The Writer
Well-known member
I already made a quick introduction to myself.
Afraid of telling too much too much about myself, I kept it short. These last few days though, I have realised that I need to put my fears aside and write why I’m here in the first place, otherwise what’s the point?
I’ve always been socially handicapped… Never completely without friends, but they weren’t people I really clicked with. When I went to New Zealand I became part of a larger group of awesome, freakishly random Kiwis. I even got a boyfriend, whom I fell deeply in love with. We were part of the same group, everything was awesome. Except for the fact that I had to leave again…
When I left, said boyfriend came with me back to Denmark for a month. Even though I had left behind all the guys, it was okay, cause he was there.
A few days after he left I was starting a new school and everything was just shittier than life has ever been. My parents had moved to a new house deep within the country while I had been gone and I hated that house, I hated school, everything. The only thing that kept me going was that I had to go back this winter, working my ass off every weekend to achieve it.
I’d live my life from one moment at the computer to the next, just waiting for someone to sign on to messenger. Every time one of them would mention my ex it would hurt like honeysuckle, like such things does.
More than a month ago I received an email from him, where he said he wanted to come back here in a bit less than a year. He loved me still. I couldn’t believe it, I knew it wouldn’t work but I had to say yes!
All our mates told me I was silly if I thought he’d let me go… So I didn’t… But he did. He couldn’t handle the long distance, and who am I to judge him?
Now it just hurts all over again, even worse than before, because this time he took down a bit of my dignity as well.
I’m back to who I always was, as if New Zealand had never happened. I’m a social disaster, I’m afraid of the crowded halls and my fellow students. My mother is always laughing at me for some reason I don’t understand, and every time I hear any news from NZ I can hear they pity me as if they know I’m a wreck, and that he is perfectly fine by now…
I know I’m whining and I’m sorry. I just feel like I’ve gone back in time… I’m back to grey, lonely 14. And it doesn’t look like it will ever change. Young Danes don’t get it. They don’t get being weird just for the fun of it, or any of the things that use to make me laugh…
I just felt the need to tell someone, and what better place to do it than here?
If you made it to the end of my odd tale, then thank you for listening.
Afraid of telling too much too much about myself, I kept it short. These last few days though, I have realised that I need to put my fears aside and write why I’m here in the first place, otherwise what’s the point?
I’ve always been socially handicapped… Never completely without friends, but they weren’t people I really clicked with. When I went to New Zealand I became part of a larger group of awesome, freakishly random Kiwis. I even got a boyfriend, whom I fell deeply in love with. We were part of the same group, everything was awesome. Except for the fact that I had to leave again…
When I left, said boyfriend came with me back to Denmark for a month. Even though I had left behind all the guys, it was okay, cause he was there.
A few days after he left I was starting a new school and everything was just shittier than life has ever been. My parents had moved to a new house deep within the country while I had been gone and I hated that house, I hated school, everything. The only thing that kept me going was that I had to go back this winter, working my ass off every weekend to achieve it.
I’d live my life from one moment at the computer to the next, just waiting for someone to sign on to messenger. Every time one of them would mention my ex it would hurt like honeysuckle, like such things does.
More than a month ago I received an email from him, where he said he wanted to come back here in a bit less than a year. He loved me still. I couldn’t believe it, I knew it wouldn’t work but I had to say yes!
All our mates told me I was silly if I thought he’d let me go… So I didn’t… But he did. He couldn’t handle the long distance, and who am I to judge him?
Now it just hurts all over again, even worse than before, because this time he took down a bit of my dignity as well.
I’m back to who I always was, as if New Zealand had never happened. I’m a social disaster, I’m afraid of the crowded halls and my fellow students. My mother is always laughing at me for some reason I don’t understand, and every time I hear any news from NZ I can hear they pity me as if they know I’m a wreck, and that he is perfectly fine by now…
I know I’m whining and I’m sorry. I just feel like I’ve gone back in time… I’m back to grey, lonely 14. And it doesn’t look like it will ever change. Young Danes don’t get it. They don’t get being weird just for the fun of it, or any of the things that use to make me laugh…
I just felt the need to tell someone, and what better place to do it than here?
If you made it to the end of my odd tale, then thank you for listening.
i'm sorry. i hope everything gets better for you
