my webcam is my only lover

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somedays, i can spend up to 10 hours on my webcam. letting strange men internationally degrade me. its the only connection to the outside world that i have. its like an addiction sometimes. i chat with these people and i feel like im not the only loser masturbating on webcam. my therapist thinks its because im not over my ex yet? maybe im not, so what? i dont like to be touched, i dont like to go to bars, i hate nightclubs... i dont want a one night stand only to wake up with crabs. i jus want some human interaction. but everytime i chat with these ppl, it always leads to nudity and a cold shower. lately ive even noticed how desensitized ive become. i dont even flinch when someone tells me im pretty. i dont believe them. its just another ploy to get me to flash my tits on cam. so lame. when will i be healed from this? when will i be able to go out and find someone? when will i trust again? when will i feel like a part of society..... not just the girl on webcam. i yearn for a deep connection. but seems like boston is quiet tonite
 
how sad.

sounds unhealthy.

you should change everything about you, and just start fresh.

no more of that webcam stuff or cold showers.
 
I see what you mean, I looked into cams before, but never really actually "used" it nor stayed for long, it's pretty soulless with hundreds of people screaming "you're pretty!" so they can masturbate, I'm not sure what it is but I find it amusing but gratifying and comforting to see other people out there that actually does this and being honest about wanting interactions or attentions, but it's sad at the same time that some people are actually beautiful and seems to live a normal life.

It's not really a great place for any social interaction more than just masturbatory attentions (but what isn't on the internet?). If you don't want to be just a webcam girl, then you should just stay away from that, you won't get anything more out of it other than time sink and hundreds of losers talking to you because they can get you to take off your clothes.
 
well, sounds like you are so so desperate for any kind of connection and you need this reward, this sort of high you get for being the center of one person's attention for those 10 or 20 or however many minutes.

you are in a situation where you are finally in control of something, chosing to give them what they want or not.

Yes, I agree. This is only going to degrade you and your self respect. If you need a sexual outlet, for pleasure or stress reduction.... find some other way, books or dvds in the genre that can get you off. But I too think you have to stop, because if it isn't just for the tease, the self gratification then you need to really come to grips with why you have chosen this way to assert your worth, dominance, power over men.

edit: oh, glad to hear you do have a therapist. isn't there a group your therapist can get you into...you really need to try to be with a few people, just like you, that you might feel safer with. if we have forced everyone out of our lives, then it is really true, when you are alone, you are in bad company...because we aren't thinking healthy if we do this. Seriously see if you can't find a group from your therapist
 
Please note, this is a serious thread, posts of an unsavory nature will be removed.
 
I'm pretty sure that these type of thigns are common among women. (I think.) Maybe not with cams but like, women having a relationship just so they won't be alone all the time? I would do it too if I was an woman.

Btw, this might be of topic. But have you had a lot of people registrating new accoutns so they can spam your inbox with PM's asking for msn? :rolleyes2:
 
There are plenty of friendship based chatrooms that use webcams. You don't have to take your clothes off for interaction with some nice people. And more than likely you won't be left feeling 'used' and empty afterwards. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with cybersex, to each their own, but as you've realized you're not being emotionally your forefilled. Isn't that what you truely desire?
 
I used to do that(as you already know). It IS indeed souless.

I had to throw out my webcam so I wouldn't do it anymore. I knew if I kept it I probably would keep doing it, so I just threw it out.

Its worth it to stop. Those men aren't normal. They're cold, and emotionally callous and..well..you have to keep that in mind.

I deserved better and I knew that. So do you.
 
Vladimir Putin said:
I'm pretty sure that these type of thigns are common among women. (I think.) Maybe not with cams but like, women having a relationship just so they won't be alone all the time? I would do it too if I was an woman.

umm...that type of thing is NOT gender specific, dude.
 
EveWasFramed said:
Vladimir Putin said:
I'm pretty sure that these type of thigns are common among women. (I think.) Maybe not with cams but like, women having a relationship just so they won't be alone all the time? I would do it too if I was an woman.

umm...that type of thing is NOT gender specific, dude.

You're sure about that? I never heard of a man that gets a girlfriend so he wont be alone? I thought it was an all woman thing?

It's women who have the pick of the litter, women and tall/dark/handsome men, with green eyes and a nice car.
 
are you serious up there Vlad???? it's only the thin or at least, thinner (women start to become totally verboten in a man's eye around 25 to 30 pounds overweight) women who have their choice of any man on the face of the earth. Sure I'm very overweight, but on dating sites, there are an awful lot of chunky, beer bellied and down right hauling a** huge men out there who wouldn't even chat with me on line.... men don't waste time ,period, at all unless they see a woman as f-able. The fattest guys out there want even more so that "normal" looking dame, and I do believe it is to appear "normal" themselves.

I don't think women have all the power in their back pocket as you suggest... and it's not just the great looking guys with green eyes who have the pick of the litter...ultimately it is up to the guy to take her pro-offered hand, especially for a relationship. if a guy just wants to bonk and he's drunk enough he probably would settle for anything, but in the sober light of day????

And I have seen women get used by men who were just lonely, I had a few women friends back in Connecticut who would hang out in the bars and befriend the poor lost souls crying in their beer weekend after weekend only to realize if they tried to actually develop that scenario into a friendship or relationship, forget it! Yeah, men will use women as sounding boards for their misery and few free drinks if they are desperate enough.

I just hope and pray moonlight rage does throw away that cam. Perfect idea. I think we can become as addicted to sex as we can to substances.

Vladimir Putin said:
EveWasFramed said:
Vladimir Putin said:
I'm pretty sure that these type of thigns are common among women. (I think.) Maybe not with cams but like, women having a relationship just so they won't be alone all the time? I would do it too if I was an woman.

umm...that type of thing is NOT gender specific, dude.

You're sure about that? I never heard of a man that gets a girlfriend so he wont be alone? I thought it was an all woman thing?

It's women who have the pick of the litter, women and tall/dark/handsome men, with green eyes and a nice car.
 
Vladimir Putin said:
You're sure about that? I never heard of a man that gets a girlfriend so he wont be alone? I thought it was an all woman thing?

Males have been known to do that also.
 
I'm pretty sure that these type of thigns are common among women. (I think.) Maybe not with cams but like, women having a relationship just so they won't be alone all the time? I would do it too if I was an woman.

Well you kind of answered your own question, you said you'd do it too if you were a woman, so the only thing keeping you away from doing that is because you think it only applies to women.

But to answer the question, no it's not a "woman thing".
 
Vladimir Putin said:
EveWasFramed said:
Vladimir Putin said:
I'm pretty sure that these type of thigns are common among women. (I think.) Maybe not with cams but like, women having a relationship just so they won't be alone all the time? I would do it too if I was an woman.

umm...that type of thing is NOT gender specific, dude.

You're sure about that? I never heard of a man that gets a girlfriend so he wont be alone? I thought it was an all woman thing?

Yes, Im absolutely sure about that.
And that you've never heard of a man getting a girlfriend so that he won't be alone? Maybe you haven't been around enough people to see this kind of thing, I don't know.
Either sex can be open to doing something like that if it means not being alone. To suggest it's a "woman" thing is just bizarre.
 
x moonlit rage x said:
somedays, i can spend up to 10 hours on my webcam. letting strange men internationally degrade me. its the only connection to the outside world that i have. its like an addiction sometimes. i chat with these people and i feel like im not the only loser masturbating on webcam. my therapist thinks its because im not over my ex yet? maybe im not, so what? i dont like to be touched, i dont like to go to bars, i hate nightclubs... i dont want a one night stand only to wake up with crabs. i jus want some human interaction. but everytime i chat with these ppl, it always leads to nudity and a cold shower. lately ive even noticed how desensitized ive become. i dont even flinch when someone tells me im pretty. i dont believe them. its just another ploy to get me to flash my tits on cam. so lame. when will i be healed from this? when will i be able to go out and find someone? when will i trust again? when will i feel like a part of society..... not just the girl on webcam. i yearn for a deep connection. but seems like boston is quiet tonite
If you are not over your ex, then you need to really give yourself time and space to heal. It's normal to want that human interaction and attention. What you are doing right now obviously isn't working, as you says it's having a toxic effect on you. Not to mention, you probably won't find anyone that you would want to be with on cam chats.

On a side note, I want to tell you to be wary of what you do on a webcam. There are some twisted fucks out there who record what you do, and somehow it ends up on a website. You don't want this to possibly tarnish your future. So therefore, if you are going to be doing anything, be careful and try not to show your face or anything that could identify you.
 
idle said:
so, what was that MSN

You apparently didnt take the hint when I deleted your post the first time you asked that question.
This is a serious thread. Please refrain from asking again.

EDIT:

Ps. Use the time you have away from the forum to reconsider trolling A Lonely Life.
 
i thought he meant, having sex for they wouldnt be alone. i dont know of any guys who force themselves to have sex to keep someone. ive heard of it through marriage... but thats somewhat unrelated. normally if he cant get it up, it just doesnt happen. i dont know of that many guys who expose themselves naked for attention either. i guess there are some pictures, like private parts on craigslist, and shirtless guys on myspace, and emo guys on vampire, but i dont believe the exposure is brought upon through the same means. as when a girl exposes herself in fear of losing the guys attention.

as for relationships... my goodness. im so desperate. i fall in love with anyone that shows me attention. even if it sounds like theyll give me attention, i start falling in love with the idea of them. i looked up two escorts today. depressed me though. $50 'tips'. i dont have that kind of money. i didnt do it. then tried craigslist, and got spammed... nothing came from it. i called my friend. shes like super religious and like an angel. i love talking with her. i go to her when i feel like giving up on women, cause i could never hate her, so i could never hate women. but i sure do hate a lot of them though...
 
EveWasFramed said:
Yes, Im absolutely sure about that.
And that you've never heard of a man getting a girlfriend so that he won't be alone? Maybe you haven't been around enough people to see this kind of thing, I don't know.
Either sex can be open to doing something like that if it means not being alone. To suggest it's a "woman" thing is just bizarre.

Well then it's me that is wrong here? Of course. It's always me vs the rest of the world.
:D
a female hair stylist in the Kaluga region is suspected of holding an armed robber in captivity as a sex slave for two days after he unsuccessfully tried to knock over her beauty salon.
http://www.themoscowtimes.com/blogs/article/376242.html
 
moon lit rage.. i know exactly, exactly how you feel..
would be really interesting if we could talk.. if you see this email me at [email protected].
 

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