heretostay
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- Nov 30, 2008
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this is kind of complicated so bare with me. ive never actually sorted out my thoughts on the matter. but here it goes.
Im in a rut. i want to be more financially independent, but my motivation to do so seems to be lacking. My H is the sole bread winner. I go to school and he pays for everything. just to give you an idea- my truck broke down three times in the past six months. it cost over $1600 to fix. my tuition cost over $8,000 for the past year. he spent over $800 taking me to some fancy hotel and spa. and there are, of course, the arduous daily living expenses that come to around a thousand or so a month.
i feel frustrated b/c i feel horribly guilty for not working but at the same time i dont even want to look for a job. im tired of having to start over. we've moved three times for his work and ive had to quit my job each time. but at the same time, id like to feel like a partner in the finances and not just a bystander. im just having a hard time applying for jobs. its kind of hard with my school schedule, too. My commute to school is an hour and a half. i take the bus.
I took out a loan for school in an effort to alleviate the burden on my H. and anyway, id like to feel more like a partner and less like a child. the loan is interest free until i graduate. i feel good about the decision, but i still dont feel motivated to find a job.
i havent worked in about a year. not since we moved to this new state. im trying to find the motivation but im tired. and its scary applying for jobs. i have virtually no references.
i dont really know what im getting at. just venting i guess. i know tomorrow i'll have to confront this issue again. every day that i dont apply for a job i feel guilty. i feel like a slacker and that im just making excuses. blah.
Im in a rut. i want to be more financially independent, but my motivation to do so seems to be lacking. My H is the sole bread winner. I go to school and he pays for everything. just to give you an idea- my truck broke down three times in the past six months. it cost over $1600 to fix. my tuition cost over $8,000 for the past year. he spent over $800 taking me to some fancy hotel and spa. and there are, of course, the arduous daily living expenses that come to around a thousand or so a month.
i feel frustrated b/c i feel horribly guilty for not working but at the same time i dont even want to look for a job. im tired of having to start over. we've moved three times for his work and ive had to quit my job each time. but at the same time, id like to feel like a partner in the finances and not just a bystander. im just having a hard time applying for jobs. its kind of hard with my school schedule, too. My commute to school is an hour and a half. i take the bus.
I took out a loan for school in an effort to alleviate the burden on my H. and anyway, id like to feel more like a partner and less like a child. the loan is interest free until i graduate. i feel good about the decision, but i still dont feel motivated to find a job.
i havent worked in about a year. not since we moved to this new state. im trying to find the motivation but im tired. and its scary applying for jobs. i have virtually no references.
i dont really know what im getting at. just venting i guess. i know tomorrow i'll have to confront this issue again. every day that i dont apply for a job i feel guilty. i feel like a slacker and that im just making excuses. blah.