Finally realized I want to be more social but am in final year in university

To sum up my issue with 1 sentence would be: I'm in 4th year and graduating next year, but I finally realized that I want to be more social, honeysuckle.

I've always had small groups of close friends and the ones I keep now are drawing further away since we're all moving onto different areas of studies and work etc. I've always known that I was smart and always distanced myself with people because my views and interests usually differed. I passed the gifted test in elementary school and entered the program in middle school and placed in the top 10 of my program twice at uni. I know I have potential both in terms of technical and social skills, and have been told by girls that I have really rare qualities such as compassion, artistic appreciations, love of deep conversations, all these potentials just add pressure to me. Like I know I can socialize and very comfortably, but I'm rarely ever open to opportunities to do so, at least before my change of attitude. I think I just didn't feel it was worth my time at that stage of my life. I know, wtf was I thinking really.

One major reason I didn't get to socialize much is that I commute to uni everyday and didn't get involved in anything clubs or classes etc until recently, but because it's the last year, it's pretty freakn hard and seemingly pointless to find new friends.

I appear to be alone most of the time at school but irradiate this confidence that actually attracts some people but my unwillingness to be interested in them intimates them. This confidence is a combination of genuine confidence but also a front I put on because I'm actually quite insecure about my identity.

After moving out of my home, where my parents lived, to work during an internship, I realized that a lot of stuff I thought I should be aiming for in life didn't really matter to me that much and that there was a shitload of stuff that I missed out on. Getting out of my bubble and being in industry really opened my eyes but I'm honestly pretty lost right now mainly because I feel it's so late, I'm in my 4th year, graduating and I foresee that life after uni is much harder for socializing.

I'm wondering if anyone current has similar experiences or had them in the past and if you could share a little insight, that would be great, but it's cool to just write it out since I'm sure someone will relate eventually hehe, this forum is interesting like that.

get in the masters program. 2 extra years there.

that and id say your problem is purely in your head. go to clubs, bars or conventions or something, plenty of ppl there. Or you could just make friends and invite them for a drink or something later in the day.

best of luck

MountainTop said:

get in the masters program. 2 extra years there.

that and id say your problem is purely in your head. go to clubs, bars or conventions or something, plenty of ppl there. Or you could just make friends and invite them for a drink or something later in the day.

best of luck

Click to expand...

Yeah I know it's all my perception of things, and am actually considering masters of engineering, which is just 1 year, to extend my time. I'm not really interested in meeting the people in engineering masters programs, just that I would like to live downtown on campus and take advantage of all the opportunities there that I didn't for my first 3 years.

As for clubs and bars, clubs are not my thing but conventions and bars for sure, I'm taking more initiative to actually try to attend events etc, we'll see how it goes.

Hi,

I am also in University, first year though.
I have some friends in school, but they are not very close friends.

Personally, I still feel lonely after chit chatting with "friends" on a superficial level.
How do I find more close friends or a soul mate?

In fact I just wish I had ONE close friend..

yoyodragon said:

Hi,

I am also in University, first year though.
I have some friends in school, but they are not very close friends.

Personally, I still feel lonely after chit chatting with "friends" on a superficial level.
How do I find more close friends or a soul mate?

In fact I just wish I had ONE close friend..

Click to expand...

I think people's friendliness depend on the program and year you're in, but that doesn't take away the most important factor which is your own goal to make deeper relationships. As a first year, it's a really good thing that you still have 4 years to go, a really good way to meet people and develop deep relationships is to gather with people that have the same interests as you, like clubs etc.

Start now don't wanna be like me and start too late. I just became less interested in making friends as the years went by since I didn't find the people in my program and year interesting at all (engineers are generally less interesting than artsies) and I didn't make the effort to go outside of my program and year to meet people because I didn't care enough. When I began my first year a very social friend with many deep relationships, who entered uni before me, told me that make lot's of friend in first year because people get less friendly fast, but in the beginning everyone is really open, and from my observations, this is so true. Also don't expect everyone you meet to be interested in friendship, just keep an open mind, no need to be disappointed and keep the goal in mind.

I'm at Uni as well (first year) and actually expected I'd make lots of friends there. It's not that I did not do anything to make that happen. At the beginning was very cheerful meeting new people, expecting the kind of crazy stuff you see in the movies (the rules of attraction, how high), big parties, lot of drink, girls, laugh, gatherings in the campus discussing ideas, etc. but I soon found out that they were just movies... After 2 months I ended up with a depressed and depressing girl, meeting at her place regularly, we smoked, drank, messed, but it was me and her, and didn't love her at all. After a few weeks she began ******* two other guys, had a fight with them, etc.
I spent my mid-term holliday (1 month and a half) almost on my own. All the telephone numbers I dialled hoping I'd meet people from school outside the school, but it was useless, everybody was busy, or so they would say...
At the end of the second semestre I was completly dissillusioned.
My point is: there's the idea of the life at school that you imagine in your head, and the actual everyday boring life there is.
Everybody knows about 3 or 4 people, they feel comfortable with them and it's hard to be part of them. You have your own group and that's about it.
The Uni as we expect it to be is a lie lol

There are interesting people everywhere, but you do have to put in some work to find it. Nothing in life will fall into your lap.

I'm also going into my last year of university and I'm only now starting to try being more social, try striking up some small talk with someone sitting near you in a class. I've made quite a few acquaintances and a couple of friends just from doing this.

social interactions don't end with university