Among loving people and still lonely...?

Hi there,
I have been wondering for awhile, that how come, when you have a huge loving family, many loving and wonderful friends, and awesome classmates, who you really love, and believe in a God who loves you, how come when you're surruonded by people you love and who love you back, you still feel extremely lonely?

Well, that's weird! Can't you think about any reason at all why you (I assume it's about you) would feel EXTREMELY lonely like you described? Why do you feel that you're lonely? Do you feel out of place? Like no one understand you? Are you in a relationship? Maybe that's what you're missing?

Wish I could give some better advice, but I think only you can figure out the answer to your question

Good luck

I feel the same way. For me i think its because i cant relate to anyone... I only use to be able to talk to my sis, but shes changed... maybe I've changed. Now i have no one who REALLY understands me and who i feel really comfortable with.

Do you have a someone who you could tell ANYTHING to?
Or someone who you could just talk nonsense to for hours?

I think if you find someone who fits these, you'll feel a lot better =]

I dunno, Jemima. I fit all that criteria. I love my family, they love me, God loves me and teaches me new things every day. My life isn't so bad. I've got people who at least accept my silly side, even if they don't accept the serious me with problems.

And yet every day I realize over and over again, as the sun goes down, that I'm remarkably lonely. It's bad at night, but sometiems it's also hard in the daytime. I might be out somewhere and suddenly I almost see myself third person and i'm alone. I really am, even though i'm with my family or friends.

I feel like there is someone i'm missing. I feel almost as if a part of my family that walked out of my life a long time ago, and everyone agreed to never mention them again act like they never existed. But I don't think that happened. I just feel like it did.

And I feel like I can't relate to people my own age, not very well. It depends on who it is. Finding people who you think are cool and think you're cool too is really difficult. People you feel comfortable with.

And i just found out today that Christmas plans with a really cool family I know just got canceled. So it looks like we're back to doing nothing on Christmas day, just like every other year. So the loneliness descends.

Its hard to find someone that you really connect with on all levels...

Almost night near impossible in fact.

And then when you find these people they may or may not want to be your friend or feel the same way you do.

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Its hard to find someone that you really connect with on all levels...

Almost night near impossible in fact.

And then when you find these people they may or may not want to be your friend or feel the same way you do.

Sounds like a case of existential angst.

I feel this way a lot.

I always thought a lot of mine had to do with not believing in God after being raised in a religious household/society. It's interesting that you believe in God and still feel so alone.

I'm having horrible brain fog right now, so I can't recall the correct names, but there are plenty of both philosophers and more modern psychoanalysts that have dealt with this phenomenon, and each one has their own compelling theory as to why we feel this way. You'll have to decide for yourself which one you like best

Perhaps, Jemima, it is the absence of a smile meant for you alone, or the touch of a hand that has a warmth that melts the iciness of loneliness. Perhaps it is the dyad unrealized that haunts your thoughts...

I can feel the loneliness of your heart. I can sense the pain that comes with that tiny voice inside crying "Why am I alone? Why is there no one just for me?"

For me there is so much emptiness in ambivalence towards some, a querulous uneasiness around those whose touch feels invasive, but a spectacular glow comes over me and my mood soars to that place from where the stars get their twinkle when someone is near who loves me - especially me... Then I feel wonderful...

Jemina, I think I'm feeling the same thing as you right now, so... this must be something that is quite common. Unfortunately, everyone admits to these things here but never in public.

Even the spiritual aspect of it is troubling. Theoretically, loneliness should not touch someone who is grounded in some kind of metaphysical faith, but... obviously it does.

As Coricopat said, it could be existential angst. Some kind of pain, saying, "What is the purpose of my life? Why are things this way?" etc.

Of course, this is an Internet forum, so I cannot see exactly how you feel, but I'll send you my blessings.

I get mad when people say if your faith is strong enough you won't be lonely or depressed or ever be un-accepting of things. That's like saying if your bridge is long enough there won't be water underneath it.

Faith gets you through things, it doesn't get you around them.

i'm not sure.. sometimes i feel the same. i can be with friends or have friends and still feel alone. the conclusion i've come to is that i dont really have anyone that i could talk to about anything i feel as though a lot of my friends would judge me before trying to understand. maybe you just need someone who you can completely relate too and will listen to you.. i have hope that that person is out there for everyone.

In our life one has to spent all alone in certain period of time.
Lonliness dooms our life to the darkness, one needs someone's
companion to atleast spend their time peacefully.

I am just taking a guess....

But could it be that you aren't experiencing enough intimacy with these people...OR

You are not in touch with yourself or intimate with yourself.

The above post by HappyYogi sounds right to me. Either you are not close enough to your family and friends for whatever reason, and/or you are not being you around them.

Yep, I get this feeling all the time. I could be in a room full of people I know and love yet at the same time I feel hideously lonely. I've even been at a festival full of thousands of people but I still felt lonely.

I feel the same way you do. I'm surrounded by so many people, and still feel so isolated. It's always been like that. As a child I had many friends, but I never stayed in touch with any of them. And it's much like it now, I feel that people come and go, and no one bothers to stick around a bit.
For a long time I've been wondering why everybody else seem to be living time of their lives and I'm not... I'm going out a lot and I meet a lot of new people, but after all that, I feel lonely and... well.. just that something is missing.
And now I found this forum and so many of you who feel the same way I do, and... has anyone found an answer? A solution? It's impossible that so many people are living through same things... and I don't mean just like a phase (because for me it's always been this way, since I was a child)... I don't know.. Maybe some of us are ment to walk around like lonely rangers...

Jemima said:

Hi there,
I have been wondering for awhile, that how come, when you have a huge loving family, many loving and wonderful friends, and awesome classmates, who you really love, and believe in a God who loves you, how come when you're surruonded by people you love and who love you back, you still feel extremely lonely?

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I don't know, but I feel the same way.

Lonely in a crowd.

People can still feel lonely despite feeling loved, as the type of love they're receiving could not be the type that they're looking for. I like to think that Friend Love is different from Family Love and Partner Love. Even pet Love is in it's own category for me

Gutted said:

People can still feel lonely despite feeling loved, as the type of love they're receiving could not be the type that they're looking for. I like to think that Friend Love is different from Family Love and Partner Love. Even pet Love is in it's own category for me

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I think I have been emotionally amputated, I have never experienced Pet Love