Depression & Apathy

Well, here's my story. I don't think this is a typical problem seen here. I've been depressed for years since 22, now I'm 24. However, it's not associated with typical low confidence or anxiety, it's just that I feel...empty. Nothing drives me, I have apathy. I'm living in a coma. The thing is, is that I see the illusions of society, media influence, pop culture, money, status & I say "FWEH!!" I know the lies my ego tries to tell me about my self-esteem, but I still...feel...empty. I don't care, seriously. It also doesn't help that I'm a virgin with no proper girlfriend & limited dating experience, I haven't truly connected with a significant-other in my life & I worry that I may never will. I want to connect with somebody, I have no friends, please respond.

FWEH!!... that's awesome lol. I never came up with an audible response to that thought process before lol.

Not sure how to response the post. what are you doing with yourself. what's your life like. what's a typical day. why no friends? how come no girl?

honestly I can say you may be in a prime condition to start something new with the right person. Most of the time relationships had at a young age are often fruitless and end tragically, scarring you and leaving you even more messed up and less likely to have a working relationship. So at least you have a clean slate going for you. anyway... yeah

(FWEH!! It's just a form of "HMPH!!" =P)

Anyway, I appreciate the response. My day consists of a typical day with typical responsibilities. I live with my parents so I help them with some bills. I go to work, surf the web, sometimes draw & paint. Although, some nights I just can't sleep, I just stay up playing video games all night to cope with any unspent energy. I have no friends, I occassionally talk to people from work, but I have no interest in them. They don't stimulate me in any way. It's the same thing with family, dad's boring, my step-mom's boring. Sure I love them both, but, ...well, they're boring to ME, the life-style at home is of hispanic music & dance & soccer I'm just not into that. I work in a restaurant, I dislike the restaurant business. If there's anything that will drive you insane it's cleaning the same food station several times in one day. In short, I'm in a rut. I live in a routine. It's depressing. Nothing drives or interests me.

Yes I've been there had no interest in life but that was because I had nothing in my life that SEEMED worthy of my attention other than depression.

Friends at that time were few and far between and even then I felt like they were really not friends because I couldn't bond that well and had anxiety.

Just pray something will come into your life to get it restarted again and have some zing to it so you have passion again.

Have you tried www.meetup.com you've got a 50/50 chance of making friends there just depends if they're in your age group and if you get on. Well there are obviously other factors but hey give it a try.

I know what it's like to be stuck in a rut I've been there for years on end, then my life gets better then I get stuck in a rut again, not a good life I tell you.

Have you thought about changing jobs? Something that you would like to work at? Sometimes it's not easy I know but it could be worth a try.

do you live near marion county?

i do just about all the same, except retail, and im caucasian...

do you call long distance friends ?

M / 22

Meetup.com is definitely a hell of an idea. Thanks for recommending it! And, YES, today I actually thought about changing jobs. More than anything, I need a change of scenery.

To h i, no I live in Miami, not a place you'd likely expect someone to have problems meeting people, but people, this job & lifestyle have jaded me overtime, now I just need a change. As far as long-distance friends go, my best friend lives in New Jersey, where I used to live in my high school years. Unfortunately, he's been in jail for years for gun possession & hanging with the wrong crowd & the only contact I have with him is through mail & his father.

oh. thats like 5 hours from me.

i had friends when i lived in a small town, cause everyone knew everyone. now that im in a large town, i hardly know anyone.

Heh! Now I understand why places like NYC are said to possess lonely people. Look at the size of the place!

maybe you need to travel the world, or go to college to get a degree in something you love

I know howyou feel. I go through a state of apathy throughout most of my days. I don't get excited, I don't get upset, I just feel empty and numb...and then it makes me feel extemely sad.Being sad and empty is one of the worst feelings I think one can go through but it has happen..and I'm fairly certain it'll happen again.

oneguyfromfl said:

Well, here's my story. I don't think this is a typical problem seen here. I've been depressed for years since 22, now I'm 24. However, it's not associated with typical low confidence or anxiety, it's just that I feel...empty. Nothing drives me, I have apathy. I'm living in a coma. The thing is, is that I see the illusions of society, media influence, pop culture, money, status & I say "FWEH!!" I know the lies my ego tries to tell me about my self-esteem, but I still...feel...empty. I don't care, seriously. It also doesn't help that I'm a virgin with no proper girlfriend & limited dating experience, I haven't truly connected with a significant-other in my life & I worry that I may never will. I want to connect with somebody, I have no friends, please respond.

Click to expand...

I'm going through the exact same thing.I know how you feel...

Depression lives in your head...wheather you belive it to be a chemicle imbalance or pyschology...
it's still in your head either way...Get out of your head.

You are not your thoughts..you are not your feelings...
You have thoughts and feelings.

You are not your brain or your mind...You have a brain and a mind.

You can simply chose to let go of your negative thoughts and feelings...Simply allow yourself...
Or you can get spiritaul or meditate....quite your mind or let go of your thoughts.
Different way of achieving the same goal...

There's nothing wrong with you...it's in your thoughts or thinking that you may think there's some wrong with you.
Change your thinking , change your life..

You lack nothing...you are complete and whole already....
Just like a rose's seed...The seed has everything built into it to be a rose...
You are a beautiful and complete human being. That's who you are...You were borned with this.

Comparing yourself with others is a self defeating habit...Habits can be broken.
Develope other habits that are positive and well benifit you.

oneguyfromfl: You're in the right place! Most of the people here have the same feelings, or can at least understand your position. So hang with us! Online friends may be just a secondary-level fascimile of the real thing (depending on your view of online relationships, that is!)....but they're still worth it! ^_^

----Steve

oneguyfromfl said:

I know the lies my ego tries to tell me about my self-esteem, but I still...feel...empty. I don't care, seriously. It also doesn't help that I'm a virgin with no proper girlfriend & limited dating experience, I haven't truly connected with a significant-other in my life & I worry that I may never will. I want to connect with somebody, I have no friends, please respond.

Click to expand...

I'm sorry to hear you're having a rough time. I know how it feels to wake up in the night wondering if you'll be alone forever. It feels terrible and unfair and it's not something I would wish on my worst enemy.

I suspect you will overcome it eventually. I'm not very good at these things myself, so I can't honestly say when or how. In the meantime you have plenty of people here that understand...or at least try to.