Agnostic -> Christianity Conversion

So, one day me and my girlfriend had a talk about religion and it came to the point of her saying she is perfectly fine with me being agnostic for now, but she doesn't know how she will feel later down the road. We both want it to change, but she recognizes that conversion and realization of conversion takes time.

I've got reasons I want to change; in no particular order:

- I don't want this to upset our relationship. I want her to be able to talk to me about this, and to help me with it and to be there for each other about it.
- I've recently become very emotional when I've went to church. The past 2 times (granted, the first of those 2 times was about 6 months ago, or longer. The second time was today). I was teary eyed the whole time; just a mention of being saved or talking about it made me tear up. The thing that almost got me crying was when a little kid (no more than 5 years old) went up to the preacher and told him he wanted to be saved. Through the whole 1 hour 30 minute service, I had teared up about 10 different times. I came close to crying about 4 or 5 of those times. Then, we had a Christian band come and sing for our church's 33rd anniversary (the band was called Safe Harbor), and every time they would say certain names or certain things, I would get shivers down my spine and chill bumps and everything. Also, when they asked people to come ask forgiveness for their mistakes they made or things that have hurt them and still hurt them now, I felt like I was being pushed to go up there and ask for forgiveness, but I was too scared to. And I didn't know what to do. So I just sat there, with tears in my eyes.

But converting goes against a lot of things for me...

- It's hard for me to believe anything I can't see.
- I push everyone away (with the exception of my girlfriend).
- It's hard for me to trust anyone.
- My past makes it hard for me to rely on anyone other than myself or to put faith in something such as a God.

I guess I'm scared of what will happen. I'm just confused on what to do. Sometimes I think I look foolish talking about something like this to another person, which is why I prefer to do it over the internet.

Wow. I'll start out by saying that I'm a very serious agnostic, just so you know where I'm coming from. I've met many people who call themselves agnostics for various reasons, but often they haven't really thought about or studied the theories behind agnosticism. That's ok- not everyone has to be hard core, but if you're trying to decide between various beliefs, you would probably benefit from some investigation into your options (in your case it seems to be agnosticism and Christianity).

Agnosticism isn't just not believing in or not being sure about the existence of God. Agnosticism is the believe that the existence of God or any part of a metaphysical plane other than our own cannot be proven, known, or illuminated by any human methods.

If you honestly believe that humans are incapable of knowing or feeling the presence of God, it seems like it would be hypocritical of you to convert to a religion that is based around a god. But, if you're just confused and not sure about whether God exists, you might find that exploring Christianity or some other religion could change the way you feel about the existence of god.

I'd suggest checking some books out from your public library on agnosticism, Christianity, and the philosophy of religion (the last will present arguments and logical proofs about various religious and metaphysical beliefs, many of which show that most religions incorporate beliefs that cannot be logically possible). You should keep going to church- maybe check out a couple, and talk to the ministers/priests/whatevers. You obviously had some reaction to attending church. Whether that was because you were affected by the sense of community or by your latent connection to God remains to be seen.

Anyway, don't convert to a religion you don't believe in for your girlfriend! If you convert, it should be because you really believe in the tenets of the church. Otherwise you're not being honest with yourself, your girlfriend, or God (if you choose to believe in him). Good luck!

i'm also agnostic (tho i rather the word infidel). But putting that aside i will say this

You said
But converting goes against a lot of things for me...

- It's hard for me to believe anything I can't see.
- I push everyone away (with the exception of my girlfriend).
- It's hard for me to trust anyone.
- My past makes it hard for me to rely on anyone other than myself or to put faith in something such as a God.

How can ur past make it difficult to put your faith in God? (just curious)

From what u said, u want to believe but you have doubt. So explore your doubt. Question the things you doubt very seriously and you will find your answers.

You can either do that or just accept christianity and go to church n be saved...if u do this you will still have doubt in ur quite moments and it will bug u until u explore them.

What's stopping u from questioning the things u don't see but the says bible exist? All u need is a bible and your brain, u also have the internet...more than i had growing up.
Writing is a good way to figure out what u think (i think..ie. 4 me)

hope that helped
i know i babble.....lol

Hmm well,

I would say not to make up your mind. Just keep going to church if you like it or feel any joy or conviction from it.

I know that I had not gone to church in years when I went out of the blue. The sermon seemed tailor made for me. Years later, the same thing again. Maybe I do better with just irregular church attending!

Tell her you are not yet ready to decide but you will be open minded.

You don't see wind but you know it exists. You don't see atoms but you know they make up matter. So don't just believe in things you SEE but also things you feel.

Why are religious people so intolerent I mean you believe in something that should be good enough for a friendship. You made it sound like she said maybe in life you will lose her due to different beliefs. But this is coming from a guy who isnt even religious in the whole. And I would just find a majority of the church things, manipulation, a brain washing. However Im more here to comment on the fact that what people said before seemed more correct in that its about you. And she shouldnt be trying to force it on you or threaten you by losing her. And though it was subtle very subtle it felt like that was something you were afraid of.