another loner

Hello all you lonely people. I'm one of many loners who found this forum via google search. I've been ghosting the site for couple months, but haven't posted much. I am impressed with the sense of community that is being generated here. You all seem like cool people, though somewhat more depressed than I like. But go figure. I want to befriend all of you.

I have always been lonely. Can't remember when I wasn't lonely. I grew up an only child in a single parent household. Live alone. Always had a great social life, lots of friends and a few girlfriends in there too, but I can't shake the loneliness. Don't know if its me or if I just have the wrong friends. Anyway, it is real annoying. Thats why Im here I guess.

Hi Loki,

What kind of loneliness do you have? Is it an existential loneliness, aka what are we doing on this planet, it seems people never really understand another human being kind of loneliness, or just a "no one really understands me" loneliness?

You are so lucky to have a social life and relationship. Many of us don't have that. For example I have never fit in to the group and even when I had some "friends" in college to socialize with aka go to dance clubs and the like no one but my one friend ever really understood or cared about me.

lonelygirl said:

Hi Loki,

What kind of loneliness do you have? Is it an existential loneliness, aka what are we doing on this planet, it seems people never really understand another human being kind of loneliness, or just a "no one really understands me" loneliness?

You are so lucky to have a social life and relationship. Many of us don't have that. For example I have never fit in to the group and even when I had some "friends" in college to socialize with aka go to dance clubs and the like no one but my one friend ever really understood or cared about me.

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Good morining Lonelygirl!! Tnx for writing back! It sucks you never fit in. Maybe it's because you're a extra special lady who hasn't found an equal? You don't really want party friends though do you? I think you want good friends you can trust. Well, me too!

I dunno what existential loneliness means, I suck at that stuff. What do you think it means?

Don't know why I am lonely. Just am. I can play the dating game ok. I am great at parties and social gatherings, always win lots of friends. But, now that I'm a grownup halfway through my twenties I'm noticing that I don't have the kind of friends a man really needs. All I got is fun friends and no close friends. Never had a close friend. Yeah I don't think anyone understands me but thats probly because I'm in the wrong crowd for that you know? So I want better friends but don't know where to start. So i came here. Thought there'd be people here who know what I'm talking about.

Hi Loki,

I don't know how extra special I am

I understand what you are talking about. I never fit into the group, my whole life. I guess I think differently than most people and I refuse to back down and just pretend in order to fit in. My curse then is to be lonely and misunderstood. When I was in college at one point briefly I had "social" friends aka people to go to clubs, go to parties, etc with. However I had to really work to stay involved. For example if everyone was going to lunch I just tagged a long, perhaps no one invited me. If I wasn't at a party or whatever no one seemed to miss me and it seemed that I was just part of the group but not a valued member, or so it felt.

You seem that you want REAL friends to understand the inside you. Well hanging around with frat boys at drunken parties is perhaps not the best way. I would look for someone who seems to have things in common with you--same interest in music, movies, etc. Just focus on that one person rather than the group and invite that person for one on one activities. If they don't hit it off with you try someone else.

Existential loneliness is part of being human, the human condition. It's the feeling that no one ever really knows and understands another human being. we're all so wrapped up in our egos.