"I love you and I want to be with you forever, but I'll NEVER ask you to marry me."

Every now and then I come across someone who holds this position, and I seriously don't understand: what's the deal with that? Isn't marriage basically a commitment for two people to be together until one of them dies (at least in theory)? Why is there so much fear of actually being married?

Some people say the reason is purely financial, which is practical but also calculating and kind of sad. Others say it's because they see marriage as a religious institution and they don't want to succumb to the Evil Force of Religion, but then marriage is as much of a religious institution as burial is and I don't see anyone refusing to be buried. Still others say they don't need a piece of paper to show the world what a committed relationship they're in, but that argument works only if they don't have a diploma since a diploma is just a piece of paper to show the world how educated you are.

Seriously, though, why is fear of marriage so prevalent these days? Fear of pricy wedding and the inevitable bridezilla that comes with it I can understand, but then there's always the option to have a simple ceremony at the city hall. In some states the ceremony isn't even mandatory!

Good question. I guess I'm on the other side of things. Women tend to use me for my man-goods then ditch me. They never want a relationship with me.

Actually some people do refuse to be buried.

As I see it, marriage as much a financial commitment to one another as it is a personal one. There aren't any laws in this country forbidding adultery.

People are REALLY protective of their money.

I understand the romance of getting married - making the pact with the one you love to be together forever. Given the general lack of romantic content in my life, the thought of security that marriage might bring has an appeal to me. At the same time it denies the possibility that other desires could happen despite one's best efforts. It seems that in the greater part of society, a married man or a married woman is expected to entirely swear off outside friendships with members of the opposite sex. This is something that I've got an issue with.

I can't say with certainty that monogamy is the only acceptable path. It's an institution that dates back thousands of years because of the family structure that it created. It's possible that we've moved beyond this. There are many unconventional families in the world today and it's not my place to judge.

Certain traditions I believe ARE outdated. Why in this era are most women so willing to abandon their last name? Isn't this an acknowledgment of submission? How about the wedding itself? The woman's family is expected to host the wedding. Isn't this because the man is expected to be the future breadwinner?

Becuase every so often you will come acrossed a person that's been involved in a divorce
wheather as a child or as an adult and it left an imprint in their lives or thinking.

I think anybody who actuallly loved you would be open to marriage. If they're saying otherwise they don't love you.

It's a personal decision and I'm sure is different for everyone. Speaking for myself, I've simply never seen any point nor had any desire to marry. Perhaps it goes back to my trust issues, which probably stem from my parents. In the first couple of years of my current relationship I did say if she really wanted to get married I would, but I'm glad it never happened as things are not good right now. She was not interested in marriage as she had been devorced twice, and at the time of both marriages she felt it was forever. After eight years of living in sin, I've been with her longer than either of her husbands.

It took me almost 7 years after my personal divorced to be able to ask my ex-gf to marry me.

When I asked my ex-wf to marry me...She was the love of my life. I love her more than life itself.
Our divorced devestated me. I took my a long time to get over that.

My fear of getting marry again put a strain on another long term relationship I had.
My gf at that time wouldn't live like that anymore...it wasn't that i didn't love her..
I did very much. I had a lot of fears or turst issues. She finally left me after 6 years.

On my last long term relationship. I finally got enough courage to popose to her...
She told me "NO" but wanted to keep the ring...errr..wtf???
I remember taking the ring off of her finger and throwing it away in a field.
Lol...of course i got her another ring..it wasn't a promised ring.
I just gave it to her becuase I love her.

I love Sherry very very much. It was a promise or vow I made to myself.
I stood by her side through thick and thin...In health and in sickness.
Technically Sherry was my wife by law becuase I lived with her for 12 years.
I was her husband, her friend, her BF, her lover and her enemy too.lol
I found it difficult to live wihtout Sherry sometimes.
With papers or without papers...I love her very much.
Not in a million years did I ever imagine living my life wihtout Sherry today.
Yes..forever...forever.

While our break up wasn't as messy as my divorced...it was still a bit messy.
I still love Sherry very much today...sometimes more than I can imagine.

I love me too...more than I can imagine.
As much as I love Sherry, I love myself a million times more.

Marriage today ??? I'm still open to it as I'm still open to love.

Marriage isn't needed to be in love with someone, to commit to them, be faithful to them, or want to stay with them.

Lonesome Crow said:

Becuase every so often you will come acrossed a person that's been involved in a divorce
wheather as a child or as an adult and it left an imprint in their lives or thinking.

Click to expand...

I saw a combined total of 10 marriages and divorces between my mother and father. I myself have been married only once and still married. I told myself that I was not going to treat people and relationships like my parents did and actually still do! I guess it did leave an imprint on my life and also on my thinking.....