SO? JUST HOW WEIRD ARE WE????? LOL

Kinda of new around here, I guess I just come to vent my spleen, so to say, though hopefully there is more soul than spleen. It's bad enough to be this old, fat, worthless, chronically unemployed and lonely, but I don't want to turn into a bitter whiner.
Some people been talking on my introduction post got me to thinking...

Just how odd are we that we are so alone? I mean, I don't see myself as all that outrageously leper-like, yanno? Ok, so I'm a fat old lady, I'm not 300 pounds fat, but I'm still hefty enough for it to have started giving me serious complications with my health.

I tend to feel like maybe that is really off-putting to alot of folks who might be as lonely as me...well, men especially. If you haven't any sexual allure, most men tend to not waste their time on a woman.... there has to be that sexual pull for them to invest time....and I am just totally dead from the neck down. Have no driving need to want one night stands. Once they find that out, it's sayonara baby. Jeesh.... thought we had great conversations, but apparently great conversations are meaningless in the long haul. Women aren't much better, most seem hell bent on getting a man, desperately not caring who they pick up in a bar. I just can't see myself getting that desperate for human companionship.

I am more inclined to believe that at least at my age, it is a combination of moving out of the state I lived in my entire adult life, trying to set up another new life at my age is almost impossible...

Plus, at my age, I'm just so tired of the struggle, you just get to a point where you know you've tried everything, done everything, joined this group and that, did the church thing, the exercise thing, the book club thing, the volunteer 20 hours a week thing, the classes thing, the internet thing till you feel like how much more energy can you keep putting into all this with no return? I can't understand why it is so darn hard to connect with people. Is it cause they all have such incredible lives that there is just no room for another person? I realize most people have jobs and family...life is hectic these days....but to not find one soul that resonates to mine just seems odd.



welllllll whatever....I have droned on here endlessly and if you got to the end of this mini-polemic, the question stands. What the heck is it about us chronically alone people that precludes others from including us in their jam-packed-people-populated-hectic-preset-on automatic-pilot lives????? I mean, if it doesn't involve sex, it seems like no one really is interested in anyone else as a human being in their own right.

How about going out with a fat man?

why not? what possible thing would keep me, as lonely and disconnected from the world as I am, from not giving anyone, anyone a chance. I don't care what anyone looks like - outward appearances mean nothing. Such superficiality is ridiculous... heck, there is a really nice guy at a local library who is a dwarf, and I'd love to strike up a friendship with him, but he isn't so inclined.... and I really DO have to think that a great majority of people make immediate assumptions about you just based on the way you look... or your circumstances. I have been on online dating sites forever...not one fat man ever ever ever responds to me.... they all want thinner women. Have had discussions with a few women on these sites and they concur....not one of us would not give anyone, whether they were unemployed, married 3 times, whatever, a chance. I think the only deal breaker for all of us was drug or alcohol problems. been there and done that...oddly enough, most of them had too. But we'd definitely meet a guy who said he was in recovery, walking the walk and not just talking the talk. Judy left the site, because she met a guy at the mall, he dropped a bunch of packages, she helped pick them up, he was kinda palsyed, turns out he had a brain injury and gets these muscles spasms he no longer can control.... she suggested they rest for a minute on a bench, one thing led to another....and she is now engaged to him. No. I think women are far less discriminatory than men are...so much so that I do not actively look for any kind of dating situation at all anymore. I am firmly of the belief that no man, no matter how lonely he is, is going to invest time on anyone who isn't going to be a potential sexual partner. period. end of story for them. I'd give anyone a chance with a friendship and companionship.... anyone without a drug problem.... I just don't believe there are many people who think the way I do, there are a few here or there...but even the women I have struck up email relationships mostly only concentrate on men men men, and admit that though lonely, aren't inclined to pass the time with females because a female is just a potential rival for the attentions of the man they are desperate for. How sick is that? Honestly. I have been told flat out that if I put out sexually, I won't be so lonely. UGH. ICK. Yeah, I bet there are alot of women who fill their lives with meaningless sex, I just ain't one of them.