Why do people convey their insecurities onto others?

I work away from home and I am surrounded by competitive people, it is a strange atmosphere. These people are constantly trying to get one-upmanship, taking the piss out of people, belittling them in front of others and stuff like this, I know someone who suffers from this regularly and it is boring to watch, but it seems common.

The only reason I can really think of is it makes them feel good about themselves. I much prefer to be friendly to people and have a laugh, banter is ok, but character assassination makes me feel sick. In general most people are not honest and never share their feelings or thoughts as they are scared they will become the butt of jokes themselves, this is sad.

Everyone has insecurities and I have mine, but when I go out I like to chill and have a good time, good conversation, some jokes, be nice to people and I never ridicule someone else. Why can't most people be like this, sometimes when I go out it's like being back in school, people actually bullying others, I didn't like seeing it when I was a kid and I don't like it now. Nights out now are hard work, I find myself leaving early and turning down invites as I prefer my own company to this.

I should also mention that the main people that act like this can't take it in return and things get messy, really it is like being in school.

One last thing is they are so nosey as well, I can't understand why people care so much about what others are doing? Maybe I sound antisocial but I am not

Has anyone else experienced this in their adult life or have any thoughts.

gingin said:

Has anyone else experienced this in their adult life or have any thoughts.

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I've seen it too, and I also don't get it. I don't understand how tearing someone else down can prop yourself up. I think that it would make me feel like honeysuckle.

I've never enjoyed the laugh-at-the-sideshow-freaks mentality.

gingin said:

One last thing is they are so nosey as well, I can't understand why people care so much about what others are doing?

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I can only guess that people who fall prey to keeping up with the Joneses do it because their self-worth hinges completely on status and what others think of them.

It's mystifying, I agree. Sure, we all care somewhat about what people think of us, but to let it rule our lives?

Yeah and it's anyone they know won't shoot them down, sad, boring and I don't get it.

But, do people really know the kinds of impressions they convey? .... members project their own traits and emotions onto others (e.g., Sillars, ..... when insecure individuals think they have conveyed their insecurities. .... people attempt to convey their needs or preferences may lay the foundation........

I find this type of behavior at work with Colleagues and yes it sucks, as I too just want to get on and not have to put up with other people's facetious bullshit. At work it's going to be the standard with at least one person you work with cause they want to be seen as the better, more intelligent worker so they can start arse licking towards a promotion or payrise.