Which is the better option? To have loved and lost or to have never loved?

CAS · Nov 28, 2009

I definitely think i's better to have loved and lost. At least then you can say you've experienced the feelings of love and are not completely ignorant about it.

But then again, I'm such a sensitive, fragile character I sometimes think I'd never be able to handle a split from someone I loved. I don't know. It's one of those chicken/egg scenarios I guess.

viviana · Nov 28, 2009

just how long are going to be reading this.
haha, just checking who's online. and an answer to this. i wish no one had to experience breakup, especially if one of them still love the other so deeply. there are time when i want to kill myself because of it. i mean half the time, reallly.........or most of the time...

CAS · Nov 28, 2009

Aww. Hugs to you, Viviana. I feel the same way myself a lot of the time.

Coverage · Nov 28, 2009

I certainly go with love and lost, because at least then you can know what love feels like and you can know that love is possible for you.

leftykmonahan · Nov 28, 2009

Loved and lost and had my memory wiped of the entire relationship -- that I could like. Otherwise I'd prefer never to have loved. The lingering heartache is great, and the memories cause far too much pain. I could really do without that.

Porman · Nov 28, 2009

CAS said:
...I sometimes think I'd never be able to handle a split from someone I loved. I don't know.

What happens is it hurts real bad at first, you feel like you're life has been turned upside down, that you will never get over it, and then all of a sudden you do, and you stop thinking about them all together.

living life without ever knowing is much worse.

Von Blown · Nov 28, 2009

My first girlfriend break up, shook me up so bad, all I did was think about her for years. Even when I was going out with somebody else.

Now years later, and many medical problems since. I've actually lost the ability to cry. I can get upset, but I really can't shed tears anymore. I don't know if that's related to my medical problems or what.

But I see women now, just as objects looking to survive. I'm sad I never got married, or had someone that would stick with me though. But that's what I ended up with unfortunatly.

Brian · Nov 28, 2009

Coverage said:
I certainly go with love and lost, because at least then you can know what love feels like and you can know that love is possible for you.

I think I can agree with this.

But at the same time, it's a trade-off. For someone who finds it difficult to connect with the opposite sex (or the same sex, if that's your bag) or even to hold a conversation, It seems to me -in my limited experience and observations of others- to be a trade-off.

You go from feeling unloved, but not knowing the pain of loss, to feeling that you are lovable by at least one person, and knowing the loss.

Both come with a negative feeling. This negative feeling can stick forever, or we can move past it with our lives. But that's up to the person, and so far it's not the funnest thing in the world.

Lonesome Crow · Nov 28, 2009

To live life is to participate. To love is to take a chance.
To not take a change is the biggest risk you'll ever take.

True the pain of losing someone you love is great.
Nothing is grantee in life...that's been my experince.

Life is not with pains...suffering is optional.

I do know, she still loves me inspite of it all...
I do know she has many, many great memories of me as I do her.

DrawingCircleCircles · Nov 28, 2009

It would have to be to have love and lost for me, especially the lost part. It would hurt too much to have love and still have in front of your face. Like being friends after a deep relationship, I dont think you could just sidestep all those deep emotions and feelings a person once had.

Loving someone is just too much of a beautiful thing, and I believe everyone will have loved something in their lives no matter if that something has reciprocated that love.

This post just reminds of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind... the ultimate break-up movie haha. =)

coricopat · Nov 28, 2009

I think the specifics of 'and lost' need to be known before that question can be answered.

heretostay · Nov 29, 2009

its better to have never loved. i wish more then anything i could go back to the way things used to be.

JoeVegas · Dec 1, 2009

It's better to have never loved. I wish more than anything i could forget her.

I'm haunted by a ghost of one who still lives. When i eat alone, shes there. When i go to the movies alone, shes there. i see her across the room, i hear her say my name. And when my phone vibrates it her calling me... .. o wait its just my phone has low battery.

I can vaguely remember what it was like before her. The yearning for love is painful. I had no idea what i was wishing for. Those memories she has given to me are priceless yet now when they frequent my dreams i cannot bare to wake up. When the sun creeps through my widow and cuts me from my bliss i awake to a world i walk alone.
Except when her ghost is there mocking me.

It was Mine · Dec 1, 2009

JoeVegas said:
It's better to have never loved. I wish more than anything i could forget her.

I'm haunted by a ghost of one who still lives. When i eat alone, shes there. When i go to the movies alone, shes there. i see her across the room, i hear her say my name. And when my phone vibrates it her calling me... .. o wait its just my phone has low battery.

I can vaguely remember what it was like before her. The yearning for love is painful. I had no idea what i was wishing for. Those memories she has given to me are priceless yet now when they frequent my dreams i cannot bare to wake up. When the sun creeps through my widow and cuts me from my bliss i awake to a world i walk alone.
Except when her ghost is there mocking me.

I know exactly what you feel, to the "T". Except i even dream of being with my lost love. This song tweaks with how i feel on the matter.

Unique Unicorn · Dec 3, 2009

Definitely loved and lost. Memories are a wonderful thing and as the song says ' a woman's heart is the keeper of many secrets'.

Almondeyes · Dec 5, 2009

Definitely to Love and to have Lost. I've never been in love and it saddens me daily.

PivotPoint · Dec 5, 2009

It's best to be a human being and able to feel something even anxiety. At least that way you are able to prove you exist. At least then it matters. Either we can always run away in pain or just stay around in completely loved state of mind.

The point is that it's just part of the journey. And it all matters for the sake what you will learn from it.

route95 · Dec 6, 2009

Depends on the love. The "love" I experienced was super shitty. I'd rather have not loved at all...

Alaric · Dec 7, 2009

I have loved and lost and it haunts me every day. Sometimes I wish I was an amoeba...

Enchantress · Dec 7, 2009

I think I'd go with to have never loved. To have loved and lost would be so frustrating and heart breaking and then that feeling would linger in you forever reminding you of what you've lost.You can't miss something as bad if u've never tried it.But if you've loved and lost then you'd know what you're missing.And then yo'd spend the rest of your life ,bothways,alone.So better spend it without the pain of remembering someone you've loved. Or I guess so.

Which is the better option? To have loved and lost or to have never loved?

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