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Knight

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I originally posted this here -

http://www.laborlawtalk.com/showthread.php?p=1085039#post1085039

Okay I hope I can explain everything clearly and everything through, but if I don't please don't hesitate to ask me questions. I chose Other for the state because really it's both Florida and Maine.

Okay first of all I live in Virginia, I turn 18 on May 11th.
My girlfriend lives in Florida, she is 16 and her birthday is on September 24th or 21st.

There are two sides to this problem my side and her side.

My side - My parents are kicking me out when I'm 18. The only place I could go is up to Maine to live with my grandma's house, I know she would let me live there for a while as long as I have a job. It would very easy to get a job up there for the summer because it's a very popular tourist place, and not so easy finding a job during the rest of the year but I think I could find one anyways. I can easily get to her house it'll cost me around 100$, I have done it many times before to visit her during the summer.

My girlfriends side - She is currently going through online school because she forced her mom to because she hates high school for VERY good reasons (let me just put it this way teasing, extreme sexual abuse etc...) and her mom doesn't understand why she doesn't like high school. Well for the past few days her mom has been wanting to put her back into high school because she thinks that it's not good for my girlfriend to be at home and that she wants her to be with other people her age. My girlfriend does NOT want to go back, and she has VERY good reasons why she doesn't want to. I wouldn't say her mother is abusive but she is a bit cruel at times (slapping, yelling etc.)

Now we do want to be together and get married, and she is desperate to get away from her mother because her mother is causing her extreme stress and such, she has been very depressed even to the point of suicide and I have helped her get by that.

I have read the laws for emancipation including the sticky that is posted here - http://www.laborlawtalk.com/showthread.php?t=174887

I know that she can't support herself without me so that is not an option. She definitely does NOT want to join the military although she's too young for that anyways. The only option I see is to get married, but if I'm living in Maine and she is still living in Florida. Which state would we get married? She wants to move with me, but I would still have to find a place to live in Maine besides my grandma's house.

Thank you in advance for your help. Please ask me questions if you have any.
 
Marriage s not a "fix-all" for problems, and shouldn't be considered as a means to an end.
 
I think you're probably too young to be getting married, especially if you haven't met each other yet.

I had a girl I was 'with' via long-distance relationship, around your age (16-17) close as close can be for two people 500 miles apart. We understood one another and for all intents and purposes, were pretty certain we were in love.

When we met, things were different. She barely even talked to me. We haven't really spoken since.

Things change a lot when you become independent and live on your own for a while, and get life figured out. Even more so when we're young...at 22 I think I'm pretty well grown in terms of my mindset, but I'm still growing as a person in other ways (overcoming fears mostly). I think I can pretty well say that a girl who would've liked me five years ago, probably would not like me today. And the reverse is true...the girl I would've liked five years ago, I probably wouldn't like today. I barely knew how the world worked, and the ideas I thought were good back then are the ideas I hate today, especially since I actually have a job now.

Youth marriage and pregnancy are two of the biggest mistakes this generation seems to be making.

I would definitely make an effort to meet this girl, and if you hit it off you need to find a way to get together at least a few more times, to make sure you're comfortable with one another. From there you might consider a live-in situation to see how you work together, and then consider marriage. But at least find a stable job first. Marriage is a huge commitment, both emotionally and financially...if she's out of work/unemployed, it's up to you to provide for the two of you. If one of you wants to go to school for something, the other may have to pick up slack.

How old is your girlfriend?
 
Hmmm, I initially understood this as if they had originally been together in physical but were somehow now seperated by distance (for reasons unstated and unknown).

If this has always just been an online situation, then Knight, you are jumping the gun.

Go meet the girl first. She may be presenting a completely false story to you or 1 that is highly embellished.

Put the decision making process ON HOLD until you actually meet her and can assess.
 
She needs to be able to talk to her Mom about School, or some Family member or a competent trust worthy adult,but you have to deal with that first(couldent she go to a different School)
getting Married is not the answer
My Brother and his 1st wife were
18/16 when they got Married and they allready had a Baby,
you need some one that is able to help her get help
 
Knight didn't you have different girl friend as recently as 2 months ago?! and you're talking about marriage with someone you haven't met yet!? Get a hold of yourself!

You aren't an adult yet. You aren't remotely close supporting yourself and just because you turn 18 and move to Maine won't dramatically make you capable of getting a sufficiently paying job. Perhaps you should take a few steps towards self sufficiency instead of risking both of your lives and alienating your families.

Throwing yourself into a grown up situation hoping that you'd step up because you probably won't grow up and a very messed up situation will result.

How about she solve her problem with high school? Find help? try communicating with her mother as stagnant says? If that can be solved theres no reason to gamble with your life.

Please just consider that you're being a little too dramatic about this situation?
 

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