deirdre
Well-known member
- Joined
- Nov 11, 2009
- Messages
- 88
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Kinda of new around here, I guess I just come to vent my spleen, so to say, though hopefully there is more soul than spleen. It's bad enough to be this old, fat, worthless, chronically unemployed and lonely, but I don't want to turn into a bitter whiner.
Some people been talking on my introduction post got me to thinking...
Just how odd are we that we are so alone? I mean, I don't see myself as all that outrageously leper-like, yanno? Ok, so I'm a fat old lady, I'm not 300 pounds fat, but I'm still hefty enough for it to have started giving me serious complications with my health.
I tend to feel like maybe that is really off-putting to alot of folks who might be as lonely as me...well, men especially. If you haven't any sexual allure, most men tend to not waste their time on a woman.... there has to be that sexual pull for them to invest time....and I am just totally dead from the neck down. Have no driving need to want one night stands. Once they find that out, it's sayonara baby. Jeesh.... thought we had great conversations, but apparently great conversations are meaningless in the long haul. Women aren't much better, most seem hell bent on getting a man, desperately not caring who they pick up in a bar. I just can't see myself getting that desperate for human companionship.
I am more inclined to believe that at least at my age, it is a combination of moving out of the state I lived in my entire adult life, trying to set up another new life at my age is almost impossible...
Plus, at my age, I'm just so tired of the struggle, you just get to a point where you know you've tried everything, done everything, joined this group and that, did the church thing, the exercise thing, the book club thing, the volunteer 20 hours a week thing, the classes thing, the internet thing till you feel like how much more energy can you keep putting into all this with no return? I can't understand why it is so darn hard to connect with people. Is it cause they all have such incredible lives that there is just no room for another person? I realize most people have jobs and family...life is hectic these days....but to not find one soul that resonates to mine just seems odd.
welllllll whatever....I have droned on here endlessly and if you got to the end of this mini-polemic, the question stands. What the heck is it about us chronically alone people that precludes others from including us in their jam-packed-people-populated-hectic-preset-on automatic-pilot lives????? I mean, if it doesn't involve sex, it seems like no one really is interested in anyone else as a human being in their own right.
Some people been talking on my introduction post got me to thinking...
Just how odd are we that we are so alone? I mean, I don't see myself as all that outrageously leper-like, yanno? Ok, so I'm a fat old lady, I'm not 300 pounds fat, but I'm still hefty enough for it to have started giving me serious complications with my health.
I tend to feel like maybe that is really off-putting to alot of folks who might be as lonely as me...well, men especially. If you haven't any sexual allure, most men tend to not waste their time on a woman.... there has to be that sexual pull for them to invest time....and I am just totally dead from the neck down. Have no driving need to want one night stands. Once they find that out, it's sayonara baby. Jeesh.... thought we had great conversations, but apparently great conversations are meaningless in the long haul. Women aren't much better, most seem hell bent on getting a man, desperately not caring who they pick up in a bar. I just can't see myself getting that desperate for human companionship.
I am more inclined to believe that at least at my age, it is a combination of moving out of the state I lived in my entire adult life, trying to set up another new life at my age is almost impossible...
Plus, at my age, I'm just so tired of the struggle, you just get to a point where you know you've tried everything, done everything, joined this group and that, did the church thing, the exercise thing, the book club thing, the volunteer 20 hours a week thing, the classes thing, the internet thing till you feel like how much more energy can you keep putting into all this with no return? I can't understand why it is so darn hard to connect with people. Is it cause they all have such incredible lives that there is just no room for another person? I realize most people have jobs and family...life is hectic these days....but to not find one soul that resonates to mine just seems odd.
welllllll whatever....I have droned on here endlessly and if you got to the end of this mini-polemic, the question stands. What the heck is it about us chronically alone people that precludes others from including us in their jam-packed-people-populated-hectic-preset-on automatic-pilot lives????? I mean, if it doesn't involve sex, it seems like no one really is interested in anyone else as a human being in their own right.