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Share your suicide story.
#1
(in response to a reply, this thread by no means is meant to encourage the idea of suicide. In all reality if some one really wants to die there is nothing anyone can do to stop them from completing the task. However, for those of us who have tried and failed it's just something to do if you feel like sharing your story.)

Well if this thread already exists my apologies. If not, then, if you've tried to kill yourself tell us how and what happened. How'd it go, what was interesting, anything really?

Anyway mine is lame. Took a fair amount of tylenol. didn't eat anything the whole day so that my stomache would be empty and absorb the pills quicker. My plan was to chew the pills in my mouth before swolling to quicken the death process even more, but the taste was awfull so i said screw it and just swallowed the whole lot. It was quite difficult and damn... a lot of pills. every time i took a new handfull i couldn't beleive i was actually finnaly doing it and it was the end. i chickened out halfway through and tried to induce vommitting but that failed so i said to myself don't be pussy just finish it you have no choice... which i don't really but i'm a pussy and still alive... so finished swallowing the pills... and decided to talk to my close friend as long as i could before i left. i mostly just listened to him talk. i started getting weaker and weaker and my head start hurting and finnaly i had to let him go... somehow i think he knew what i had done and i felt reallly guilty for leaving him behind... then i finnaly fell asleep...

then i fucking woke up with the most severely upset stomache ever. if i didn't move it was fine but when i moved it got worse and of course i was impatient that i wasn't dead yet and decided to move to light a cigarette and after the second drag culdn't hold it down anymore and started invouluntaralily spewing white crap everywhere. realized i fucked it up and i was a pussy and stumbled into the parents room (yup loser) vommitting all over the place LOL... so yeah... it was funny my father was all embarassed about what the neighbors would think and didn't want to call an ambulance and just drive me to the hospital... so i'm just sitting there all half dying and very weak... then ambulance people come and talk real loud and act all super concerned and pissed at you for having the guts to try and find a way out while they have succesffull bullshit lives that culdn't comprehend why anyone would want to die... lol god they yell at you and treat you like dirt lol it's so funny lol... it's like the scorning lol.... lol i enjoyed the whole damn thing tho... so yeah then for 3 days people had to sit in my room to make sure i didn't kill myself on hospital watch so i just talked with those people and had fun being taken care of then... one of those inpatient places... then they tried to get me to sign papers to admit me to a state hospital indefinately which i didn't sign...

so moral of the story, if you want to die, do it right and don't fear the reaper. If you do fuck up and find your not dead and heading to the hospital in an ambulance do NOT sign the papers if they try to admit you. they can hold you for a while, but if you sign they can keep you as long as you like and trust me. there is something worse then death, it's called prison or a mental ward full of lost souls and shattered minds which is prolly where i will end up unless i get the guts to finish what i started, but for not i'm enjoying the simple joys of just existing as long as i can. so that's my story hope some of you have some better stuff.

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#2
Hi there.

My plan was to suffocate myself in a garbage bag. But im a bit wuss, so i was gonna take some Valium and fall asleep with a garbage bag tightened around my head. I drank some alcohol to speed up the affects beforehand. I crushed and drank up a pack of vallum. Woke up in the morning. I fell asleep before i could get the bag over my head i assume. Was full dressed to goto school. Really dizzy. Collapsed. Woke up in hospital.

I just so happened that my dad looked in my wallet where i had kept the empty pill casings and called an ambulance. I had kept these in my wallet so that if i failed i would be able to dispose of them without anyone knowing.

I ultimately got stuck in a mental health clinic for a month, which screwed up my VCE(final year of highschool, will determine which university courses im eligible for) studies bad. And yeh, there were papers i had to sign before they could keep me there, but i was too sleepy. I spent almost the first 3 days sleeping it off in that mental health clinic.
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#3
The saddest part of my story is I don't remember why I attempted it.

I remember what I tried though. I took 20 800 mg pills of ibuprofen. I thought it'd kill me...even left a note telling my mom not to wake me up for school because I was dead. My alarm ended up going off before anyone even came into my room and I realized I had lived. I was pretty sick though...threw up in the trash can and told them I had the flu or something.

I'm very happy that I lived and never attempted anything again. I had suicidal thoughts later on in life, but not anymore. I've not felt so good in a long time.

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[Image: deathwing_1024x0768.jpg]

You're the only one who can hold your head up high,
Shake your fists at the gates saying:
"I've come home now!
Fetch me the spirit, the son, and the father.
Tell them their pillar of faith has ascended.
It's time now!
My time now!
Give me my, give me my wings!"
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#4
I'm not sure what to make of this thread....

is it helpful in detering people from actually doing it themselves?

what if people actually use information in this thread to hurt themselves BETTER?
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#5
(11-24-2009, 08:31 PM)yesm Wrote: If you do fuck up and find your not dead and heading to the hospital in an ambulance do NOT sign the papers if they try to admit you. they can hold you for a while, but if you sign they can keep you as long as you like and trust me. there is something worse then death, it's called prison or a mental ward full of lost souls and shattered minds which is prolly where i will end up unless i get the guts to finish what i started, but for not i'm enjoying the simple joys of just existing as long as i can. so that's my story hope some of you have some better stuff.

OMG i know what you mean! I was in the hospital and i thought they were moving me to a different room. they drove me a little ways, which i thought was weird, and then i went to a building and they shut and locked the door. I freaked out when they told me where i was and that i couldnt leave. they said i signed the papers while i was in the hospital. i dont recall ever doing it but they showed me my signature. what a NIGHTMARE!! i was ready to knock someone out just to get out of there. It was the craziest thing having someone lock me up and tell me a judge will decide when i can go. and i was in another state, too. i wasnt even in a place that i lived. i was on a trip with my boyfriend.
§ In life I got the short end of the allele §
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#6
i hate how depression and suicide are paired together. when im depressed, it overwhelms all other functions. im to depressed for suicide.
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#7
I hardly ever leave the house. I had/have crones disease, which was constant diariah. I also have severe skin problems. My skin problems get worse and worse. I can't even find clothes to wear anymore that don't make me break out, and have my skin burn. Everytime, I try on a new piece of clothing, it also has a bizzare mental effect that gives me panic attacks on me along with the break out.

I have red patches and spots all over my face, and chest and back. It gets worse if I have any wind or a fan blowing on me. I can't even take a shower without putting lubricant on my body, or the problem just gets worse. (I have to take a multiple enzyme pill everyday, or my skin feels like acid is being poured over it constantly)

about 6 months ago, my diariah, turned into chronic constipation. It gets worse everday. I have to take massive doses of laxatives just to go. And all the backed up stool makes it hard to urinate. The technician at my last urology test, said she was surprised I could still eat or wasn't in constant pain from all the backed up stool. I can't sleep hardly at all, and when I do, I have the worst nightmares.

I'm on medicade, have no money, and have to travel a 165 miles just to see my doctor. the best I can look forward to is a surgery like a colostomy. Even that might not stop the constipation.
I sit in a chair, most of the day staring at the wall. Until it almost drives me crazy and I come over to the computer.

I keep thinking about my problems, and how I can't take care of myself, and how horrible it will be to watch my parents die when they do. I wonder how anyone can be happy.

I keep thinking about killing myself, but I'm to scared to die even though I don't feel like living anymore.
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#8
Well, this was a number of years ago and it wasn't a suicide attempt. I just really hated myself so much, i had to hurt myself "crazy i know" so i found some scissors and went at my wrist. i knew how not to strike anything major but made a little bit of a mess. Anyways i did bad job cleaning the blood, parents found me. took me to a safe house and man, that place was hell. The mattress like i swear was meant to hurt you, my back never felt such pain. the food was REALLY good but it was all like super fatty stuff so i think they wanted to fatten us up. and the other people in their were just WACK like, they were way out there....i dunno it's a weird experience. Life is so easy for some and comes so hard for others. Nature of the beast i guess
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#9
(11-25-2009, 02:49 PM)h i Wrote: i hate how depression and suicide are paired together. when im depressed, it overwhelms all other functions. im to depressed for suicide.

you know thats actually a good point. b/c if a person thinks of suicide, then that means they think there is still hope to feel better. a very depressed person knows there is no hope; not in life and not in death.
§ In life I got the short end of the allele §
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#10
depressed unhappy people do commite suicide. It's not the happy bubbly ones doing it.
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