Why do I need some one

I am married and feel like my life is wasted. I really need a friend to talk to I guess I want to say things my wife doesn't want to here. She is not receptive of me in general and we have been married for a long time. I have no friends just work. Can anyone help me? or has this gone to far.

Dave

this is a good start. what do you want to say that she doesn't want to hear?

Hi D,

Please feel free to share anything here. I'm sorry your wife isn't listening. Being married is very hard work. I can relate. I love my husband, but I come to this site because there are many things I think he can't understand.

lonelygirl said:

Hi D,

Please feel free to share anything here. I'm sorry your wife isn't listening. Being married is very hard work. I can relate. I love my husband, but I come to this site because there are many things I think he can't understand.

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You know I am new here and I hope I am doing this wright. I really appreciate the comments and they were great. But I think we all must feel like we are being ignored off and on. I am like you lonelygirl I need a way to get my life back I guess. It would be great to just spend a day talking to someone that cared enough to listen.
Thanks guys
D

What is the point of marriage to an unreceptive spouse?

Aaron, I presume that you have never been married?

Marriage is quite complicated. It's a deep commitment to another human being. When people marry, they are usually deeply in love and looking forward to starting a family together. Then, after the years go by, the sexual lust has begun to fade, the children have been born and have caused alternate bouts of stress and joy, the real work begins.

Dmy, please dont' feel that venting about your spouse is somehow wrong. Everyone needs a place to vent. And people here might be able to give you some insights.

Hugs,

LG

I undrestand your circumstances, but my question stands.

Unreceptive in what sense? Sexually? Emotionally?

There are so many ways of being unreceptive. Not to mention, PEOPLE CHANGE! (Hope the light bulb is going off in your head.)

Over the years of a marriage, time that a person has invested in the other person, people can unfortunately grow apart and sometimes come to resent and hate each other.

LG,
Very well put. I've been with the same guy for 9, going on 10 years.
People do change, grow distant, lose interest in each other. Relationships aren't always black and white, they're hard work, even under the best of circumstances.

Whatever the type of unreceptivety, my question stands.

I presume LG is correct in that you've never been married?
Has it occured to you that some of us might not have a choice in staying in a less than perfect relationship? If there are children involved, or financial difficulties, it's not that easy to just up and leave.

Who said anything was easy?

Why do I get the feeling you're an evasive person? )

How should I know? I am not the one here who has shifted ground.

I agree that its not hard to up and leave with kids, but I also agree with AA that a sentence with someone unresponsive is hardly living. I can't really talk anyway - I'm in that boat (unresponsive partner, kids etc) except I haven't even got the paper to say commitment.

A better phrasing might be to assert that such sacrifice may serve other purposes such as domestic partnership for purposes of finance and child rearing. If we only put it that way, the question opens as to better strategies even towards such very ends, if the relationship is indeed abandoned as unsalvageable.

Frankly, if you will not work to save the relationship, then give it a descent burial. Become roommates and see other people! That would still preserve the fiscal advantages of domestic partnership and also without disrupting childrearing.

Aaron,

Marriage and adult relationships are messy. Sex, emotions, and fidelity are complicated, messy, frail, human affairs. I do think your idea of Newname just becoming room mates is a good idea in theory, HOWEVER reality is that men are jealous and possessive, and if he saw her with another lover he might become enraged and take it out on her or her children.

Grown up life is not easy, Aaron.

I totally agree with LG.
In theory becoming roomates is an option, but hardly practical. Maybe in an ideal world, but not this one..

Nothing is easy, but responsibility is better than the alternative.

In short, prioritize!

And perhaps the prospect of semi-divorce might be used to spur any serious effort at counseling and reconciliation.

One way or another, frequently, under conditions of such estrangement, outside affairs may be the only outlet protecting the children from an environment of frustration and hostility!

In any case, the point is: ways/skin/cats!