To sum up my issue with 1 sentence would be: I'm in 4th year and graduating next year, but I finally realized that I want to be more social, honeysuckle.
I've always had small groups of close friends and the ones I keep now are drawing further away since we're all moving onto different areas of studies and work etc. I've always known that I was smart and always distanced myself with people because my views and interests usually differed. I passed the gifted test in elementary school and entered the program in middle school and placed in the top 10 of my program twice at uni. I know I have potential both in terms of technical and social skills, and have been told by girls that I have really rare qualities such as compassion, artistic appreciations, love of deep conversations, all these potentials just add pressure to me. Like I know I can socialize and very comfortably, but I'm rarely ever open to opportunities to do so, at least before my change of attitude. I think I just didn't feel it was worth my time at that stage of my life. I know, wtf was I thinking really.
One major reason I didn't get to socialize much is that I commute to uni everyday and didn't get involved in anything clubs or classes etc until recently, but because it's the last year, it's pretty freakn hard and seemingly pointless to find new friends.
I appear to be alone most of the time at school but irradiate this confidence that actually attracts some people but my unwillingness to be interested in them intimates them. This confidence is a combination of genuine confidence but also a front I put on because I'm actually quite insecure about my identity.
After moving out of my home, where my parents lived, to work during an internship, I realized that a lot of stuff I thought I should be aiming for in life didn't really matter to me that much and that there was a shitload of stuff that I missed out on. Getting out of my bubble and being in industry really opened my eyes but I'm honestly pretty lost right now mainly because I feel it's so late, I'm in my 4th year, graduating and I foresee that life after uni is much harder for socializing.
I'm wondering if anyone current has similar experiences or had them in the past and if you could share a little insight, that would be great, but it's cool to just write it out since I'm sure someone will relate eventually hehe, this forum is interesting like that.
I've always had small groups of close friends and the ones I keep now are drawing further away since we're all moving onto different areas of studies and work etc. I've always known that I was smart and always distanced myself with people because my views and interests usually differed. I passed the gifted test in elementary school and entered the program in middle school and placed in the top 10 of my program twice at uni. I know I have potential both in terms of technical and social skills, and have been told by girls that I have really rare qualities such as compassion, artistic appreciations, love of deep conversations, all these potentials just add pressure to me. Like I know I can socialize and very comfortably, but I'm rarely ever open to opportunities to do so, at least before my change of attitude. I think I just didn't feel it was worth my time at that stage of my life. I know, wtf was I thinking really.
One major reason I didn't get to socialize much is that I commute to uni everyday and didn't get involved in anything clubs or classes etc until recently, but because it's the last year, it's pretty freakn hard and seemingly pointless to find new friends.
I appear to be alone most of the time at school but irradiate this confidence that actually attracts some people but my unwillingness to be interested in them intimates them. This confidence is a combination of genuine confidence but also a front I put on because I'm actually quite insecure about my identity.
After moving out of my home, where my parents lived, to work during an internship, I realized that a lot of stuff I thought I should be aiming for in life didn't really matter to me that much and that there was a shitload of stuff that I missed out on. Getting out of my bubble and being in industry really opened my eyes but I'm honestly pretty lost right now mainly because I feel it's so late, I'm in my 4th year, graduating and I foresee that life after uni is much harder for socializing.
I'm wondering if anyone current has similar experiences or had them in the past and if you could share a little insight, that would be great, but it's cool to just write it out since I'm sure someone will relate eventually hehe, this forum is interesting like that.