I think I know why Im such a social retard

Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum

Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.

Angelo91

Member
Joined
May 8, 2009
Messages
11
Reaction score
0
Location
Witchita, Kansas
The computer, internet. I am on almost all the time and I am realizing its not good for me.

I have shyness issues and low self esteem because of my cleft lip. Its very hard to live knowing your not at all attractive to the opposite sex.

A scary feeling I get is that the internet is like another life of me. I think its unhealthy to be online for most of the day so im packing my computer away for good. (use my laptop for occasional email checks)

Am I alone or did I trigger something in someone els?

~Angelo
 
Angelo91 said:
The computer, internet. I am on almost all the time and I am realizing its not good for me.

I have shyness issues and low self esteem because of my cleft lip. Its very hard to live knowing your not at all attractive to the opposite sex.

A scary feeling I get is that the internet is like another life of me. I think its unhealthy to be online for most of the day so im packing my computer away for good. (use my laptop for occasional email checks)

Am I alone or did I trigger something in someone els?

~Angelo

I feel exactly the same, but i think having "another life" online is better than having no life at all. If you think you can make your life better (by not using your computer) then it's a good thing, and you'll always have it, so you can go back to it whenever you feel like. But, if it's only because of you thinking "it's unhealthy to be online for most of the day" and no other reason, then i would leave the computer exactly where it is.

Sorry if i didn't make any sense.
 
Punisher said:
I feel exactly the same, but i think having "another life" online is better than having no life at all. If you think you can make your life better (by not using your computer) then it's a good thing, and you'll always have it, so you can go back to it whenever you feel like. But, if it's only because of you thinking "it's unhealthy to be online for most of the day" and no other reason, then i would leave the computer exactly where it is.

Well said. I completely agree. For me personally, being able to post on a forum or chat to people, has helped tremendously. I don't know where I would be without that possibility. Of course, balance is always a good thing.

Also, I think that alot of "social people" are hooked on computers / the internet aswell. It's just a big part of life today, for good or bad.
 
You know what's wierd ?
I've only own a personal PC within the past two years and I've gotten less and less active.
I used one at work all the time..so the last thing I wanted to do was come home and stair at
the PC. The cell phone and text messaging is kind of retarded for me too.

Moderations had always been a struggle in my life. I always had some type of addictions
in my life. From gaming, music, women, hobbies, gambling, drugs, alcohol..etc

This computer thing is messing me up.
Kind of like someone trying to go on a diet...I guess. (you have to eat).
I'm trying to limit usage of it. I'm doing much better, however I still find myself on it more
than I should. I belive as long as I'm honest with myself and admitting it's creating
unmanageablities in my life, The better I'll get.

I spoken to my sponsor about it..so it's not like I'm keeping a secret.
I don't belive other people have OCPD as I do.

Well...fresia
I stopped smoking, I stopped drinking, I stopped drugging, I stopped gambling
I stopped *******...Pretty soon I' ma figure out how to stop living too...
 
Same here but I dont think I could ever pack it away. I'd have nothing to do instead... pretty much everything I do is on my laptop like movies, TV shows, chatting, music, school stuff, homework... everything!

Angelo91 said:
I have shyness issues and low self esteem because of my cleft lip. Its very hard to live knowing your not at all attractive to the opposite sex.

You're not alone! I actually have a cleft lip too. It probably isnt as noticable as you think it is. I still kinda freak out when people look at my face so I try to look away at something random to try and get them to look away from my face and I get really embarrassed when they finally notice it and ask whats wrong with my face because I get all nervous and I dont know how to explain it to them :( And when family friends say "Hey! You're actually as pretty as your mom and sisters if only.. umm.." then they point at my lips but you know what I dont care what they say cuz I like the way I look! I'm not saying that sometimes I dont hate having it but there are people who are alot worse so yea..
 
Sodium said:
Same here but I dont think I could ever pack it away. I'd have nothing to do instead... pretty much everything I do is on my laptop like movies, TV shows, chatting, music, school stuff, homework... everything!

Angelo91 said:
I have shyness issues and low self esteem because of my cleft lip. Its very hard to live knowing your not at all attractive to the opposite sex.

You're not alone! I actually have a cleft lip too. It probably isnt as noticable as you think it is. I still kinda freak out when people look at my face so I try to look away at something random to try and get them to look away from my face and I get really embarrassed when they finally notice it and ask whats wrong with my face because I get all nervous and I dont know how to explain it to them :( And when family friends say "Hey! You're actually as pretty as your mom and sisters if only.. umm.." then they point at my lips but you know what I dont care what they say cuz I like the way I look! I'm not saying that sometimes I dont hate having it but there are people who are alot worse so yea..

Same here, I hate stares! I move to kansas in like 3 weeks and will finish my senior year of high there. New school, i gotta start all over again :/ Does thing ever end?

I wish I had your attitude about my cleft. Im working on it though and I plan on going to therapy in kansas for help :)
 
Well atleast you got therapy to help you. I had no idea what it was. My parents never really explained it to me.. I remember when people asked me when I was younger I had no idea what to say so I said something different/random to each of them. I only figured out what it was when I was looking though a medical book.

I'm still not 100% comfortable when I talk face to face with people. Plus as a girl it really sucks since I cant grow a mustache to cover it up. I find it pretty hard to believe it when people say I'm pretty because I think they're just saying it to be nice. All the guys I know are into perfect flawless girls. I remember I tried hooking up my brother and he was like her nose is crooked or some other tiny flaw. I got really mad and thought wow wonder what guys think about me.. *Sigh*

Dont worry about it! If some one is bothered by the way you look, they're not worth it. Plus no one really cares in the end.. they'll notice it once, ask and never really mention it again.

Dont forget to smile :) I hardly used to but everyone is beautiful when they smile!
So smile your ass off :D:D

I suck at giving advice but I hope I helped in some way :)
 
Angelo91 said:
The computer, internet. I am on almost all the time and I am realizing its not good for me.

Am I alone or did I trigger something in someone els?

Yeah you almost got me. Sometimes I want to kill my computer, but then I realize I have no life without it. When my computer is off I am kinda lost, I get bored, I don't know what to do with myself. I don't even know what to do.
 
Maybe finding some kind of hobby will help? I've taken up guitar... and it's helped form friendships and given me something to do, it's also really enjoyable.
 
you know whats funny? I am doing the exact same thing I was doing 15-17 years ago.. Sure, a slightly different appearance and format, but essentially the same.

ahhh, the good old days of BBS's(Bulletin Board System). with a phoneline and modem for your computer, you call and connect to other peoples computers that have this BBS software. Calling up elite message boards that you needed to know someone that knew someone that knows someone. Of course you could come up with some kick ass slick name for yourself also. They called it a "handle". Mine was "dark disciple". There were also many different art and music groups that would release songs(composed on tracking software) and art(ansi or ascii) they made putting it in zipped up packs. groups like ACiD(ansi creators in demand) and iCE (insane creators enterprise). I remember playing text based games like usurper, where you are a warrior or wizard or whatever you want and you go in dungeons fighting monsters, gaining experience, and leveling up. In the town, you could obtain illegal drugs to increase your stats, but becareful, dont overdose. You could also go to a brothel and screw some whores. The cheaper the whore, the better chance of getting an STD... All the many different warez boards around. Downloading pirated software by the kilobyte with a 28.8 baud modem.

now we blog, and write stuff on msg forums. download torrents, play games.. socialize.. everything is the same. Just in a different skin.
 
Angelo91 said:
The computer, internet. I am on almost all the time and I am realizing its not good for me.

I have shyness issues and low self esteem because of my cleft lip. Its very hard to live knowing your not at all attractive to the opposite sex.

A scary feeling I get is that the internet is like another life of me. I think its unhealthy to be online for most of the day so im packing my computer away for good. (use my laptop for occasional email checks)

Am I alone or did I trigger something in someone els?

~Angelo

I know how you feel. With no friends, I usually spend my time on the internet surfing pointless crap and spending hours a day watching anime by self.
 
epileptic said:
... I remember playing text based games like usurper, where you are a warrior or wizard or whatever you want and you go in dungeons fighting monsters, gaining experience, and leveling up. In the town, you could obtain illegal drugs to increase your stats, but becareful, dont overdose. ...

Tradewars and LoRD [Legend of the Red Dragon]
 
*Sigh* said:
Angelo91 said:
The computer, internet. I am on almost all the time and I am realizing its not good for me.

I have shyness issues and low self esteem because of my cleft lip. Its very hard to live knowing your not at all attractive to the opposite sex.

A scary feeling I get is that the internet is like another life of me. I think its unhealthy to be online for most of the day so im packing my computer away for good. (use my laptop for occasional email checks)

Am I alone or did I trigger something in someone els?

~Angelo

I know how you feel. With no friends, I usually spend my time on the internet surfing pointless crap and spending hours a day watching anime by self.

^^ same here. I have friends but we don't go out, everyone's hook on the internet. Everything to do with college, lecture notes, tutorial questions, information can be found on the internet, so... There's no avoiding the internet.
I spend my time on forums and watching anime too. sometimes I talk to people on MSN. but I don't have much to say, not much of a talker -.-
 
i am such a social retard. seriously, i have about 2 friends and i make huge social faux pas, and i look like a moody biatch when really, im just hungry.

people walk into me in the street, take one look, and walk away as if they are confused by the fact that there was someone in the way. how dare i, a social retard, look them in the eye and glare at them.

MARGH
 
I'm a social retard because of my mothers habit of calling people hanging out together or young couples, "chiflados" which translates loosely to 'time wasters' or 'silly in a stupid way.'
I never wanted my mom to think I was a chiflado, so I didnt hang out in groups or admit I liked girls, which led to my alienation in middle school and to my being a social retard nowadays in college.
 
I'm starting to really hate the question "How are you", simply because I feel like I never have a good response. My response is always something like "I'm fine/good, how are you?" But I get that question a lot (often from strangers), and I sense that they are trying to start a conversation with me. If that is the case, I need to start getting comfortable with saying more of what's on my mind. Well, maybe the problem is that at those moments, there really isn't anything on my mind that's exciting enough to share. If there is, then it's something (gloomy) that I do not wish to share. That is why they get a mere "I'm fine, how are you" response.
 
jjam said:
I'm starting to really hate the question "How are you", simply because I feel like I never have a good response. My response is always something like "I'm fine/good, how are you?" But I get that question a lot (often from strangers), and I sense that they are trying to start a conversation with me. If that is the case, I need to start getting comfortable with saying more of what's on my mind. Well, maybe the problem is that at those moments, there really isn't anything on my mind that's exciting enough to share. If there is, then it's something (gloomy) that I do not wish to share. That is why they get a mere "I'm fine, how are you" response.

Small talk strikes again eh :( ? I don't like that either. I'll put on my mask and say something like "yeah, things are alright, how about you?" (spicing up the usual "I'm fine" formula you see lol) when in actual fact, inside there's a voice inside saying that things aren't fine and that there isn't anything else to say. There is nothing to talk about so leave me alone...

I'm such a social retard as well. I once went on a night walk with my dad and used those exact words to describe me. I was in a chatty mood I suppose. I was talking about how the way they didn't allow me to go out with my friends when I was younger has contributed to this and now social things are harder for me because I didn't get that grounding that everyone else did. There's no point feeling bitter about it now...I've just got to try to overcome my problems.

Seriously, things aren't great at the moment. I haven't stepped out of the house for so long. I might as well be a friggin hermit. Even my family thinks I'm not right :/ The internet is how I interact now, but I'm starting to dispise it.
 
I wouldn't call you a social retard. Just your not good as socialising.

I am also sure that there would be chicks out there that would dig you, and there not going to find you at home :D So get out there, take small steps, and aim for your goal.
 

Latest posts

Back
Top