PA - lonely

I guess ill give a little story on my loneliness. About 10 months ago my Girlfriend convinced me to move up to Harrisburg with her so she could go to skool and live/ be closer to me. ( im originally from around the philly area, west chester ). So i used my savings and began the adventure to move. We found a place, set things up, moved our stuff and we were set. A month or so into the move things got odd. She would leave for days. Then weeks. Then finaly she walked out the door and never came back. Never called, Texted, emailed, or anything. I was officially alone. New area, no friends, no family, no girlfriend, and horrible social skillz. First confusion set in. I called her and emailed her constantly trying to figure out what was going on. I got nothing back. The confusion then turned into Anger. "how could you do this" "why me" that sorta thing. Then the anger turned into denial. Waking up not thinking that im alone but that life is okay and nothing is different. Watching TV alone thinking that everything is normal and nothing has changed. Going to bed at night. That was the hardest. Sleeping alone was the hardest thing to get use to. Many nights of no sleep. At this point im still in a little comunity college i enroled in, living off of the savings i had. Still no job but i tryed. Then i wake up one day and tell me self i cant live like this. Its Fall time by this point. I drive home for the weekend and visit family and friends. I go out that night with my two best friends from high skool. We end up getting mugged and shot at by some stupid young gheto kids. My friends and me finaly get to a point and run, i get away but both my friends get shot. One 3 times. the other 6 times. Both lived. After this incodent Major Guilt sets in. Why you may ask? Its very hard to explain. But seeing my best friends get shot wasnt as easy as it may seem. End of weekend i drive home. At this point ive lost my girlfriend, im completey alone in central pa, and now after i thought going home to see friends would be a good idea the shooting happens. Skool becomes nothing to me. I start to view things such as skool as complete BS. I drop out. Lock my doors and windows in my apartment and Think. Complete Isolation has begun officially in the begining of winter. ( i hate winter ). Many long nights and many arguments with in my own crazy head commence over these cold bitter winter months. Now winter is coming to an end. im still alone but have proggressed into moving back towards home outside of philly. Im also coming to conclusion that Not EVERYONE is evil...but im still very cuatious. Im sorry and i know this was long and it may have seemed like a sob story but its the truth. hmmm not sure what else to say but it donest feel like a good point to end. o well. See what happens and if you have any questions plz feel free to ask. Thanks for reading.

I'm surprised nobody even replied that they read all of this!

Seriously, You are the strongest persons i've ever heard of to go through all this crap and still keep going. Most people are very fragile and easy to go down and i'm impressed by how brave and maturily You are to make all of this public. This is the best post i've read so far in this place and i am proud to have a guy like You around.

I bet You already got quite a connection with the other people of this forum by now and already have been told all this by many, but i just like to tell You that i gladly would like to "pen-pal" with You if You ever needed a wall who really can listen to bounce thoughts at. You are the best **** guy i've so far come across on a forum.

Whoah I thought Mike had already posted this before and we did respond. In any case Mike knows how to get in touch with me.

Mike, I'm so glad that you were not the one shot. I hope those creeps who shot at you guys go to jail forever like they deserve.

You are a brave human, a good person, and have many wonderful qualities. Best wishes to you as you move back near home and start with a new clean slate.