clingy to people). There are sometimes days or weeks that I will stay in the house, alone, sleeping, listening to music, and talking on the computer all day. Isolation gives me time to think and to reflect on actions that I have taken or that I will take in the future.

downgrade said:

School is hard, no doubt. But (pending on what level of school you are in), people usually try to pick on others to make themselves seem cooler or make themselves feel better. Just let it go through one ear and out the other (which I know is harder to do than say, I've had to put up with it before as well). And for some, tests aren't made for them. I know many of my friends that know school material, but yet they fail the tests (my French class for example; I know the material outside of taking the test, but I usually make barely passing if even that on all tests). Just don't give up.

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Ugh! That happens to me on every single math test! I think I understand it, but the questions seem so confusing on the tests, and I just get nervous, painc and rush, and then I don't do so well. Its really annoying especially when all your friends get A s, and I can hardly pass a math test.

It use to happen to me, too. But mine was because of the teacher.

Sometimes you just have to take the subject over again; I know in my 8th grade year I bombed most of my tests, because my teacher didn't explain it. I got a better teacher the next year in 9th grade and passed easily.

downgrade said:

It use to happen to me, too. But mine was because of the teacher.

Sometimes you just have to take the subject over again; I know in my 8th grade year I bombed most of my tests, because my teacher didn't explain it. I got a better teacher the next year in 9th grade and passed easily.

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My parents will kill me if I fail any class, especially math since my Dad thinks I'll be good at it, since he was really good at math when he was in school.

Mine are the same; you just have to talk to them and make them realize that school is a lot harder than what it was back in their day and that it isn't always the student's fault that they fail the class.

downgrade said:

Mine are the same; you just have to talk to them and make them realize that school is a lot harder than what it was back in their day and that it isn't always the student's fault that they fail the class.

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Yeah, my Mom failed classes when she was in school, but my Dad was like a super smart honours student, and then my parents expect me to be the same way, espcially my Dad. My Mom just wants me to pass the course and try my hardest...

Ask your mom to talk to your dad and get him to lighten up on you. That's probably the best bet to getting your dad off your case; I had to get into a fight with mine for him to get off of mine, which you probably don't want to do.

Yeah, definately. My Dad scares me when he's angry, so I'd just end up crying, which would piss him off even more. He hates it when I cry, he thinks I should "grow up". I'm sorry but I'm just an overly emotional person. Maybe I'll try that. I just don't want to cause any big family fights or anything...

downgrade said:

Ask your mom to talk to your dad and get him to lighten up on you. That's probably the best bet to getting your dad off your case; I had to get into a fight with mine for him to get off of mine, which you probably don't want to do.

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whenever dealing with my parents i just took the abuse. Not saying thats the right way to go just sharing my past alittle. Whenever my dad got mad i just took it. Even if he was wrong. Because most the time even if i spoke up alittle bit it would end horribly on my part. But after moving out and being alone for some time they have seemed to lighten up alot. They actually call me and ask how im doing and want to make sure im okay. And my mom even offered for me to move back in. which i cant cause i have gabriel now ( my cat ) . But the way they act now didnt exist when i lived with them, most the times just the complete oposite. I was kicked out half the time for my last remaining years there having to sleep in my car for weeks on end. Not sure if i have a point. just sharing my experince. but time, time is always the healer for bad/good things. Long, sad, but true.