Left by the one you love

I'm a 27 year old Graduate nurse. My fiancee left me a few months ago after a relationship that lasted for 3 years. It was my first and only meaningful relationship in all my 27 years of existence. She was my everything and I treated her accordingly but in the end of the three years she just turned all of it against me and left me for reasons that she never told me. (Maybe another guy?)

Well, Sure I'm broken up about it but I can move on. However, things aren't the same anymore cause now, I feel that don't want to be in another relationship. It's not mostly because that I fear rejection...it's just that I'm just too lazy to start all over again. Not too many people like me and only a handful of that few people I consider as friends...I only have 3 friends whom I seldom see, my family (dad, mum and sisters) live half a world away and I haven't seen them in years. So basically I don't have anyone to turn to. No confidant, nothing. I lost what little interest I had in having a "special someone". I don't even want a pet.

It was an emotionally traumatic experience for me being left by the only person whom I really cared for. (Apparently she didn't care about me but its not like anyone cares)

If you guys have any similar experience share it in this thread. You'll have my empathy....and just maybe I might be able to help you thresh out a problem or two. As for helping me out...don't bother, I'm beyond help.

Hi. I'm sorry for your loss. I too am in the same situation. I am in love with my husband whom I've spent the last 7 years of my life with. He recently has stopped loving me. Easter weekend we had a fight because his family, who has always disapproved of me, invited him and our children over - but not me. I am sick of being treated this way and it is very hurtful. I expected him to support me - but instead he just blasted me. Now he won't sleep with me or say "I love you". I apologized to him for being upset which he never accepted. I asked him if it were okay that I love him and he said that it is fine - but wouldn't say it back. I have tried to tell him a few times with no response back. I just spoke to him on the phone - just now. I was pouring my heart out to him about how terrified I am because I'm starting a new job Monday - I am struggling in school - blah blah blah... And before I hung up I told him that I loved him. All he said was "I know". And once again would not say it back. I've had this feeling of emptiness and lonliness for the last few years. I could try to talk to him about it - but I am afraid of what he might tell me. I really feel that I cannot live without him. I have never felt this way about anyone before. I don't know how to save our relationship. I don't even know if there is anything left to save. I can't even concentrate on anything - knowing that he no longer loves me. I can't concentrate on my studies - work - life... I am a total basket case right now. I can't stop crying. I can't just leave because we have two children together - and my two older children from a previous marraige consider this their home, too.

It sucks not knowing how something so good could go so wrong. I, too, have rejection issues. Sometimes the hurt is more of the fact of being rejected than not being with that person anymore.

I'm sure this is a very difficult time for you and with the gravity of this situation you're facing. It really is difficult to regain someones love especially if he or she feels otherwise. Though I can't offer you an answer to your heartache but I can offer you an audience. I can't pass judgment or offer my own opinions regarding your situation because I'm aware that it won't do any good. This isn't a time or place for "what if?'s".

All I can say is that I understand your grievance and you aren't alone. "True love is persistent and continues to love even if it receives nothing in return" as one saying went. If it's any consolation, I commend you, because few people love the way you do. May your heart find what it is that its searching so hard for.

I lost me g/f of 7 years the breakup was really my fault, but I corrected the problems, it was too late she moved on so easily..I wonder if she had been seing him before? Or she was really tired of how things were? She lead me on kind of though...that really hurt within a year she was married to another guy...I know what your going through...it hurts and I'm sorry your having to deal with it...

I wish you the best.

It's hard to have to start all over again, I know. I've been there. I was with my last fiance for two years but I did break up with him and break his heart. I had to because we had major compability problems. He was NOT interested in my interest and vice versa. Not to mention major sexual problems and incompatibilities.

We could not fix the relationship, I ended up cheating on him then I moved out. I feel bad and forever will. And he was good to me. A piece of my heart will love him forever.

My suggestion is not to see it as starting all over but as a chance to find something new and fresh. Believe me all relationships get old after several years together. It's hard to live with another person who is human, farts, makes messes, etc.

Try eharmony.com I know of two couples that married after that site.

lonelygirl sounds like my ex.

a lot like her. we lived together for 2+ years. we loved each other, but there were major compatibility problems. we had major intimacy problems, etc. she cheated on me, and then moved out. i was good to her. but i am not mad at her, because she did what ended up being right for the both of us because there was no other out.

it was the right thing to do, ending things that is. but still, knowing that it was the right thing to do doesn't do ANYTHING to cure this loneliness i feel or the fear of having to start over with someone else. it isn't the starting over part that scares me, it is just that she left me much older (and fatter, and broker) than i was when we first got together, and now i feel like i've got nothing going for me to use as bait for the next fish. i feel used and washed up, like an old race horse put out to pasture. and i'm only 28, to boot. i just have this anxiety whenever it comes to trying to find a new mate. i imagine her eyes focusing on all the flaws of my being. her eyes fixated on my bulging belly, my not-so-trendy wardrobe, and my empty wallet. i feel this and i crawl back under my rock. people can be so shallow and superficial, but you don't notice it until you have to face it alone.

there are so many things i miss, but it's the little things that get to me the most. not having anyone to eat with or not having someone to watch a crappy dvd with. those are the things that get to me pretty much daily. it's been over two years now.